Anthony Head

J-Man doesn’t want to IMAGINE ME & YOU again! Hey folks, Harry here... Sadly J-Man is here to tell us that IMAGINE ME & YOU is just not really up to par. Sounds like a suburban romantic comedy lesbian version of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN with none of the heart, soul or elegance of that film. Oh well, they can’t all be homeruns!

Hi all at AICN land. J-Man, here. Just caught a preview of the new romantic comedy IMAGINE ME & YOU, starring Piper Perabo, and one word sums it up nicely: trite.

Lemme explain. Rachel (Perabo), on the day of her wedding to Hector (Mathew Goode), spots Luce (Lena Headey), the flower girl, across the room and falls in love. The rest of the movie will be spent with Rachel going back and forth on her feelings for her new husband and this new woman.

One problem — right off the bat, there’s no chemistry between the two women. None. Could it be because in the very first scene we see Rachel sitting on her bed in the early morning, staring at her alarm clock, knowing it’s the big day and too happy to sleep? Or, that she seems perfectly ALREADY in love with her husband/"best friend"? Take your pick. Either way, when they first officially meet at the punch bowl, there’s no connection.

Now, Rachel obviously can’t get this woman out of her pretty head, but it just isn’t a palpable attraction. More like an itch she’s got to scratch, and 95-minutes devoted to that is making too big a deal, if you ask me. Luce herself keeps avoiding the issue ("never wreck a couple"), and that ought to be the last of it, walk away, on with the show... but, the film keeps force feeding these characters to us with kid gloves. I’m all about girl/girl relationships, but I’ve never been more thoroughly unengaged in a couple than I was here. Not for lack of trying; both actresses are quite fetching and yummy. But, this Rachel chick simply should not be having doubts about her sexuality or marriage, or anything.. except that a writer wrote her that way.

And, don’t even get me started on how everyone just steps aside toward the end and rolls out the red carpet for them. Sheesh.

Plusses: the kid with all kinds of questions, like "When do fish sleep?" and "Why is the alphabet in that order?" Coop (Darren Boyd), who calls lesbians "vagitarians", and has the best line in the movie, "Later on tonight, we’re gonna fall madly into bed." I could watch a whole movie based on his character.

That’s about it, though. Repetitive and blase. Rent JESSICA STEIN, instead.