Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Evangeline Lilly had the nerve recently to ask for more money per episode on her Lost contract, even though she makes more than anyone else on the show (except Matthew Fox) and even though her character Kate is by far the most irritating character on that show by a landslide. This prompted me to think back over my years of TV-watching to compile the list of most unduly annoying characters to ever exist on the small screen.

1. Fran Fine (The Nanny)

It wasn’t just the voice that drove me crazy. OK, it was mostly the voice. But it was also the laugh. Good god, that laugh still haunts my nightmares. Fran Drescher’s performance as the brassy and grating employee of Mr. Sheffield drove us completely bananas, but somehow people liked her and kept the show on for six seasons. (Who these people are is not clear.)

2. Ross (Friends)

Nothing annoys me more than when a smart guy is really, really stupid. And not in that geeky, socially awkward Big Bang Theory kind of way, in the I wonder how that person manages to function on a daily basis and why anyone would be friends with him kind of way. While Chandler’s ex-girlfriend Janice got under my skin with her screechy voice (see: The Nanny) Ross’s regularly idiotic behavior was far, far, more obnoxious.

3. Screech (Saved by the Bell)

Speaking of socially awkward, let’s talk about Screech for a minute. He was a brown-nosing suck-up who just desperately wanted to be one of the cool kids, but who’s ridiculous plots and schemes often ended up causing more problems than solving them. With a friend like Screech, who needs an enemy? Between him and snorty-inept nerd Urkel, we’d much, much rather be locked in a room with the suspender-sporter (though not Urkel’s alter ego Stephon, he’s slimy). At least he’s got some killer dance moves. What’s Screech got? Extra hall passes from the insanely tolerant Mr. Belding?

4. Kimmy Gibbler (Full House)

When compiling this list, I asked for suggestions from some of my fellow co-workers. Full House was on everyone’s list, but it was pretty much evenly torn between ever-present and badly dressed neighbor Kimmy Gibbler, and unfunny comedian Uncle Joey. My deciding vote went to Kimmy, because she was a neighbor. While Joey and his "Cut. It. Out" shtick wore thin early on, Kimmy wasn’t even part of the family. She was just a friend, and sometimes not even that, but she was always around and very vividly dressed.

5. Kate (Lost)

Normally I’m a all about sexy murderous women who are on the lam and stop at nothing to get what they want. Those are my favorite kind of characters. But Kate makes that classic archetype look weak and pouty. She makes bad decisions, always seems so put upon and spends her time finding new and unusual ways to get into trouble and pit Jack and Sawyer against each other. Woe is Kate. Woe is us.

6. Ally McBeal (Ally McBeal)

She got stuck in a toilet. She hallucinated dancing babies. She couldn’t get her life together. But yet, she expected people to trust her with their legal woes? It is a good thing those micro-miniskirts distracted the judges because this infant in an adult body should not have been allowed out of the house without supervision.

7. Cousin Oliver (The Brady Bunch)

The original TV annoyance. This obnoxious character was brought in to up the cuteness factor when the original full house of kids hit puberty and lost their adorableness. This towheaded tot was whiny (a major offense) and unnecessary. He’ll probably be on every list of annoying TV characters from now to the end of time.

8. Carrie (Sex and the City)

This was another one that stirred some debate here in the office. Some thought that Charlotte and her constant crying and whining were suicide inducing. But Carrie won this by a landslide with her self-centered behavior and her inability to ever behave like a grown up, despite the fact that she was in her 30’s. At the end of the day, indecisiveness is far more obnoxious than weeping.

9. Dawn (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

She’s not even Buffy’s real sister. Instead, she’s just the most irksome teen (who isn’t human and is really just a mystical key in human form) on the planet. The monks that created her apparently were too busy trying to hide her to worry about creating someone who wasn’t obnoxious and incapable. And dumb. Let’s not forget how she made some of the most moronic and misguided decisions ever just because she didn’t get her way.

10. Sookie (Gilmore Girls)

No one can really just be so happy-go-lucky all the time. She’s not as stupid as some of the folks on this list, but her irrational exuberance for life is hard to take. And she’s basically the equivalent of Whitney on The Hills just around to help move the story forward. Perhaps if she’d regularly been given more to do than just ask Lorelai what was happening and offering up pastries and coffee, she would have been more well liked.