Buffy The Vampire Slayer

4) Sarah Michelle Gellar

in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (1997-2003)

I got to see Ms. Gellar in person once. I was working at a movie theater in Santa Monica, CA, and she came to see some action blockbuster. To tie it into an above entry, I think it was “Con Air.” I didn’t talk to her at all, but she did pass within a few feet of me. She was tiny. Like, very tiny. Practically wispy. She looked as if a strong exhalation could push her against the wall. Sarah Michelle Gellar, I learn is 5’4” Plus she’s skinny as a rail. Yeah, she’s small.

And yet, she was chosen as the ass-kicking lead of the cult TV series “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” From what I understand, the show’s title was the central joke of the series, casting a pretty blonde hometown cheerleader as the unexpected inheritor of Vampire Slayer status. Talking to some of its fans, I learn that the show quickly became somewhat convoluted, once the heroine graduated high school, but I think the effect was the same, as you still has a pretty, skinny blonde stabbing monsters.

That little creature could not stab a monster. Maybe she could jump on its back and pound lightly on its head with her fists, but unless the vampire is resting in a coffin, and she had a good long windup on the mallet, I don’t see her being able to actually drive a stake into a creature of the night. I know Gellar did have much martial arts training for the role, and did a lot of physically arduous chores to get in shape for the role. But, sorry fans, she just doesn’t look like she could take down a vampire.

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