Here’s a holiday poser: Where are you going to take your 12 kids this half-term to keep the little brats happy and occupied?

Well, if Disneyland Paris is out of your price range, time scale or simply gives you the hee-bee gee-bees, you could do worse than take any sprogs in your charge to see Steve Martin’s latest dose of family-friendly fluff.

To be honest, you don’t even need to have a single screaming shrimp to placate in order to enjoy Martin’s latest unchallenging fun-fest.

The grey-bonced gook’s nightmare dirty dozen kiddos will, more likely, have you thumbing the Yellow Pages for the nearest vasectomy clinic.

Or if that’s a bit drastic, perhaps you’d be better off going to clock Jack Black and his under-12s axe heroes in School Of Rock.

Not as much of a wheeze as, say, Martin’s Parenthood. But amid the sledgehammer hi-jinks and on-a-plate (or often off it, at meal times) comic chaos there are some amusing turns.

Demi Moore’s boy-faced squeeze Ashton Kutcher, in particular, and Smallville teenthrob Tom Welling will maintain the attention span of your Bliss and Sugar readers giggling in the back row.

And if you put your pointless jarring cynicism on hold for an hour and half, you’ll enjoy it too.

Oh go on, be a devil - just this once.

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