Guess what this show is selling?

Taking a look ahead at the week’s DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there’s a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc. The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there’s likely something for you.

For people worried that Keanu Reeves didn’t make enough money on the Matrix sequels: Constantine

I oftentimes have debates with friends about how much box office pull Ted "Theodore" Logan has. We go back and forth on whether he has been lucky with his projects or whether his successes are representative of underlying populist appeal. The comic book adaptation of Constantine is one that has to be scored in favor of the latter argument. We have born witness in recent months to several comic book film failures. Constantine’s best marketing moment involves Reeves smacking his forearms together and speaking in tongues. As far as marketing strategies go, it’s a unqiue one but not a positive move. Even so, Constantine opened to an impressive (by early 2005 standards) $33.6 million on its way to $75 million in domestic receipts. Sure, that’s not enough to counter the budget but after DVD sales factor in, this project will be profitable enough to spawn a sequel. It also has received surprisingly strong word-of-mouth. All of that is a credit to either the Reeves management team for picking the right scripts or to Reeves himself for being the silent majority’s choice. Constantine did not work for me as much as it has for a lot of people, but I would still recommend it as a rental. I also feel that future John Constantine films have a solid chance to be much better. It’s a fascinating world.

For everyone in figure skating except Tonya Harding: Ice Princess - With Michelle Trachtenberg

This is a straightfoward marketing attempt by Disney to dovetail their sports releases with the under-16 girls market. The result is an occasionally bland but generally satisfying exercise. Some of the characters are cliche, particularly a certain Sex and the City cast member who once betrayed Spock. What makes the film worth watching, though, is an exceptional dynamic between the physics star turned champion skater and the girl whose position she usurps. Their friendship is believable and distinctly positive. It saves an otherwise forgettable project and makes it worth watching, particularly for girls who watch the Olympics and dream.

For disappointed T3 fans wondering where that nice, young Eddie Furlong went: The Crow: Wicked Prayer - With David Boreanaz

David Boreanaz plays against type here as a biker boy who performs heinous acts in order to attain forbidden powers. If you were not sure before that this is a cheesy ripoff of the original film, therein lies your proof. It gets worse, though. Poster boy for bad behavior Edward Furlong plays the vigilante hero who cheats death long enough to take revenge on those who wronged him. The original Brandon Lee film, The Crow, stands as one of the best of the 1990s. I am genuinely depressed by all of these STV caliber sequels that have come down the pike in the decade following his death on set. It’s borderline disrespectful to his memory. But I like Angel, so I have to admit I am tempted to check it out.

For Martin Lawerence’s career: Dead Like Me: The Complete Second Season

BOP’s Ash Wakeman, someone I trust completely with regards to pop culture, sings the praises of this show. The concept is exactly the kind of quirk that can only have a chance to survive (no pun intended) on cable. The heroine dies at the start of the show when she is ignominiously hit by a toilet seat from Space Station MIR. Upon crossing over to the other side, she is given an unusual offer. She can take on the vocation of grim reaper as part of a team of doombringers. I have yet to watch a single episode as of yet, but it’s on the shortlist now that I am caught up on Entourage and Deadwood.

For people who want sequels for everything: Earth 2: The Complete Series

No, this is not a play on the ending of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It’s a barely known NBC science-fiction series from 1994. The backdrop is that an actress named Debrah Farentino leveraged some nekkid, sweaty sex on then-hot NYPD Blue into her own series. The concept was one of exploration as a group of settlers tried to survive on a planet similarly inhabitable to this one. A nation shrugged at the thought of it. Times have changed since then, though. Any sci-fi series has a chance to pilfer some nerds of their disposable income, so they all get released on DVD now. Earth 2 does offer the presence of Clancy Brown, the hard-working actor from Carnivale who is best known as The Kurgan on Highlander. The physically imposing man plays a, well, physically imposing man of some authority within the tribe of settllers.

