Every December I’m burdened with a slew of leftover interview snippets that I think deserve to be read. Problem is, they don’t fit in anywhere. They’re islands unto themselves. And so, in my last column of the year, I offer an archipelago of quotes culled from conversations with the famous and not-so-famous. Bring on the new year; I feel better already.

Christopher Meloni (actor, "Law & Order: SVU"), on having the best derriere on prime-time TV: "A gay gentleman saw me in Starbucks the other day. And he told one of the crew members, ’Oh, my God, I was standing behind the beloved Melonis yesterday at Starbucks.’ The crew member asked, ’What, Chris was there with his family?’ And the guy said, ’No, darling, I’m talking about the left Meloni and the right Meloni.’ That’s me. The beloved Melonis."

Joss Whedon (creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"), on the power of the Internet: "I’m counting on the Internet to destroy the music industry. That’s its first job. Then I’d like to see it take on the movie world. I would have lived on the Internet as a kid. I would have been not me, which is what I wanted to be all my life."

Ian McDiarmid (Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious, "Star Wars"), on whether his character eats beans on toast for breakfast: "Hm. You never see him eating, do you? He might have a pill for everything. He’s not much of a sensualist. He just enjoys seeing others fail. He enjoys winning; he’s obsessed with winning. There’s something about malevolence that’s very satisfying for him."

Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, "Star Wars"), on why George Lucas thought he’d be a great killer: "I wonder, because when I met with him I was trying to be on my best behavior. ... The fact that he saw a dark side in that was pretty discerning. I mean, I’m a nice guy, but of course I have a dark side. I grew up listening to Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails."

Trent Reznor (singer, Nine Inch Nails): "Music has been so bad lately — greed led to all the cool record companies selling their souls to corporations for a big paycheck. Now it’s not the maverick record company president who calls the shots, it’s the accountant. It’s about quarterly profits and pop clone acts and over-hyped ironic rock bands and disposable hip-hop artists. Everything sounds the same."

Courtney Love (chanteuse), on the Paris Hilton Epoch: "The lithe skinniness of her is lost on me. Eras are always defined by women, and Britney was really offensive and really right wing, but this one is devoid of everything. There are a lot of things downtown that say ’rock’ or ’punk’ on them, and a few years ago kids would be wearing ’porn star’ on their boobs. There are more designer jeans than there were in the ’70s. There are references referencing references. Little jeans signifiers. I’m not going to worry about what the signifiers mean. I’m old. I just need jeans."

Sarah Silverman (comedian), on Courtney Love: "Jimmy (Kimmel) and I are both so sad for her. She really is smart, but I think her brain just floods so fast she can’t keep up with it. She’s had some things done to her face, too, hasn’t she? Yeah. I don’t believe in plastic surgery unless it’s vaginal rejuvenation."

Gregg Araki (director, "Doom Generation," "Mysterious Skin"), on his cinematic soul: "My movies are always about outsiders and amorphous sexuality and the tight bond between homosexual men and heterosexual women." (And here I thought they were just about pretty boys ... ah, but I’m shallow, shallow.)

Gus Van Sant (director, "Good Will Hunting," "My Own Private Idaho"), on his depictions of gay sexuality on film: "In some ways, they’re just ordinary scenes except they’re homosexual as opposed to heterosexual. They’re scenes of gratuitous affection. They aren’t really meant to be questioned. When the male football player kisses a girl in the hall, no one ever mentions it; no one asks why they did that. They just accept it."

Love, on Los Angeles Child Protective Services: "It’s run by a hysterical modality of women with terrible body images."

Silverman, pondering: "How do you bond with a mouse?"

Neva Chonin (interviewer), answering: "Carefully."

Aaaand that’s all, folks. Have a jolly one.