Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Q. I’ve heard that there are a lot of famous Mormon vampires. Are there? Where does this idea come from?

Answer: Interesting question. The short of answer is that, no, there aren’t a lot of famous Mormon vampires, although there are some famous Mormons who are sort of vampires and some famous vampires who are sort of Mormon. But to say that there are a "lot of Mormon vampires" would seem to be an exaggeration. Mainly this is because vampires aren’t real. (Well, for the most part.)

Let’s examine where the myth of famous Mormon vampires might have come from. It is true that there are many famous Mormons. Most people know that among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) there are many famous inventors (such as the inventors of television, the hearing aid, the Browning rifle, the word processor, DOOM, etc.), famous scientists, famous politicians, athletes, businessmen, directors, singers, etc. There’s even at least one famous Mormon train robber: Butch Cassidy (although he wasn’t very devout).

It’s natural to assume that there are some famous Mormon vampires. But this simply isn’t the case. In fact, there are very few (if any) famous vampires of any denomination. Vampires are very secretive. If the general public has actually heard of a vampire, the vampire is probably not real but is either a) a fictional vampire, or b) a fake vampire.

Nevertheless, there are some people who come close to being famous Mormon vampires, who may be the basis for the rumors.

Eliza Dushku (a.k.a. "Faith" on Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The character Moloch is, of course, not Latter-day Saint, but the actor that plays him is yet another Latter-day Saint actor on the Buffy series. Anne Rice

Anne Rice is, of course, the world’s most famous living vampire novelist (because Bram Stoker is dead). The thing about Ms. Rice, though, is she’s not really a vampire. When her publicists say "vampire novelist," they mean she writes about vampires. It’s true that Ms. Rice also lives like a vampire, and decorates her Gothic New Orleans mansion as if it were the abode of a vampire. But it’s just for show.

Also, Anne Rice isn’t Mormon. Where did that part of the rumor come from? Well, Ms. Rice did invite MTV’s Mormon missionary and Real World star Julie Stoffer over for dinner on the classic Mardi Gras 2000 episode. Julie probably invited Ms. Rice to church with her. But even if she went, she didn’t convert. So Anne Rice is definitely not a famous Mormon vampire.

J. Gordon Melton

Dr. Melton is one of the world’s most respected comparative religion scholars. He is the author of the indispensible Encyclopedia of American Religion. Melton also writes extensively and enthusiastically about vampires, and attends popular vampire events, dressed in full vampire regalia. He is the author of The Vampire Book; Vampires on Video and Vampire Gallery : A Who’s Who of the Undead. He probably is a vampire, at least partially. But Melton is not a Mormon. Although his articles about Mormonism are appreciated by Mormons for their accuracy and fairness, it is well known that Melton is a minister in the United Methodist Church. (So he could be added to the "Famous Methodist Vampires" list.)

Count Dracula

The archetypal vampire lord immortalized by Bram Stoker’s novel may be history’s most famous vampire. But was he Mormon? Well, Church genealogical records prove conclusively that Dracula was not born Mormon. Although it is likely that missionaries tracted out his castle, and he may have taken the discussions, there is no evidence that Dracula ever joined the Church. This is not surprising, as he had a nasty addiction to tea.

The Count (Sesame Street)

No, no, no, no! The Count is indeed a famous vampire. But he is NOT Mormon! The characters on Sesame Street are not all Mormon. (One of the Telly Tubbies is a Mormon, but that’s another matter entirely.)

Donny and Marie Osmond

Well, they kind of look like vampires. But they’re not.

Blade

Blade is the Marvel comic book character played on the big screen by Wesley Snipes. Sure, he looks Mormon, and another black Marvel character is Mormon, but Blade is not. ("Bishop" of the X-Men is probably Mormon, hence his nickname — he used to be a Mormon bishop. The Falcon is another Marvel character who is not actually Mormon, although he acts like he is.) Besides, it doesn’t matter whether or not Blade is Mormon. He’s NOT a vampire. He’s a vampire HUNTER! Big difference! (Even if he’s part vampire, he’s certainly not a practicing vampire.)

Alice Cooper

Famous? Yes (he’s an aging shock rocker). Mormon? Well... Sorry to disappoint, but it appears that’s a long-standing myth. He’s actually the son of a Southern Baptist preacher. But he is a vampire, if that’s any consolation!

Ed Decker

Frequently debunked hate-meister and "Evangelical" apologist Ed Decker is definitely a Mormon vampire. But he’s not very famous.

On April 1st, 2002 (hmm... interesting date), we received the following email message from Jackal (thjackal@yahoo.com), posted here with the correspondent’s permission:

If a celebrity were in fact a vampire, do you really think that they would just come out and admit it? Would you? For example, in the article, you used the example of Eliza Dushku, saying "It should be emphasized that Eliza Dushku isn’t really a "famous Mormon vampire" because she’s NOT a vampire. She plays a vampire slayer on TV." How does the fact that she plays a vampire slayer on TV emphasize that she is not a vampire? How do you know? Wait let me guess with this small scenario. Well it’s not really a scenario. But I’m sure you know all this stuff because you’re God... Or maybe you like following young celebrities around when they don’t know and making assumptions about them based on the little bit of their lives that you see when they walk from their door to their mailbox while you hide in the bushes.

I myself am not saying that Eliza Dushku is a vampire, but I’m not going to say that she isn’t either. How can anyone possibly know if she doesn’t want them to?

If you do not believe in vampires, that is ok. You should. We are closer than you think.