Buffy The Vampire Slayer

I was going to write an article this week about the filmed disappointments of Joss Whedon. When I scratched that, I was going to go in depth about my affection for the character of Oz. However, as of right now, the airing of the final episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is exactly one week away.

This really hit me on Sunday in a splash of pressure that forced a small, salty flood of tears out from my tear ducts. I was flipping through the TV Guide and I came across a capsule plot summary of the second-to-last episode "End Of Days". The sight of this, part one of the two-part series finale, really forced me into reflecting upon years past.

Later that same day, I was reading Entertainment Weekly and a photo caught my eye. It was a photo of Joss Whedon and Sarah Michelle Gellar (who doesn’t get nearly as much credit as she deserves in this column) hugging after filming the last ever scene of the show. This photo was proof positive that the show is truly over, even though I remember when it began like it was yesterday.

I was destined to be a Buffy fanatic. It’s something of a tradition I set for myself a long time ago that every year on my birthday, I would go to the movies. On my birthday in 1992, there wasn’t really anything out that I wanted to see, so I let my sister choose the movie. My sister, a massive Beverly Hills 90210 fan, chose the latest Luke Perry vehicle, Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

I was fascinated by the movie. Technically, it wasn’t impressing, and even a bit ham-fisted in parts. Also, many of the performances were pretty atrocious. However, there was something about the mythology of the character that intrigued me.

Then, the film was quickly erased from movie theaters, and erased from my mind in the process.

Cut to five years later:

I saw an advertisement for a new television version of Buffy. I chuckled to myself and shook my head. Man, I thought. Where have all the creative ideas gone? Little did I know...

For some reason, I decided to watch it. I don’t really remember why. Perhaps there was nothing else on. Maybe those Taster’s Choice commercials were so good that I decided to see if Anthony Stewart Head could really act. But, for whatever reason, I watched it. And for seven years, I’ve never missed a single episode.

For seven years, I returned through thick and thin. I watched it paired with 7th Heaven, Dawson’s Creek, Angel, Haunted, and now Platinum. I was there for the double-night extravaganza that was "Surprise/Innocence". I watched through the botched scheduling of season three, as the WB didn’t air the season finale until late July, and saved "Earshot" for mid-September, the week before season four began. I watched the massive advertising blitz behind "Hush" ("28 minutes of silence"). I watched regular characters added and taken away from the cast. I watched characters that I felt connected to die in endlessly creative ways. I watched the spin-off. I saw the title character die. Both times. I watched as the show switched channels. I saw the fans betray it in season six. And next week, I will watch it end. And I’ve loved every moment of it.

Never once did the show suck. Never once was I watching mindless escapist entertainment as I watched it. It was consistently thought provoking. I was always moved by it. I’ve cried at twelve different episodes. Next week, that number will have increased by one.

Good or bad, Buffy The Vampire Slayer is a part of me. I haven’t spent a day in the past seven years of my life without thinking about it. These are strong words with truth to them.

This is a shorter article than usual because I’m speechless. Buffy is a major part of my life, and as it dies out, so does an important piece of me.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Buffy The Vampire Slayer is the best television show ever created. But it transcends television. It’s too important. Buffy The Vampire Slayer is the one thing, the one constant that has affected my life more than anything else. Buffy is life. And life is about to end.

And without further ado, here is my special list of every Buffy episode (up to "Touched") from my favorite to my least favorite. And the most amazing part of it is this: There isn’t a single truly bad episode on here. I love each and every one. This is just the order that I love them in:

1. The Body 2. Restless 3. Hush 4. Becoming Part Two 5. Becoming Part One 6. The Gift 7. Once More With Feeling 8. Graduation Day Part Two 9. Innocence 10. The Wish 11. Earshot 12. Passion 13. Welcome To The Hellmouth/The Harvest 14. Prophecy Girl 15. Graduation Day Part One 16. Fool For Love 17. Primeval 18. Lessons 19. The Prom 20. Lover’s Walk 21. Two To Go/Grave 22. Angel 23. Conversations With Dead People 24. Halloween 25. The Freshman 26. Lies My Parents Told Me 27. Dirty Girls 28. Seeing Red 29. Lie To Me 30. Storyteller 31. Wild At Heart 32. Never Leave Me 33. Showtime 34. Villains 35. Normal Again 36. What’s My Line Part Two 37. When She Was Bad 38. Help 39. Amends 40. Bad Girls 41. Choices 42. The Pack 43. Beneath You 44. Bargaining (Parts One and Two) 45. Blood Ties 46. Who Are You? 47. Selfless 48. School Hard 49. First Date 50. Dead Things 51. Living Conditions 52. Crush 53. Into The Woods 54. Dopplegangland 55. Touched 56. Him 57. The Killer In Me 58. Bring On The Night 59. Entropy 60. Consequences 61. Ted 62. I Only Have Eyes For You 63. Surprise 64. The Yoko Factor 65. New Moon Rising 66. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered 67. Sleeper 68. Life Serial 69. Teacher’s Pet 70. Helpless 71. Empty Places 72. Same Time, Same Place 73. Listening To Fear 74. Homecoming 75. No Place Like Home 76. Potential 77. Smashed 78. Enemies 79. Dead Man’s Party 80. The Weight Of The World 81. Faith, Hope, and Trick 82. Older and Far Away 83. Revelations 84. Forever 85. The Dark Age 86. Spiral 87. After Life 88. The Zeppo 89. Anne 90. Get It Done 91. Bad Eggs 92. Nightmares 93. Intervention 94. Wrecked 95. This Year’s Girl 96. Shadow 97. Superstar 98. Goodbye, Iowa 99. I Was Made To Love You 100. Gone 101. As You Were 102. Out Of My Mind 103. The Harsh Light Of Day 104. Tabula Rasa 105. Band Candy 106. All The Way 107. Real Me 108. Family 109. Hell’s Bells 110. Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight 111. The Initiative 112. Buffy Vs. Dracula 113. Never Kill A Boy On The First Date 114. Phases 115. Checkpoint 116. Something Blue 117. Where The Wild Things Are 118. Tough Love 119. Beauty and The Beasts 120. Go Fish 121. Inca Mummy Girl 122. Flooded 123. Doomed 124. A New Man 125. What’s My Line Part One 126. The Replacement 127. The I In Team 128. Some Assembly Required 129. The Puppet Show 130. Gingerbread 131. Fear, Itself 132. Reptile Boy 133. DoubleMeat Palace 134. I Robot, You Jane 135. Pangs 136. Killed By Death 137. Triangle 138. Beer Bad

Okay. This is MY list. You all can state your opinions, but please, Please, PLEASE!!! Do not disparage my opinions. Some episodes that may have left some of you cold might have really hit home for me. This is my list. Feel free to state yours without calling me an idiot or something. Thank you.