For the writers of The O.C.: Laguna Beach: The Real Orange Country: Season One

All I know about this show I’ve learned from The O.C. Okay, that is not 100% accurate. I also learned that one of the women from the show has since dated USC quarterback Matt Leinart. But other than that, everything I know about the show has come from The O.C. The creative team is transfixed by the thought that their soap opera could lead to a reality show based on the same ideal. I can never tell if they are proud or bitter about this. I learn toward a bit of both but either way, their constant referencing of it has piqued my curiosity.

For Bring It On fans looking for less T&A but more TLJ: Man of the House

At some point, Tommy Lee Jones accepted the fact that most of his roles would involve him portraying the grizzled veteran forced into tutoring his young protege(s). In that six year time frame, he has played variations on this role approximately 647 times. This one is totally different, though, because it has cheerleaders. Also, the Jones character is eventually able to build an emotional bridge to the daughter he barely knows. It’s a glorious day for Texas.

For dead red fastball hitters: Sliders Season: The Third Season

I have seen exactly four episodes of this show in my lifetime. What I know about it is that they cast the female leads well. BOP fave Sabrina Lloyd, aka Natalie Hurley on Sports Night, portrayed Wade Wells until the end of season three. At this point, she was written off the show and replaced by former Remote Control co-host Kari Wuhrer. In the NFL vernacular, this is like replacing Joe Montanta with Steve Young. Conveniently enough, season three is when the swap takes place. So, if you are interested in the show, this is as good a place to jump in as any.

For fans of bad actresses who look good: Paranoid

Jessica Alba and Mischa Barton have two things in common. The first one is that they get more work than their acting ability justifies. The other is that they anchoring the new generation of sex symbols. In the case of Alba, I totally get it. I even watched Dark Angel because of it. In the case of Barton, I find myself wondering why other crack whores were left behind. They would have looked at least as good and were absolutely guaranteed of being more capable of delivering soap opera-quality lines. I was recently informed that Barton has a memorable part in Notting Hill. This has led to the realization that she is a child actress with a decade in the field. She’s not ever getting better at her craft than she is right now. The Shannen Doherty of The O.C. cannot be dumped from the show fast enough for my tastes. But I digress. Paranoid is a low budget film from 2000 that offered unusually clever casting. Otherwise, it’s forgettable. I just wanted to rant about Barton a bit while confirming Alba does it for me.

For Julius Caesar 2525: Cleopatra 2525: The Complete Series - With Gina Torres

Finishing the week’s trend of all low-budget science fiction works hitting the home video market, Cleopatra 2525 gets a release. Originally, this was a lighter 30 minute show that was nicely counterbalanced by BOP fave Bruce Campbell’s insta-classic, Jack of All Trades. Unfortunately, ratings were unkind to Jack despite its impossibly catchy theme song. After its production ended, Cleopatra bumped up to an hour long show that became much less flighty in tone. The story had centered upon a 20th century stripper comedically dealing with the dangers of 26th century living. After it swapped off to an hour, Cleopatra 2525 maintained its B-movie tone but became a much more conventional show. The earlier episodes are better, but the entire run is well worth watching if you enjoy Buck Rogers-type cinema, particularly if done by fans of the Playboy Channel. Cleopatra 2525 is my choice for DVD release of the week.

Releases for the week of July 19th, 2005:

Blast (2004)
Charlie (2004)
Cleopatra 2525: The Complete Series (3-DVD Set) (2000)
Conspiracy of Silence (2003)
Constantine (2-Disc Deluxe Edition) (2005)
Constantine (Full Frame) (2005)
Constantine (Widescreen) (2005)
The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)
Dead Like Me: The Complete Second Season (4-DVD Set) (2004)
Earth 2: The Complete Series (3-DVD Set) (1994)
The Farewell (2000)
Harry and Max (2005)
Hide and Creep (2004)
Ice Princess (Full Frame) (2005)
Ice Princess (Widescreen) (2005)
Laguna Beach: The Real Orange Country: Season One (3-DVD Set) (2004)
Man of the House (2005)
Paranoid (2000)
Red Serpent (2002)
Rottweiler (2004)
Sliders: The Third Season (4-DVD Set) (1996)
Space Station (IMAX) (2002)
Tomorrow We Move (2004)
Tornado (2004)
Up and Down (2004)
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)
Wishing Stairs (2003) Zodiac Killer (2005)