Angel

The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco Original air date: November 5, 2003 Written and Directed by Jeffrey Bell

What’s the case: A security guard named Henderson walks into a dark alley and comes upon Carlos the plumber who is working but quickly becomes victim number one, and before we can even get a good look at the big bad, Henderson becomes victim number two. It’s not pretty.

Back at the offices of Wolfram & Hart Angel signs contracts and legal documents in his very own blood. He may not be out physically fighting the good fight but he is doing it legally. Gunn explains that just today the vamp set up a foster care system for kids with parents who were killed by vampires, stopped demons from dumping waste and more - all in one day! Gunn is excited about the work, Spike complains about the ghost thing and Angel complains the he feels "disconnected." They all admit that they miss getting their hands a little dirty now and again and could actually use a little action. Just as they complain about their lack of action, Angel chases down W&H mail guy in order to get a parcel out that evening and mail guy tosses his boss out the window. He’s so fired! So much for in-house attacks being down 30% for the week. To make matters worse, word comes across the wire that something is trolling LA killing folks and taking their hearts as a souvenir. What’s up with Angel: The boys head out in the convertible that evening on the adventure they’ve been hoping for and instantly happen upon a dead body sans a heart. The big bad ain’t far behind and it’s not long before he arrives, ready to brawl and all dressed up in Aztec Warrior garb. The fearsome foursome put up a good fight and run the guy off. They take a sample of his blood back to W&H to inspect it in hope of finding out just who this mystery warrior may be.

What’s up with Wesley: He’s doing his thing, looking up old Aztec Warrior legends and cross-referencing all kinds of stuff. Spike becomes uncharacteristically interested in books all of the sudden and asks Wes about the Shanshu Prophesy that will one day make a vampire with a soul into a real boy after he lives through an apocalyptic battle. Spike fancies it just might be him - he’s faced the apocalypse head on. Despite the distractions Wesley is able to come up with an answer. Their demon is called Tezcatcatl, he’s an ancient Aztec Warrior who was killed off by the 5 Brothers the last time he came around. Of the five brothers only one escaped the battle with his life. Coincidentally he’s the mail guy Angel just canned. Lucky for them they know his address!

What’s up with Numero Cinco (that’s Number 5 to you): Angel shows up at Number 5’s apartment to find out what he and his bros did to get rid of Tezcatcatl. Number 5 is reluctant to help - he’s over the whole life of a champion thing and recalls happier times for Angel, times with his brothers in the WWF. Children worshiped them, women loved them and men wanted to be them. They were undefeated in the ring. But all their battles were not fought in the ring. They banded together to protect the weak and help the helpless (this sounds awfully familiar to Angel). Unfortunately Number 5 has a hard time recalling their last battle, the one against Tezcatcatl, as it was the one that took his brothers from him. Fat lot of good that does us in the now. Shortly after his brothers were killed Number 5 was hired by Wolfram & Hart. Now he’s cranky and a little bitter that his brother’s souls never come and visit. Doesn’t seem so miffed about the pink slip thing though.

What’s up with Gunn: The guys mull over the victims of Tezcatcatl and what they may or may not have in common. Turns out all the warrior’s victims were heroes during their lifetime. He needs the hearts of heroes in order to sustain his own life. Angel soon learns that Tezcatcatl is coming after heroes first hand when the Warrior attacks him. But the strangest thing happens. Just as Tezcatcatl is about to go in for the heart, he thinks again and leaves Angel to wonder…what the…?

Angel tells the gang back at W&H that he feels rejected. But Wes and Gunn explain that the demon wants the heart for the meat not the metaphor. Not much comfort for our favorite hero. Meanwhile Gunn checks the W&H files for mystical deals to see if he can’t dig up something on our man Tezcatcatl. Turns out a shaman cut a deal allowing the warrior to return every 50 years on the Mexican Day of the Dead in order to find a Sun God Talisman which will make him ultra-powerful. The hearts were just to sustain him between years. The gang quickly realize that Number 5 must have the dreaded Talisman!

How does it all wrap up: Wesley believes that the reason Tezcatcatl didn’t want Angel’s heart is because his heart hasn’t been into the work much these days. Spike told him that Angel no longer believed in the Shanshu Prophesy. Unfortunately hope is all they really have and that’s exactly what is going to keep Angel from becoming bitter and reclusive like Number 5.

Angel heads to the cemetery looking for Number 5 and the Talisman before Tezcatcatl arrives. Number 5 is hanging at the graves of his long lost brothers and tells Angel he’s swallowed the Talisman in order for the warrior to kill him (he’s not so much the hero these days so he can’t be sure he’ll go for him without bait). This way he can be with his brothers again. Naturally, Angel simply can not make it that easy for him. While Angel battles Tezcatcatl, Number 5 jumps in and gets stabbed. He immediately smears his blood on the headstones of his brothers. This summons the old, dead wrestlers who crawl out of their graves (masks and all) and take over the fight. They end up pinning Tezcatcatl and Angel stakes him once and for all. Dead Aztec Warrior.

As it turns out, the Talisman was in the coffee thermos the whole time. Number 5 reveals this just before he perishes from his wounds. He joins his brothers on the other side.

Back at Wolfram & Hart Angel tells the gang that Number 5 died a hero and he calls it a day. He retires with a little light reading - the Shanshu Prophesy, English Translation.

Lesson learned. Our hero is back