David Boreanaz

Three babysitters and one pot dealer sounds like the perfect recipe for excitement. It isn’t.

Bob Clark’s "Porky’s" remains one of the highest grossing films in Canadian history, suggesting that our neighbors to the North are perfectly capable of whipping up a successful teenage sex farce. You’d never know it, though, watching "These Girls," a frustratingly dull romp notable mostly for providing evidence of why "Bones" and "Angel" star David Boreanaz has a long way to go before he becomes a big screen leading man.

Based on the play by Vivienne Laxdal, John Hazlett’s adaptation of "These Girls" takes an invariably wacky premise and drains it of all spice. Filmed in New Brunswick, the story revolves around three small-town girls killing the last summer between high school and adulthood. The story is awkwardly narrated by uninspired Keira (Caroline Dhavernas in full-on "Wonderfalls" deadpan), as she recounts the adventures she shared with friends Glory, a domestically obsessed vixen played by Canadian VJ Amanda Walsh, and Christian-college-bound Lisa (Holly Lewis). When Keira and Lisa discover that Glory is having an affair with local hunk and pot-dealer Keith (Boreanaz), they decide they want a piece of the attractive older man. Their solution? Share the object of their affections. It’s kind of a stupid idea for the girls from minute one and even Keith quickly realizes that having a rotation of nubile teenage girlfriends isn’t nearly as fun as he might hope.

The challenge, I guess, is figuring out how "These Girls" could have been written and directed to come across as a story of female empowerment. Their control over this absurd situation would be more interesting if the movie offered any good reason for why these three gals would set up the central sharing plan or if Laxdal or Hazlett had come up with any creative way to extricate everybody.

Keith is so very boring a character and Boreanaz is so very miscast — appearing opposite a selection of actresses too old for their parts, he comes across as too young — that the allure that the women feel for him makes little sense beyond the superficial. Hazlett tries to shoot Boreanaz in variable stages of undress as much as possible, but even the actor seems confused as to whether his character is a victim, a villain or just a lump of desirable manflesh. Boreanaz’s television work has suggested he can do better than this.

The three actresses also give one-dimensional performances, with Dhavernas relying on her laconic charm, Lewis going for cartoonish goofball and Walsh, probably most effective, playing variable degrees of emotionally raw.

Hazlett never establishes a comic rhythm, as he’s hamstrung by a script that still feels mighty stagebound. The visuals are flat and indie-standard and despite Boreanaz’s beefcake presence and few tame trysts, there isn’t a second that counts as even teasingly sexy.

New on DVD after eschewing a theatrical run, "The Girls" hits shelves without any bonus features.

STUDIO: Allumination FilmWorks LLC

RELEASE DATE: May 16

RATING: R

PRICE: $24.99

TIME: 90 minutes