Angel

Beginning of transcript :

Here’s the transcript of the first segment that was on E ! News Live. It took me forever to get this done, so I decided to post this now before I get to the second part.

Feel free to copy this and post it anywhere else.

BTW, Kristin would be Kristin Veitch from E ! Also, this isn’t 100% word for word, since everyone was talking at the same time. Everyone was very energetic, laughing and joking the whole time, so I might have missed a few words here and there. But I got as much as I could after listening to each sentence like 10 times each to get everything as correct as possible.

Kristin : Hey you guys ! (Dave is standing behind her, waving at the camera) I am here on the set of "Angel", which as you know is one of my favorite shows.

Dave : Oh yeah ? What happened last week ?

Kristin : Oh. Um, yeah, well, I don’t think we have enough time to get quite involved with details, but you can quiz my "Angel" knowledge later on.

Dave : The biggest thing about it is Spike is back. (waves James over)

Kristin : Spike is back !

Dave : He’s back in Angel’s universe right now.

James : Makin’ trouble.

Dave : We’re very excited we have him back and actually tonight’s episode is the end of a two-parter where we see him come back and things are gonna get real crazy.

Kristin : Angel’s already getting crazy. I can tell ya, when we walked in, there were ninjas flying through the air.

Dave : We’re actually setting up a stunt-

Kristin : There’s some crazy stuff going on here.

Dave : We’re setting up a stunt right now. As you can see, J. August Richards is in the back there (points to J., who is standing on top of the stairs, talking to a stunt-type person), he plays Gunn, and, uh, they’re rehearsing a stunt where two ninja guys are flying him back. Here’s Sparky. (grabs Sparky, who I guess is the stunt coordinator). Come over here, Sparky ! (Dave pulls him in front of the camera) Sparky here takes care of all the good stuff in life. (He tickles Sparky, who nearly falls on the ground, then he breaks free and runs back to where he was before).

Kristin : (To James) Tell me about the set though. Because this is insane.

James : Mmm Hmm. Yeah, isn’t it ?

Kristin : Because when I came here last year, you had two soundstages, and this is so much bigger. And I’m sorry, much more impressive than what you had before.

Dave : Well, you get two sound-

Kristin : You guys are like the Jeffersons, you’re movin’ on up-

James : You can fit all of Sunnydale in this one room.

Dave : If you get two soundstages, they give you two extra ones. It’s a deal at Paramount.

Kristin : (laughing) Oh really ?

Dave : Yeah, it’s one of those things.

Kristin : Two for one deal.

Dave : Yeah, two for one.

James : If you last five years, they give you-

Dave : We’re kinda in the main lobby. These are the two elevators into the main lobby that open up. My office is back there, I’ll show you that later on. But this is the main hub of the evil of the Wolfram and Hart offices.

Kristin : Eeeeevil.

Dave : As you can see, there’s a lot of activity going on here right now. Jefferson Kibbee here is the director, he’s setting up the shot. (Camera goes to Jefferson, and JM seems to have disappeared). Very, very important shot of the day. And as you can see, he wore some special socks for everybody. (Dave bends down and pulls up one of Jefferson’s pant legs, showing a rainbow-striped sock).

Kristin : Very stylish, very nice.

Dave : And his shirt. Very expensive shirt. Very talented director.

Kristin : So, show us over here, there’s some kind of mat here.

(at the base of the stairs, there’s a pile of athletic mats)

Dave : Well, they’re setting up a stunt as you can see here. Stunt guys here, they’re getting ready. (points to a stunt guy, sitting on the stairs)

Kristin : One of the ninjas, I’m thinking.

Dave : (shakes stunt guy’s hand) One of the ninjas, yeah. He’s got a hood...

Stunt guy : But I don’t have nice socks.

Kristin : Right. Unfortunately. yes..

Dave : And there’s J, over here. (camera pans to the reception desk area of the set). What’s going on, man ?

J : (J and David shake hands) What’s going on, man ?

Dave : He’s getting ready for a stunt. Getting ready to do some backflips.

Kristin : You were getting ready to fly through the air over there, right ?

J : I was, yes. I got a little coordination to get together. I just kick him (points in the direction of the stairs where the stuntman is) off the top and he goes flying.

Dave : They have to figure it all out.

Kristin : Right, right, right. Do you ever get hurt doing these stunts ?

J : No, I never get hurt, but these guys might get a little hurt (pointing in the direction of the stairs again). So, not me.

Kristin : So, they take the knocks for you ?

J : They- Absolutely, absolutely.

Kristin : Now you guys, you’re on Wednesday nights still.

Dave : 9 o’clock

Kristin : And "Smallville" is after you.

Dave : No, before us.

Kristin : Before you, that’s right. And last week was actually an amazing week for you guys. You had like five million viewers, so that’s very cool.

Dave : Yeah, we did real well. We’re excited. It’s a good lead-in for us and we’re excited.

Kristin : How does this season feel for you guys ? It’s obviously taken a new direction-

Dave : How does it feel- James ! (David and J. beckon to James to get back in front of the camera).

James : Feels goooood.

Dave : Doesn’t it feel good to get out of Sunnydale ?

James : Yeah. No, seriously-

Kristin : This is probably a big change for you. I mean, coming from "Buffy" over to here. And yet you’ve worked with David before.

James : This is a guy set. This is a guys set. I like it.

Kristin : Did he give you any tips when you first got here ?

James : (To David) I’m not gonna get you in trouble. You’re a total gentleman dude. Anyway, what ?

Kristin : Did he give you any tips when you first came over ?

