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Denverpost.com Characters we’d like to see meet the Grim Reaper (charisma carpenter mention)Wednesday 5 April 2006, by Webmaster Murder is cruel but necessary when you’re a writer. This is especially true for television scribes who must occasionally knock off characters with the calculated detachment of a hired gun. Whether for better ratings or inevitable attrition, death comes to many a plot on TV. Here are casualties the Grim Reaper writers might select with their scythes this season. Paul Young (Mark Moses) "Desperate Housewives," Sundays, ABC. Death knell: Mary Alice’s widower, Paul, can only avert death so many times. He’s done it at least twice, but everyone’s luck runs out eventually. Besides, how else will Mike the plumber (James Denton) and his son, Zach, (Cody Kasch) ever become a family? Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) "24," Mondays, Fox. Death knell: Rajskub adds a lot to the storyline on "24" as a talented and trusted techie. Although she narrowly escaped death at the start of the season, she is a nuisance to the bad guys and knows a lot of secrets. Like Steven Seagal in a bad USA cable matinee, Chloe always is marked for death. Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) "The Sopranos," Sundays, HBO. Death knell: Is it just us or is Paulie a particularly evil and cranky capo this season? His bad behavior could catch up with Mr. Walnuts, who works for an unforgiving Tony and could have arguably bit the big one a few seasons ago, in the wilderness, with the Russian. Kendall Casablancas (Charisma Carpenter) "Veronica Mars," Wednesdays (moving to Tuesday nights April 11), UPN. Death knell: Beaver and Dick’s gold-digging stepmom has no purpose now that Duncan is in Mexico and Logan has a steady girl of sorts. This makes Kendall a prime candidate for a tragic and deadly car accident. Capt. Jim Brass (Paul Guilfoyle) "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," Thursdays, CBS. Death knell: Brass has had problems since he accidentally shot and killed a fellow boy in blue. If he were to, say, get drunk and do something fatal enough to meet his maker and get the CSIs to investigate his death, this forensic drama would kill in the ratings. John Winchester (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) "Supernatural," Thursdays, WB. Death knell: This barely there dad recently appeared only to tell his sons that he loves them, before disappearing again. Daddy John easily could do the same as a ghost. Ted (Josh Radnor) "How I Met Your Mother," Mondays, CBS. Death knell: Ted, the milquetoast leading man, is the most boring character on the show and it’s his story. This character needs to be exterminated or drastically demoted to narration duty. Joe Fontana (Dennis Farina) "Law & Order," Wednesdays, NBC. Death knell: No matter how he tries, Fontana just doesn’t nail the zingers the way Lennie did. Besides, TV cops are not Energizer bunnies and must succumb to death or retirement; having your character move on to the great beyond is a far better ratings booster. Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) "Lost," Wednesdays, ABC. Death knell: With all those characters there is always room for a little natural editing. Charlie, the former rocker haunted by drug addiction and Claire-rejection, is a prime candidate for a drowning or freak attack by the Others, despite last week’s preview of a hallucinating Hurley. |