Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy trips and falls in a mud puddle, Anya cleans a fireplace, Dawn takes up fingerpainting, Willow experiments with magic tar, Xander watches.

Picking up where "Lies" left off, Buffy follows Spike down into the basement. Spike is pissed because of what Robin did to him, but mentions that he did have a nice aftershave on. Buffy begins to question him on the brand and calls up to Xander to come downstairs. Xander comes down and allows Spike to sniff him, but says no, "He smells like a new window." Xander goes back upstairs as Buffy sits next to Spike about the elusive smell, wondering if they shouldn’t just go and ask Robin what kind of after shave he was wearing. Spike doesn’t wish to embarass himself further, especially after the whole "I seem to have bitten you in the neck" thing.

On a darkened highway, a Yugo drives down the road. Inside, Willow and Faith attempt to talk, but don’t have enough room inside the tiny vehicle to open their mouths. Willow uses telapathy to listen to Faith bitch about the sucky ride. Willow threatens to go Dark, which makes Faith start to laugh, which makes the entire car shake and they swerve off the road, heading straight for a tree...

Opening credits: Eliza Dusku is added to the credits, along with Iyari Limon, Tom Lenk, Clara Byrant, Sarah Hagan, Indigo, Kristy Wu, DB Woodside, Felicia Day, and Camden Toy as "Super-uber-dubervamp." Credits now take 10 minutes.

Night-time at a grocery store, Xander and Anya are stocking supplies based on a list the SIT’s gave them. They push a cart full of multiple jars of marshmallow fluff and Chocolate chip cookies. They talk lightly about the apocolypse coming yet again and reminice about the last apocolypse, and the one before that. Apparently end-of-the-world talk turns them on and they start necking in the frozen food isle, but just then they stop, hearing a jittery voice from the next isle, screaming for "TP" for someone named Cornholio.

On the side of the highway, Willow and Faith walk away from the wrecked Yugo and down the road. Faith says it was lucky of them to have the one Yugo in the world that not only had two airbags, but to have them inflate big enough to blow them out the back window. Willow turns to her and tells her to shut up, she has a headache.

Still night-time on a Sunnydale town street, Buffy and Spike walk, looking for a specific shop. Buffy asks if he’s ok, but he says the scent that Wood was wearing is driving him nuts. Buffy tries to get him to talk about the disarming of the trigger, which Spike says "Yep, it’s gone." They stop in front of a darkened store with the sign "The Body Shop" and, picking the lock, Spike and the Slayer sneak inside.

In the Summer’s living room, many SIT’s sit around, whooping up a storm, drinking Jello shots, throwing pork crisps, and listening to Limp Bizkit. Dawn comes in from the kitchen, looking quite tired and frustraited, carrying a pizza box. Vi grabs it from her and the SIT’s dig in hungrily as Rona orders the "key-girl" to get them some napkins cause they’re not animals. Walking into the kitchen alone and sad, Dawn screams to herself "get out Get Out GET OUT!" which prompts Molly to shout "shut the hell up, Harriet" from the living room.

Commercial Break: Windex tastes real GOOD!

Still on the highway, Willow and Faith walk. Faith asks the time. Willow holds her wrist up silently and Faith reads it’s 3:30 in the morning. They continue walking.

Xander and Anya peek around the corner of the endcap to see two teen boys opening bottles of Jolt Cola. One giggles almost absentmindedly as he hands the pop bottles to the other, who chugs them down one after another. He is shaking violently and speaking in some strange tounge that Anya has never heard before. The two boys start to walk out of the store and Anya and Xander follow, wondering out of nowhere if it is yet another form of the First. They remember seeing both boys touch things, declare the world safe, and go back to necking. Video security cameras pick up the hot action as the store employees plot to sell the tape to "Caught on Tape."

"This one?" Buffy asks as she holds up a cologne bottle to Spike’s nose. Spike leans on the counter in the smelly store, almost bored. "Nope." he says. Buffy grabs another and opens it. "This one?" "Nope" he answers.

Upstairs in the washroom, Andrew cowers alone, fearing the rowdyness of the SIT’s downstairs. Warren/The First appears and tells him to grow a spine, asking him if the Lone Gunmen would ever act like this? Andrew says yes they would. Warren/The First asks if Anakin would ever act like this? Andrew asks Episode One or Two Anakin. The First says it probably wouldn’t matter, they’re both wusses. Warren/The First sits on the toilet and starts to list off names "Gary Gygax? No... Twiki? No..." Andrew gets bored, leaning against the sink as the First tries to come up with someone cool who wouldn’t cower in the bathroom like that.

Meanwhile downstairs, Dawn is now wearing a collar and chain as the SIT’s have strapped her to a tea cart and have Dawn pulling them around the house like a horse and carrage as they shout "I am Sparticus!"

"How about this one?" Buffy holds another bottle up. "Well, it’s kinda like that, but more Oceany" Spike answers.

(it is at this point that FOX News broke with Breaking News that Saddam Hussein may or may not be dead, they’re not quite sure, and that the war with Iraq would probably be over now if they had just asked Stone Cold Steve Austin if he could open a can of Whoop-ass up on them.)

Grrr... Arrrg... Orrrg... Glurrrk...

It’s 1st April Joke of course !