James : Did you ? No... yes ! Yes you did ! As a matter of fact, yeah. I was doing that one episode that was all heavy and I came, and I was all trashed, and I came to you. "How do you do it, man ? Week after week, being the lead ?" And you were like, "Horse racing." And I was like, "Oh, yeah, okay." (pretends to walk away).

Dave : (looking kinda jokey-embarrassed) Erase this. (Changing the subject). Let’s continue to go straight down... and there’s Ross Barrymore. (points to the other side of the set). He just became a United States citizen, he’s out DP, ladies and gentlemen. (Kristin claps and congratulates him). And this guy, here. Right here. (Goes to guy standing next to Ross and rubs his head). Messy hair ! He tests the pads out to make sure they’re nice and steady on the falls.

And then Kristin ends the segment here.

End of Part 1

Start of Part 1

*David and Kristin are standing in Angel’s office, in front of the window.*

Kristin : Yeah, you guys, we’re in downtown L.A. right now. Through the magic of television. Can you believe it ?

Dave : Wow. What a trip that was1 My God !

Kristin : Actually, not really. We’re still in Hollywood. On the set. We’ll be coming back with the whole cast. (not really Kristin ! Where the hell are Andy and Alexis anyways ?)

Dave : It’ll be fun.

*commercial break*

Kristin : Hey you guys, I’m right now in Angel’s office.

Dave : (sitting at his desk) Oh wow !

Kristin : I’m sure I’m making lots of female viewers jealous sitting right on his desk.

Dave : Very strong desk. Made out of oak.

Kristin : This is where it all happens. This is the magic. He’s now running a law firm.

Dave : (laughing) On the desk. This is where it all happens. Things come alive on the desk. You have noooo idea. (you can hear JM go "woo !" off camera)

Kristin : I’m sure at some point in the season, that will happen.

Dave : It did already !

Kristin : Did it ?

Dave : It’s gonna start happening in a little bit, too.

Kristin : Little teaser of things to come. We have some nice weaponry on the walls, and we have some other nice props over here. (Camera pans around to JM, Amy, and J). Some very lifelike creatures.

Dave : Props ! You guys have become props !

James : It’s okay, man. As long as the checks don’t bounce, prop me up.

Kristin : Tell me the truth you guys. This guy, he’s new. What’s the deal with him ?

James : They’re pickin’ on me.

Kristin : Give us the dirt, man. Is it just like, annoying, having him on set ?

James : Hazing. One word : hazing.

Amy : He sort of fits in. I don’t know. We’re starting to like him. (she hugs JM)

J : No no no.

Kristin : Come on, you have to do some hazing.

J : No hazing. We’re happy to have him join our cast.

Dave : J ! J’s Mr. Lawyer now. He makes "The Practice" look really unbelievably crazy. He’s got all the dialog now.

J : That’s right. That’s right.

Kristin : You have some insane lines.

Dave : Exposition hell !

J : Crazy dialog, man. It’s hard to remember all that stuff. But you know, we try.

Kristin : Are you saying that stuff in your sleep now ?

J : Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. I think I really could go to court right now and win somebody some money. So, you need somebody, I’m right here.

Kristin : So, just to recap here. You’re now a lawyer.

J : Yes.

Kristin : (To Amy) You’re... we’re seeing... we’re seeing your sort of bad ass side now. Which I love.

Dave : (quoting Fred) "Pull it together, people !"

Kristin : And Spike, I don’t know what the hell is going on with you. You were in hell, now you’re back, you’re a ghost, you’re walking through walls. Are we ever, like, going to see you be physical again ?

James : I really hope so !

Kristin : And if so, are Angel and Spike gonna fight ?

James : I hope not. ’Cuz I’ll lose.

Kristin : You think so ?

James : Well, yeah. Have you seen my office ? My office is a little smaller than this.

Dave : It doesn’t exist !

James : It doesn’t have all the wood.

Dave : He wants one in the next episode.

Kristin : It’s sort of the invisible office.

James : Yeah. I got a trash can over on stage seven.

Kristin : You know, I heard a rumor that you were going to be doing a nude scene this season. Is that true ?

James : I already did, yeah.

Kristin : Now that’s something to look forward to. How about the rest of you ? Everybody stripping down this season ?

J : No no no.

Dave : I was naked.

J : Oh that’s right. You were.

Dave : I did a scene right behind that leather couch over there. I had nothing on. It was crazy.

Amy : All nude all the time on "Angel".

Kristin : That was like, the new revamping of the show, right ?

James : Mm Hm. Gratuitous nudity.

Kristin : Gaining a cast member, losing the clothes. Works for me.

James : We save money this way.

Dave : Yeah.

Kristin : Okay, you guys. Be straight with us, give me something. What’s coming up ? What can we look forward to ?

Dave : Big, big surprises.

Kristin : I want something good.

Dave : Well you know, we have that two-parter that’s coming out tonight. The end of that, which kinda corporealizes or doesn’t corporealize Spike altogether. And we’re gonna see it in the next couple of episodes. We’re gonna have a big showdown, the two of us.

Kristin : Oooh We like that.

Dave : There’s some prophecies and stuff.

James : Nasty sex. You’ve got some nasty sex coming up. I got some nasty sex coming up.

Dave : Crazy Halloween episode.

James : End of the world happening.

Dave : We got cats. Big cats in white rooms. J is battling this cat. We got theories and theorems. Amy, tell us a theory !

Amy laughs.

J : Come on. Just one.

Amy : I can’t remember any !

Dave : "Work the problem people !" Recap of episode one, "Work the problem, people ! Dammit !"

And this is where it ends. Kristin sums everything up and sends it back to the E ! studios.

Faiths note : I remember it ending different, but maybe that’s just me. It’s a good job either way.