Nathan Fillion

Imposters, iPhones, and Jewel Staite.

Three things happened yesterday that made me clap and laugh.

One: The iPhone has been announced. Jodie Foster was right, "So beautiful. Should have sent a poet." I had no idea until yesterday how empty my life has been. I am but a husk, a brittle shell of a man desitined for mediocrity and speling mistakes. I am incomplete. iPhone, (sotto) you complete me. Two megapixels? Desktop class OS? One button merge calling? Point and pick voicemail? Leave it to the Brainiac 12’s at Apple to give us scolling that is reminiscent of The Price is Right’s big wheel. You princes of silicon, who first brought me the gift of drag and drop, now give unto me "the pinch". Oh, Apple. You had me at "slide to unlock".

Two: My hard work has paid off. Myspace has given that imposter the proverbial kick in the left nut. Ha ha, my nemisis. It looks as though the Imposter has been im-POST-ed. Heh, heh. No, wait. Ha ha, my friend. It looks as though your myspace is now MY-space! Now, think on this: You want to push the publicity of a favorite celeb? Cool! But, if you have a site out there with someone else’s name on it, and no disclosure as to you not being that person- what are you trying to say? Gross, man. Really. That’s weird. What is your message? You hate to be you? You think everyone is stupid? Do you think nobody would like you if they got to know you? That’s where you are wrong, Creepy Imposter Dude in your Mom’s Basement. Take the hours you spend deceiving others and spend it on a certain someone that needs your quality time. No, not your mom. You. You, need some one on one with your creepy self. No one can creepy love you if you don’t creepy love yourself. Hasn’t anyone you’ve stalked or stolen an identity from ever cared enough to tell you that? Stop spreading oogy-negative feelings around the world with lies, and start spreading oogy-love feelings over yourself with a spatula. Then go hang out with your mom.

Three: Jewel Staite has a MySpace thingie again. She, too, is doing what she can to stop the oog. Until such time, you can find her in my top friends. She’s the real deal, folks. I know because I had to beat it out of Morena. Tough love, folks. We’re tight like that.

In other news, Alan Tudyk will be heading to NY for yet another stint on Broadway. Way to go Alan, and don’t forget your x-box. Drive is... well, driving forward. They gave me a nice haircut today, I saw Tim, and met some castmates who seem awesome.

Cheers to all the folks who send great letters, just connecting, being cool and enjoying the access that the web provides. I really appreciate your stories and energy. Jeers to the "I know you’ll never respond to me, but you really should talk more to the fans, you know. It would be nice, you know." guilt trips. What do you know about how much I respond to letters? You just bought yourself a ticket to Ignoresville, USA with your negativity. How do you like me now?