Buffy The Vampire Slayer

If you read fanfic, you probably know what slash is. For those of you who don’t, or are new to the concepts of fanfic, allow me to give you a lesson. Slash is, as defined by Wikipedia: “Slash fiction is a type of fan fiction in which one or more media characters is involved in a homosexual relationship as a primary plot element. These gay pairings are often described in great detail, and largely occur outside the canon of the source. The name arises from the use of the slash character used in the description of the primary pairing involved in the story, as opposed to the ampersand that was conventionally used for ’friendship’ fiction.”

Here is a list I’ve compiled to detail the twelve slashiest couples in the science fiction/fantasy fandom.

12) Kirk/Spock (Star Trek)

Let’s face it, these two started it all back in the 60s & 70s-without them, we‘d be stuck with forlorn love stories and radiant Mary Sues. While I’m not a fan of the Original Series (don‘t stone me to death for it!), I still can admit they had chemistry together. Even through Kirk’s endless womanizing, and Spock’s disapproving eyebrow arches, slashers knew these guys were soul, err, katra mates.

11) Simon/Mal or Jayne (Firefly/Serenity)

Even though Mal loves Inara, even though Simon loves Kaylee, and even though Jayne loves his grenades, slashers still manage to get boys together. The adorable little doc Simon seems to be evenly paired between Mal and Jayne (the man-skank!), so it’s really hard to pick one over the other. If you were Simon, why would you want to?

10) Cyclops/Wolverine (X-Men)

You can’t swing a dead cat within the X-fandom without hitting this pairing at least seven thousand times. Scott Summers is the stoic, anal-retentive leader of the X-Men. Logan is the wild card, lone wolf who lusts after Scott’s fiancée. Because of their polar opposite personalities, the only thing these two can manage is a good tongue lashing. And crude claw gestures. Would the basis of this relationship be “opposites attract“ or “you know what you guys fighting REALLY means?”

09) John/Rodney (Stargate: Atlantis) As a Canadian friend of mine would say, “pure, homegrown snark!” John Sheppard and Dr. Rodney McKay’s playful, yet juvenile repartee shows a childish affection towards the other. Yet, when in danger, these two will risk life and limb to save the other. What’s a healthier relationship than name-calling and life saving?

08) Bashir/Garak (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

The primero couple of DS9 wasn’t Odo/Kira, Worf/Dax, or even Sisko/Yates. No, no. It was the station’s arrogant young Dr. Julian Bashir and resident spy-in-exile Elim Garak. Their friendship stared out as simple lunch every week, mixed in with espionage innuendo, then eventually turned into the two saving the future of the Federation and Cardassian Empire. Talk about an epic (love) story.

07) Chakotay/Paris (Star Trek: Voyager)

Ah, what would slash be without its Star Trek founding father? What makes this pairing higher than Kirk/Spock and Bashir/Garak, you ask? Why the fact that these two started out hating each other. Then, in the very first episode, Paris saves Chakotay’s life (again with the life-saving!). Yet, the bitter attitude stays around even though Chakotay serves as “bodyguard” for Tom Paris. I shutter at imagery of Chakotay carrying Paris out of a room while singing, “I Will Always Love You.”

06) Mulder/Krycek (The X-Files)

You know how when you get fed up with your significant other, and you say, “I could just kill ‘em for that!” Well, in this lovely little dysfunctional couplet, both have tried. And then some. ‘Cos, drama makes for some good lovin!’ Krycek killed Scully’s sister, thinking that it was her (‘cos that Scully woman was in his way) and Mulder’s father (‘cos no one really likes their in-laws) and attempted to kill Mulder’s real father (though, I don’t think Mulder would have minded Krycek offing that guy). Yet, through all their boiled hatred for one another, Krycek still keeps ol’ Spooky guessing by switching sides every now and again.

05) Clark/Lex (Smallville)

Bitter rivals. Hmm. Am I starting to see a trend here? Lex Luthor and Clark Kent are about as bitter as chalk flavored ice cream. These two have been at each other’s throats since before your parents’ time! Clark Kent is the simple country boy from Smallville, Kansa, while Alexander Luthor is the refined billionaire from Metropolis. Yet, in the Smallville incarnation of the Superman legacy, these two did not meet when Kent became a reporter at the Daily Planet, but in high school. Opposite personalities, bitter rivals, and high school angst. Somehow, I think they’d win, “Cutest Couple” in the high school yearbook.

04) LotR Guys (The Lord of the Rings)

There are so many slash overtones running around Middle Earth, it’s hard to limit it to one couple. Whoever your favorite LotR couple is, put it here! 03) Angel/Spike (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer/Angel)

Opposite personalities? Check. Bitter rivals? Check. Feuding over a similar lover? Double check. High school angst? Triple check. What makes this couplet far more interesting than the ones lower on the list, is that even though Angel and Spike are bitter enemies, they still are almost always on the same side. Whether it’s season 2 of Buffy or season 5 of Angel, they always manage to join together for a gay ol’ time. These two would have been the best of friends if not for Drusilla or Buffy. And, the interesting thing about this couple-they’re the only one on the list to (canonically) have intercourse with one another.

02) Jack/Daniel (Stargate SG1)

How can one describe one of slashdom’s most acclaimed couples in a mere paragraph? Or rather, a word? Simple. Chemistry. Besides the characters’ overtly opposite personalities, it is the actors that make this pairing work so well. The little things like Jack pushing Daniel’s glasses up or Daniel looking annoyed at Jack’s bemusement. They don’t need high drama to make their togetherness interesting. It’s already there.

01) Jim/Blair (The Sentinel)

How is it possible that Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg outdid Jack O’Neill and Daniel Jackson, you ask? Why, they were a couple-they just didn’t know it. Blair would get kidnapped, and then Jim had to go rescue him. Jim would get angry, and then Blair would have to calm him down. They lived together for goodness sakes. Plus, this is the only show where the fans created a fanfic series devoted to their romantic relationship with weekly online episodes. Can’t get gayer than that, folks. So, what has this list taught us about slash fiction? Opposite personalities attract? Bitter rivals make for good drama? Chemistry is the key? Not at all! Hot guys make for the greatest slash couples. Thank you, and good night!