Buffy The Vampire Slayer

I was in the single digits throughout most of the ’90s (I’m 21 now), and with a strict upbringing, I was never allowed to watch too much television, which meant that I missed out on some classics that a lot of people grew up with. So, during my summer internship at Television Without Pity, my bosses asked me to watch some classic ’90s shows that I had never seen before. And let me tell you, after watching these pilots, I’ve concluded that the fashion in the ’90s was not good to young folks, and I’m glad I was too young to have been a victim of shoulder pads, big hair, platforms and the misuse of jean jackets. But I digress. Here is my take on these modern classics:

1. "Beverly Hills, 90210"

This pilot was definitely entertaining, and the only downer was that it was in two parts, and combined, it was 93 minutes long. That’s an hour and a half. So many things happened in this one episode that it’s hard to think what other issues are left to tackle. But anyway, we saw lots of high-end luxury cars, high school valet parking (!), Tori Spelling pre-fame, how to get a fake ID with just a pencil, underage drinking, some jailbait action, an awkward dinner date, some foreplay in a Jacuzzi, and lots of rebellious teenager angst. The character with the most over-the-top ridiculous storyline was Brenda. How is it possible to get into a club with a penciled-in fake and hook up with a 25-year-old as a junior in high school? It’s wrong on so many levels. Oh, and her attempt to define a black hole was both hilarious and incredibly cringe-worthy. I think I dislike Brenda the most. Her wanting to fit in so badly, so desperately, just made me want to shake some sense into her. Regardless, it’s crazy to think I’ve never watched an episode of "90210" before this, and now I can’t wait to watch more of the original.

2. "My So-Called Life"

I was in kindergarten when this show first aired, so unfortunately, 1) I didn’t know this show even existed and 2) even if I had known, I was too young to understand what was going on. Good thing my bosses brought to my attention the underage drinking, rule-breaking, angry dyed hair job, parental issues, awkward pubescent moments, the young love for dumb boys who lean well, and all the rebellious teenager angst that is this show. As far as pilots go, I thought it was engaging and there were relevant teen issues that I could definitely relate to... from five-ish years ago. There’s just something about terrible high school clichés that I’m drawn to, and it was interesting to witness the rebel act from a former good girl. But anyway, I had to take some marks off for the emo-like, profound, "school is a battlefield for your heart" moments that Angela too often had in this one episode. And combined with the slow-mo walking and equally slow ’80s music, it was almost unbearable, even painful to sit through.

3. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

"Buffy" is incredibly different from all the you’re-a-hot-vampire-I-love-you storylines circulating the shows these days. The vampires on "Buffy" are not hot. Their faces are all contorted and scary and not pretty, and their only interest in humans is for blood, which will ultimately help the devil rise again... at the mouth of Hell. Umm so, after seeing this pilot, I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for Bill Compton on "True Blood" and all the nice, human-loving vampires out there. Overall, I was disappointed with the "Buffy" pilot, but maybe that’s because I built it up in my head. It was really slow in the beginning. There was a whole lot of fighting and very little of anything else. Plus, there’s that awful cliffhanger in the end where we don’t know whether Buffy will die, but we all know she won’t because she is the name of the show. Buffy is awesome and Willow is adorable, but I don’t think I’m hooked. Maybe it’s because there’s only so much of the vampire fighting and Buffy-saves-the-day-yet-again sequences that I can take before it just gets really old.

4. "Dawson’s Creek"

The first episode jumped right into the main issues really quickly. I can already distinguish the main plot points in the season, like Dawson’s mom and her love affair with her co-anchor, that illegal student-teacher romance that will probably lead to statutory rape, and there’s going to be a whole lot of drama with the new girl who comes between Joey and Dawson’s friendship. I mean, it’s fairly obvious that Dawson’s "perfect, fairytale" life is about to fall apart. He sure got the conflict he’s been searching for. All in all, a good first episode. But since this is an emotional tumultuous time for the teens in this coming-of-age drama, there are some awkward moments worth mentioning: Pacey’s adorable one-liner, "Are you looking for romance tonight?" when he hits on his English teacher, Dawson’s attempt to hold hands with Jen at the movies and subsequently, the awkward end-of-the-night failure of a kiss, and then there were all the moments when Katie Holmes added her two-cents that were so unfitting that I swear I even blushed. Let’s hope it gets better.

5. "Freaks and Geeks"

Although the pilot was very slow and nothing really happened except for Lindsay saving Eli and her younger brother from recurring bullies (I did not realize how scarily intense dodge ball was), I still thought it was awesome. If hanging out with James Franco, Seth Rogen and Jason Segel means being a freak, then I’m so there. I don’t really know what the show is about aside from being a freak or a geek in high school, but we’ll see if it gets more interesting later. I loved the ending when everyone is having fun at the Homecoming dance, and Sam dances with his crush Cindy (by the way, Sam and his geeky friends are so adorable). It’s really hard to think of anything bad about the pilot, but then again, I’m a little biased because James Franco is such a hottie, and I hope he gets a lot more screen time.