Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Okay, I am going to try to be as ship-neutral as I can here, though my Spuffy bias is pretty well-known. And I’m sure that I’ll probably fail miserably, but bear with me here.

"Lies My Parents Told Me" is not a shipper episode, at all. It’s about independent choices, and making ethical decisions for oneself. It’s about growing up, and taking responsibility instead of passing off that responsibility onto someone else. We all have to make our own choices, and face the consequences of our own actions, whether we turn out to be right, wrong, or misguided. There’s a point at which one has to come to one’s own conclusions, and neither blaming nor relying upon others will work any more.

This episode brings up ethical questions that have been debated for a long time, and that can never really be resolved. At what point is it conscionable to kill someone who is a perceived "liability"? When does one cross the line from justifiable vengeance into sadistic cruelty? What is the correct balance between power, responsibility, and compassion? And does one have to feel guilty over a past that was beyond one’s control, if one has truly changed?

Spike, Buffy, Giles, And Wood are all right in some ways, and in some ways they are all wrong. And none of them is really either redeemed or irredeemable.

Wood seeks vengeance upon Spike for the murder of his mother, and that is understandable. His methodology is what makes him questionable - in order to justify his actions in brutally beating Spike with the attempt to make Spike physically pay for what he has done, he sets off Spike’s trigger and reduces him to something he’s really not. While Wood believes that the monster is still part of the man, even he cannot reconcile himself to killing the souled being, and has to resort to other means just so he can exact retribution.

Giles makes a good point about liabilities and the ends justifying the means. His analogy of manipulated Spike to Ben is a good one. However, killing Ben was a decision borne of necessity, and this action to kill Spike is premeditated and possibly harmful. He refuses to see Buffy’s point of view that the trigger can be dealt with and Spike is a strong ally who will be needed in defeating the First. His betrayal is going behind her back and doing something "for her own good". This is what Buffy steps away from.

Spike manages to come to terms with himself in this episode, to register what the soul means and does not mean. He argues that Slayers and vampires know the score, and that is basically the way of the world. It’s kill or be killed. Is he right? Perhaps. While he does not make the distinction that I do, that killing Nikki out of self-defense is different than deliberately seeking her out to kill her, he also accepts responsibility for the fact that he killed her and destroyed Wood’s life. How much should he have to pay for that? His acknowledgement that he did damage to Wood is in the fact that he does not, after all, kill him. But he’s not going to put up with being beaten down again, either.

Buffy’s decisions are left as being the most inconclusive. Does being a Slayer mean what Spike says it does - adhering to the mission and only allowing oneself to love to a certain extent? Does it mean that she would let Dawn die this time around? We don’t know. What we do know, is that she is not going to allow Giles to make those decisions for her, nor is she going to allow personal conflicts to get in the way of what she perceives as best. She’s truly an adult here. Yes, she chooses Spike over Giles, but it’s not in a shipper way, to me (I’ll leave the potential for a ship out of this). What she is really doing is choosing what she thinks is right over what Giles thinks is right.

Giles tells Buffy that it’s time to stop playing general and start acting like one. The irony is that she does - it’s just not in the way that Giles perceived it.

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SPIKE REVISITS HIS PAST IN AN ATTEMPT TO DISCOVER WHAT HAS BEEN MAKING HIM "VAMP" OUT, ON "BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER," TUESDAY, MARCH 25

"Lies My Parents Told Me" - As Spike struggles with haunting memories of his past, Giles returns with a device that he hopes will find and deactivate the trigger in Spike’s subconscious that The First is using to make him "vamp" out, on BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, Tuesday, March 25 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on UPN. David Fury directed the episode from a script written by Fury and Drew Goddard.

Meanwhile, Willow embarks on a mysterious journey as Buffy and Giles quarrel over his teachings.

Buffy Summers Sarah Michelle Gellar Xander Harris Nicholas Brendon Anya Emma Caulfield Dawn Summers Michelle Trachtenberg Spike James Marsters Willow Rosenberg Alyson Hannigan Rupert Giles Anthony Stewart Head Principal Wood DB Woodside Andrew Tom Lenk Molly Clara Bryant Kennedy Iyari Limon Rona Indigo Mikki K D Aubert Anne Caroline Lagerfelt