Click on the link :

http://www.myheritage.com

Web site says my face is only 68 percent Bacon

I had a college girlfriend who once said I looked Tom Cruise.

She was obviously delusional (it was probably a mild form of hysteria induced by dating me).

As you can see by checking out the mug shot floating somewhere on this page, I don’t look anything like Cruise - he’s much shorter than I am. The point is that you can relate to this story. You’ve probably been physically compared to celebs like Cruise, his fiancee Katie Holmes, macho actor Lee Marvin, or the world’s fastest female Florence Griffith-Joyner some time in your life.

Because we live in a society saturated with celebrities, approximating the physical value of a lover, friend or random mall walker is done mostly by determining what celebrity most resembles their profiles.

This is why my high school career was spent dodging comparisons to Kevin Costner and the older, less attractive brother on "Blossom." It’s also why my ego still cries every time I see Costner swimming through "Waterworld" or Joey Lawrence (the good looking brother on "Blossom") when he finds time to crawl out of obscurity. Personally, I always thought I looked like Billy Baldwin minus the greased hair. Our pouty lips and strong masseters are indistinguishable.

It turns out I’m way off base. But so were the 253 people who called me Costner Junior. According to www.myheritage.com, the celebrity who most looks like me is ... Kevin Bacon.

Even though it may prove your self perception is ineffective, myheritage.com is unbiased and uses face mapping technology along with unflinching efficiency of mathematics to determine what celebrities you really do look like.

The process is easy. Simply go to the Web site, work your way through a brief but annoying registration process, upload a photo and cross your fingers. Within seconds, the page will map your facial features, compare them to the structure of famous folks and show you similar profiles.

That’s how I was given the unfortunate information of looking 68 percent similar to Kevin Bacon. Since I long called Bacon "ugly" - he looks like a human/bat hybrid - I’m probably a closet self-loather.

Aside from Bacon, the algorithms say the celebrity I look the second most similar to is European soccer star Ruud Van Nistelrooy. We’re 56 percent similar. I can live with this. Ruud is a hunky, deadly striker for Manchester United’s feared team.

After Ruud comes the late member of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Graham Chapman (55 percent). And Sarah Michelle Gellar (51 percent).

Gellar’s name was especially startling. I’ve been crushing on SMG since 1997. Obviously, this means I’m a major narcissist searching for love in those who remind me of myself. It’s worth noting that the Web site also says my co-worker Janna Farley looks like Gellar. This makes me think SMG resembles one-fifth of the world’s population.

Other celebrities who kind of look like me include video game programmer John Carmack (51 percent) and Vilfredo Pareto, a 19th century Italian economist.

I’m also 45 percent similar to two rock stars. One is alive and sneering, Mick Jagger, and the other dead, Dimebag Darrell. And there are two actors with faces my mom could love: Bollywood bombshell Saif Ali Khan (46 percent) and the late tap-shoe-ace-turned-mediocre-actor Gregory Hines (45 percent).

What does all this mean aside from giving you a great excuse to waste time at work? Not much, except that I’ll soon be suing Bacon for likeness rights.