Joss Whedon

I have kinda gone back and forth on trying to put together something like this. Given that the Whedonverse is so small and compact, with most of it laying in the Buffy/Angel realm, I didn’t know if I could lay down a solid list without it seemingly being confined to one ‘verse or the next.

So I did what any great, intelligent writer would do…ask other people to do it for him. So one hot and blustery August afternoon I made my way around the GeekSix offices, knocking on everyone’s door. And my simple question to each of them, “Who is your headliner out of the Whedonverse B-listers?”

After three days I emerged which a small list. Some of us at GeekSix couldn’t even fathom how any character in the Whedonverse could be considered a B-lister. So I wanted to share with you what little I was able to sluff off on others, as well as a few more to fill it out to actual make it a list.

Josh

First stop I made was first and foremost with the boss. He is always a good lackey when he doesn’t know he is one. But of course he is also the one who decided to talk for about two hours before actually deciding on his choice.

And that would be our good friend Badger from Firefly. Here is what my secret tape recorder revealed.

Badger.

Why? Take Mark Sheppard’s always fun style, and mix him with a character Joss Whedon originally wrote for himself, and you have a recipe for deliciousness. In terms of characters, Badger wasn’t deeply nuanced or complex, but Sheppard so perfectly nailed the self-important thief that he trumped even Adelai Niska in terms of enthralling support staff.

My favorite moment? “Course, you couldn’t buy an invite wif’ a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.” Mal and Jayne’s reactions were so real, and Sheppard played off of it perfectly with a stunned look, followed by an overblown volume of righteous indignation, before stammering “… of invites.”

Christy

I don’t know if you have picked up on it yet, but Christy sees through to the heart of most matters. So while most of us get wrapped up in old Megan Fox versus new Megan Fox, she simply says Starbuck would have kicked her ass also.

And for this exercise? She went past the character, straight to the man behind green mask.

Andy Hallett. Lorne had some of the best one liners in Angel, but I think the main reason he’s my pick is that Andy used to lead these great Karaoke sessions at conventions. He’d sing any song with anyone.

“Okay, I know I’m probably going to regret this. In fact, being prescient, I’m actually sure of it.”

“Oh really? Yeah well I’m not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time you walk in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it’s located in my left butt cheek, but it’s still a heart, and that heart is broken.”

“Isn’t this the sort of ‘tude that got you where you are now? I think I’m speaking for everyone when I say… if all you’re gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we’d rather have you evil, then at least, … leather pants.”

Autumn

I think Autumn overheard Christy lamenting about the loss of Lorne, and her supposed wedding to Andy, and the joys of Los Angeles. So she decided to take a turn down the road to Sunnydale and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She wound up stopping this conversation pretty quickly with the once love of Rupert Giles life.

I will definitely have to go with Jenny Calendar. How could you not go with Ms. Calendar? She was a super cool computer teacher and technopagan who turned back to being a gypsy in an attempt to stop evil. And the episode where she died…man Angelus was a dick.

Blain and Joe

I went by Blain’s office only to hear an argument coming from the breakroom. It seems he and Joe had taken up some very loud water cooler conversation. As I walked in this is what I heard:

“Man old Megan Fox was hot!”

“Was?! She still is!”

“Are you crazy? It looks like a plastic surgeon hit her with an ugly shovel.”

“Ugly shovel? You are telling me if she walked in here right now and demanded satisfaction that you would not give it to her?”

“What? You mean like she wants a Snickers?”

As I attempted to get their views on all this Whedony goodness, they simply turned and stared. After about five seconds they responded in unison, “Megan Fox wasn’t in any Whedon show.”

I left the room at this point.

Jason

And so that left me. And that meant I had to do some work left to do. I needed to actually contribute to this list. Which meant telling the hamster upstairs to get to running. And surprisingly, after just a moment of wheel spinning energy was expended, it dawned on me (well after convincing myself that I couldn’t convince you Jayne Cobb was B-list material)… Jubal Early from Firefly!

I am going to quote myself here because I just want to say that Jubal Early was once sick puppy. But a funny sick puppy. Like the one you want to help, but don’t because you want to see what funny thing it is going to do next. But for real? This man was danger and comedy wrapped into a tidy little package. In just the space of one episode you were connected to this villain of a character. And in the end, you were a little sad to see him floating around all alone in the black.

And now the couple of others who deserve their due when waxing poetic on this subject…

Oz

oz buffyI think this can begin and end with basically the geek fanboy that is Seth Green. While it is a given that Oz was the one man to claim the heart of Willow before she decided she was all about the ladies, he always provided the comic relief in a way that outshined Xander. I am actually pretty convinced that if they could have replaced Xander with Oz in the Scoobies without a major revolt from fans, they may have done it. Moist

moistCome on! How could Moist not make this list? He is like basically a sidekick to a sidekick to a sidekick. He makes things wet and soggy. And somehow he pulled off his own minicomic and has rumors that the next installment of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog might actually be based on him (totally not going to happen). And despite all the humidity he brings to the table, the dude still has game with the ladies. Just ask Bait. Or was it Switch? Who knows? Somehow he was with both ladies at some point during the night.

So now that I left off the obvious. It is up to you to do more of my job. Like I said…good writers. Let me start you off with….”Hey it doesn’t look like you have anybody from Dollhouse on your list!!?!”