Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (circa May 23, 2000):

BUFFY: We’re not demons. THE MAN WHO WOULD BE ADAM: Is that a fact? THE FIRST SLAYER: You think you know. What’s to come. What you are. You haven’t even begun. Buffy 7.15 FAQ What’s it called? "Get It Done."

Who’s responsible? Teleplay is credited to Douglas Petrie ("Beneath You"), who also directs.

What did Herc say about this one in his Jan. 24 "Buffy" spoilers? "Spike defends Anya against an agent of her former boss. Kennedy is promoted to psuedo-watcher. Via an artifact left behind by a slain slayer, Buffy travels to prehistoric times, where she meets the first watchers. As the installment ends, Buffy learns she’s ’the last slayer’ - and we’re only two episodes away from Faith’s return to Sunnydale …"

What does TV Guide say? "Desperate for a way to curtail the First, Buffy embarks on a perilous quest for knowledge while, back at the Summers house, the Scoobies are rocked by tragedy within their ranks. Chao-Ahn: Kristy Wu. Amanda: Sarah Hagan. Kennedy: Iyari Limon. Vi: Felicia Day. Molly: Clara Bryant. Andrew: Tom Lenk."

The slain slayer who leaves behind the artifact? Was it Wood’s mom Nikki? It was.

The big news? Buffy and all the slayers between Nikki and Buffy were supposed to have inherited the artifact. Wood kept it because he couldn’t bear to part with his mother’s things.

The bigger news? Buffy doesn’t learn she’s the "last slayer"; she learns she’s "the hellmouth’s last guardian." (In defense of Herc’s sources, though, it should be pointed out that this dialogue is subtitled and could have been altered after the episode was shot.)

The biggest news? Buffy is back, baby. The season has bounced up from its mid-season doldrums with another stellar installment. This one’s got not only the laughs, but also the sad and the scary and the scads of special effects.

What else is TV Guide not telling us? The First is already beginning to exert its influence on the Sunnydale High student body. "Third fight this week, and it’s just getting worse," frets Principal Wood. "Plus, a rise in vandalism. Three students missing. Tell me something, Buffy. In your professional opinion, it’s started, hasn’t it?"

How exactly does Buffy travel back to prehistoric times? When Nikki’s artifact is assembled, a portal opens. (There’s some evidence, by the way, that Buffy actually travels to a dimension resembling prehistoric times, rather than to actual prehistoric times. For one thing, the first slayer isn’t around. For another, the proto-watchers seem to live in the here-and-now. "We have been here since the beginning. Now we are almost at the end," they tell Buffy. On the other hand, a few minutes later the same fellows announce, "We are at the beginning." So who’s to say?)

We’ve heard that the potential Chloe commits suicide. Is this the tragedy that rocks Scooby ranks? It is. And this would be the sad.

Does Principal Wood stake Spike? No, but he does get to ask Spike a lot of pointed questions. Like, "Nice coat. Where’d you get it?" (The elaborate 100-second "previously" clip-package at episode’s start reminds us of where Spike got it.)

How many "potential guys" are there this week? At least 17!! (Kennedy is good enough to line them up in neat rows for easy counting.)

Have Willow and Kennedy progressed beyond smoochage? There must be something like 25 people bunking out at Casa del Summers these days, and we do fleetingly see two sleeping girls sharing a bed. Are they Willow and Kennedy? Certainly not beyond the realm of possibility.

Why wasn’t Chloe around three weeks ago? Was she helping Giles pick up the Asian slayerette? No light is shed on this matter.

Is Giles off collecting more potentials? Giles is not around this week, and if they explained where he is, I missed it. But the presence of 17 potentials suggests someone’s been a busy boy.

Does Anya reward Spike? Does she reward him with sex? Not this week. But one senses she wouldn’t mind.

What’re Xander and Dawn up to? Not much. Dawnie is charged with assembling Nikki’s artifact.

Any Nerds of Doom action? Andrew is again very funny this week, still sorting out his role among the growing Scooby Army.

What’s good? What we can only assume is the artful foreshadowing. Anya, all cute and extra-horny. Andrew’s entrance. The slayerette army in general and Kennedy’s D.I. demeanor in particular. Willow’s "quick thinking" in front of Wood. "’Repelled him’ would perhaps be the better phrase." T.T.F.N. Buffy’s speech, and the horrified reactions it elicits. "Those are muppets." The artifact. "It’s not in Sumarian anymore." Kennedy’s line about what Spike "does best." "The magics, not the pants thing." Spike dusting off the duster, and his reconnect with other old habits. To say nothing of the match struck on demon’s head. Gellar’s reading of, "I knew it. It’s always the staff." The final shot, so evocative of many designed by Peter Jackson.

What’s not so good? Buffy encouraging Willow toward the stronger magic seems to fly in the face of the addiction metaphor that dominated Ms. Rosenberg’s story arc last season; isn’t this kinda like telling a methodone user to switch back to heroin? And Buffy’s leap into the portal seemed a tad impetuous, as did her turn-down of the demon dust.

How does it end, spoiler-boy? "Why, Buffy?" Willow asks. "What did you see? What did they show you?"

Herc’s rating for "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" 7.15? **** The Hercules T. Strong Rating System: ***** better than we deserve **** better than most motion pictures *** actually worth your valuable time ** as horrible as most stuff on TV * makes you quietly pray for bulletins How come you haven’t reported that news about Eliza Dushku starring in a new "Buffy" spinoff? For the same reason the New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Variety, The Hollywood Reporter and every other legit source hasn’t reported it. The initial report was unsourced and printed in something called the London Express. It seems to be based on an old, unsourced and perhaps bogus rumor that Dushku had been offered a "Buffy" spinoff but had yet to decide if she wanted to accept. The Express report was picked up by BBC Online, which was picked up by the Internet Movie Database (IMDb). But we’ve heard no confirmation from studio 20th Century Fox, producer Mutant Enemy or network UPN that Sarah Michelle Gellar is officially leaving the series or that UPN has greenlit a replacement spinoff. (But we’ll learn soon enough.)

8 p.m. Tuesday. UPN.