Buffy The Vampire Slayer

They do have medicinal marijuana in Canada. Why do you ask ?

06 October 2003

Yes, it’s a great headline and - perhaps you think - a cheap way to make Australians pay attention to Canadian politics. But read on, because you’re about to discover a truly great moment in political campaigning that will be remembered for years to come.

First, some background.

For the last eight years, the Canadian province of Ontario has had a most un-Canadian government. Headed first by Mike Harris and more recently Ernie Eves, a Progressive Conservative (yes, that is a real party name) government has taken a leaf out of American politics with a slash and burn approach to public finances, cutting services, but importantly for getting re-elected, delivering big tax cuts.

This has gone down a treat with the Toronto version of John Howard’s "aspirational" voters. Dubbed the "905 belt" after a local telephone zone, these outer suburban Torontans responded warmly to the PC’s and their promise of tax cuts in 1995.

After five years of a New Democrat government (think of a cross between Labor union left and the Australian Democrats - but no Cheryl gags, please), Toronto voters jumped at a bit of fiscal cutting-back. They even re-elected Harris in 1999.

But four more years down the track, more promises of tax cuts seem to wearing thin in an electorate increasingly concerned about declining government services. The huge local impact of the SARS outbreak - not to mention the recent power blackouts that spilled across the border into the US of A - has highlighted problems with government services.

And then there were the stunts of new Premier Ernie Eves. Having previously been finance minister to Harris, the desperate fight to retain office seemed to loosen his former fiscal rectitude. Out went the sale of the hydroelectric assets, and deregulating electricity prices suddenly disappeared from the agenda when it was realised they would yo-yo up and down depending on demand.

Finally, there was a strange stunt where Eves announced the budget at a press conference, rather than front the legislature - not the sort of thing the supporters of a conservative party, even a Progressive Conservative Party, go for.

Now, Eves and the PCs have been swept out in a landslide. The new Premier is Liberal Dalton McGuinty. (Where do Canadians get these wonderful, sturdy frontier names - Lester Pearson, Lloyd Axworthy, Dalton McGuinty ? They just roll of the tongue with old-fashioned Canadian solidity. But back to the headline.)

Eves was always facing political oblivion, but in one of the worst political stunts we can think of, at the start of the campaign his office issued a press release describing McGuinty as an "evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet". A bit strong as a political attack you might think, and certainly a bit hard to justify.

Well, Liberals couldn’t resist making fun of it throughout the campaign. T-shirts with the slogan "We may be kitten-eaters but we want change" became common in the Liberal campaign. The kitten-eater slur completely ruined the attack adverts the PCs launched against McGuinty, focussing attention on the government’s own lack of program.

How did it happen ?

Three days after it enlivened the campaign, the Toronto Globe & Mail - Canada’s leading paper - described the bungle as the result of "a collective catnap in the Progressive Conservative Party’s war room".

"The backroomers earned a reputation in the past two elections for their astute sense of impending danger, but this time failed to realize that the misstep would become a major news story.

"The faux pas, which may have cost the Tories at least one of their nine lives, started last Friday on the media desk of the party’s headquarters…"

And so the puns continued as the Globe told how a bit of primal scream therapy for stressed campaign aides ended up being released.

But "an evil, reptilian kitten-eater from another planet" ? Where did the line come from ?

For that detail, we have to thank the researches of Sonia Verma, a journalist with the rival Toronto star. She know here pop culture :

"Until yesterday, the only known evil reptilian kitten eater from another planet went by the name of Clem the Demon," Verma reported.

"That was before allegedly bored, over-caffeinated staff at Ernie Eves’ Conservative headquarters used the phrase to describe Liberal Leader Dalton McGuinty in a campaign news release.

"Clem - a creature of loose skin and looser morals who features in the television show Buffy the Vampire-Slayer - might have been their inspiration.

"Very little is known about Clem, who made his debut in the show’s sixth season, but we do know this : He is a notorious cheat at kitten poker.

"Kitten poker ?

"That’s plain old poker played with kittens as currency.

"Clem is believed to eat his winnings."

So we can blame the Xers. Still, they’ve made history.

US Republican consultants working on the 1984 campaign are supposed to devised an ad that featured to rhinoceroses having sex, accompanied by the tagline "Look what the Democrats are doing to the average voter".

But that was never shown - and, that year, with Walter Mondale up against Ronald Reagan, the Democrats themselves were, well, rooted.

No, all in all, the "kitten-eater" comments were a lamentable piece of negative campaigning that rightly blew up in the government’s face.

The Liberals look set to take two-thirds of the seats.

And no, they won’t be celebrating with fricasseed kitten. Not even their Korean supporters.