Drew Goddard says: (Sat Feb 1 06:02:44 2003) [Edit/Delete]

Hey gang,

Can’t stay and talk, so save your "Sweet Drew Goddard, I bow at your knee and worship your every move-s" for another time. Just wanted to do a quick drive-by because I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve decided that spoilers are bad.

Now, I know I’m not saying anything new here. I’m realistic. Let’s face it - those of you who read spoilers aren’t going to stop just because I tell you not to. So I’ve decided to come here and make you all an offer. Here it is:

Anyone who can remain spoiler-free for the rest of the season - all the way through the finale - will be immediately and passionately French-kissed by me.

That’s right - I will French-kiss anyone, woman or man, who can avoid spoilers for the rest of the year.

Ho ho. How does that sound? May want to think twice before clicking on your spoilerslayers or your cross-and-stakes or your whatevers now, won’t you?

I mean, ol’ U. D. is gonna French-kiss the hell out of you if you’re good. That’s a sweet deal. I mean, it’s just five months, spoiler-free…

And seriously, I’m an awesome Frencher. And for the rest of your life, you’ll be able to tell everyone we Frenched.

Nice.

Now, I know I’ve been off the radar for a while, but they’ve been working us hard here in the coal-mines, so please forgive me. As soon as I’m done working on this script, which should be next week sometime, I’ll be back for a good round of Hose Down the Slip-and-Slide (what the hell does that even mean? Sorry - it’s late.)

But in the meantime, the offer’s on the table. Hey - if you want to look at spoilers now, it’s up to you, but man, you’re gonna be missing out.

To my Minions, well, I love and treasure you all. I honestly don’t tell you that enough. You know… come to think of it… I don’t give you enough free stuff either. In fact, let’s have some sort of contest. Dachelle, do you want to judge a contest for me? I’m thinking a "Praise Goddard" Contest. The rules are as such: the object of the contest is to praise me in the best way possible. Entries can be in the form of a song, a poem, a sculpture, a t-shirt, a painting, an interpretative dance… really, the sky’s the limit on this, okay? Whatever the hell you can think of. Top three entries get a bunch of cool Buffy stuff.

We’ll figure out the logistics of it all next week (Dachelle, I’m gonna get a hold of you next week anyway - sorry it’s taken me so long.) But in the meantime, start thinking of those entries.

I like this contest. It celebrates the very spirit upon which this group was founded in the first place - praise and worship of me. Ol’ U.D.

And don’t forget about that French-kiss deal, either. How ’bout that? Tonight’s turning out to be real sweet for everyone involved. Real sweet, I tell you.

Don’t doubt the clout.

Ultimate Drew