This sucky year we’ve just endured? I mean, could it be any more generically unpleasing? Did anyone actually do anything other than work, work, work, work, sleep, shit and drink away their sorrows every Saturday night? Or was that just Matthew Perry? (In all seriousness, love his new show “Studio 60” - could be the best thing on TV this year; here’s hoping the bastard network execs keep it on). I could sit here all friggin’ day and list the reasons why 2006 was about as exciting as a Coolio movie, but I’ll give ya 20 :

1. My favourite actor, Harrison Ford, slipped his way down the list after a very unimpressive “Firewall”, but more so, as one of the year’s most dull interviewees.

2. Every fuckin’ movie was a remake, a sequel, a prequel or a spin-off. And the sequels that were thought were going to be good - like “X-Men 3” or “Pirates of the Caribbean 2” - were as lousy as a bruised and battered intoxicated hooker.

3. Not even Tom Hanks could give us a good movie this year. That is saying something.

4. We lost Peter Brock. We lost Steve Irwin. We lost James brown. We lost Chris Penn. We lost Aaron Spelling. We lost Dana Reeve. We lost Robert Altman. We lost Peter Boyle. Nuff’ said.

5. The fact that “Indiana Jones 4” still hasn’t announced production. Give your hand off it George, and get to work!

6. There was nothing from Joss Whedon on TV or at the theaters.

7. That bananas were too bloody expensive to buy.

8. That news wires and respected newspapers decided to start pinching all of our stories - without credit.

9. That all the good movies - like “Babel”, “The Queen” and “Children of Men” - weren’t released until the end of the year; when most of the critics had retired for the Xmas break.

10. That some studio publicist’s ideas are older than the cobwebs behind their legs - I mean, how’s this one “The internet will be gone in a couple of years, that’s why we don’t take much notice of it. Magazines will be on their way back”.

11. That you can no longer take bottles of drink on board an airplane! (and speaking of which, it takes you longer to get through airport security now than it does to watch the director’s cut of “Dances with Wolves”!)

12. That the biggest stars of the year were people like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, K-Fed, Kimberley Stewart, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, .... People who are more famous for opening their legs, mixing their drinks and being on the VIP list at every club, than doing anything remotely interesting with the arts.

13. That people rushed out to see shit like the girly-gag fest “The Break-Up” or “You, Me & Dupree” but decided to sit, say, “Brick” or “Bobby” out.

14. That because of the pirates, critics are seeing less and less review discs - and being treated like terrorists as they go into an early media screening. Please, for the love of god, put away the camcorders and stay away from the Bleeker St Bag stores!

15. Bush in still in office. Howard is still in Office.

16. “Deadwood” came to an end. Prematurely.

17. My lawnmower boy, ‘Rocket Boy’, who charged the best prices in town, moved interstate.

18. Magazines and Newspapers are still firing freelancers who “ask kindly” to be paid the monies they’re owed.

19. That the best popcorn movie of the year, “Mission : Impossible 3”, flopped - because of everyone’s inability to see beyond ‘Tom Cruise, the personality’ and ‘Ethan Hunt, the character’. Not anyone’s fault, just sad.

20. My cat Louis, got sick, and after about five thousand dollars of medical expenses, there was still nothing they could do. Thankfully, Santa got him some fish treats to cheer him up.