Buffy The Vampire Slayer

2004 Buffy Down Under Convention — Melbourne, Australia

James Marsters Q&A — Sunday, July 4, 2004

NOTE: Comments marked within [ ] are about the audience, by the audience or transcriber notes. Comments within ( ) are to describe James’s actions, expressions, etc.

JM: Is everybody awake? Everyone get enough sleep last night? [Audience answers back, "No!"] (laughingly) NO! And now do you have Red Bull like I do?

I went to bed — I was such a good boy — I went to bed at like 8 o’clock. I didn’t sleep a wink. Every enemy I’ve ever had in my life cycled through my brain. God, I’m such an asshole sometimes. [Audience laughs] So, what I do best is just respond to questions. You guys click away, flash away and you guys make me feel like Queen for a Day when you do that. So, uh, but, other than just kind of coming up with the same boring...same boring stories that you’ve probably already heard, it’s better if you just ask what you want to ask. Don’t worry ask what you want; there’s nothing off territory.

Someone’s going to have to do it first... [First person approaches the microphone.] YES! Thank you!

Q: You’ve talked a lot about how the method sucks the soul out of you on television because in order for the camera to pick up the truth of the moment you really have to physically and psychologically inhabit that emotion. But you’ve also talked a lot about how in the kissing scenes, which is an emotional moment, you’ve said the ones that worked were the ones where you thought about breakfast. [Audience laughs.] I didn’t understood why Method works for certain emotions but for those scenes you’ve stayed away from that?

JM: It’s the same reason that Method doesn’t work for stunt fighting. I remember, I was in a show in Chicago. It was an original play called, "Mortal Fear", and I was handcuffed — I was playing a killer and I was really handcuffed — and the guy who played the guard thought you should improvise stage violence. And so he’s doing stuff like poke me in the eye, you know, and lift me up, and he was a gargantuan guy from Vietnam right, and I fired him. (laughs) I was the choreographer for that one. But you really have to check all your emotions — as soon as that violence happens all that acting goes away— and so it’s safe. It’s not so much that kissing someone with passion isn’t safe, but what happens with the lips... (demonstrates)... I mean, if you really look at someone making out and they’re really, really into it, (laughing) you don’t want to look at it. My first kiss with Sarah, we did like 15 takes. She was really patient, but I didn’t get it by the way. (laughing) That was a good day, though. [Audience laughs, claps]

Q: I have a second, related question. You might like to know that Emma Caulfield, not once but twice now, publicly has talked about how much she quote, "enjoyed your special, unique kissing technique". Now, one time I can let it go, but twice... publicly, on behalf of all the women here, I would like to ask, what in the heck is she talking about? [Cheers from audience.]

JM: Okay, this is a...Fine, I’m 42, I’ve learned how to kiss, yeah. [Audience laughs.] Be present in the moment. Just be with that person and have nothing else going on but that moment, so that the little tiny communication can happen. But if you’re thinking about your job or the last lover you had or whatever, or how you want to..."are we going to score?", you know? Get that all out of your mind and just be with the person right then. That’s as much as I know.

[Audience claps.] Wow. If you want to kiss, you can. Yeah.

Q: [New person to mic] Your acting career has had a number of facets to it, music, stage, screen, etc. I was just wondering, which to date of these, has been the most fulfilling for you professionally and personally, and why?

JM: Good question. They’re all completely different. I guess whenever I’m writing my own material, it feels more dangerous and it feels like the stakes for me personally are more because usually when I’m writing a song or a one-act play or whatever I’m writing, then I’m communicating something that I don’t tell anybody else in any other way. So it’s this incredible moment of you saying what you’re saying and then you go, "Are they going to kill me for that?" And then usually it’s [motions something] so you feel like you’re not alone basically.

Stage - you’re totally in control - how many people were here yesterday? Okay, you’re going to hear it again. [Audience laughs] I like the respect you get in stage. There’s an honesty, when you go through the stage door they’re like, "Hello Mr. Marsters. Welcome." When you go in the stage, there’s a little sign-in sheet. You just initial your name and then after that you’re in the theater, you check your own props, you check your own costume. You’re responsible for every part of your performance and no one has to look over your shoulder because you’re a professional.

And, in Hollywood, they have people with headsets following you at the Kraft table, [talking like into a headset], "James is having a bagel. James is having a bagel." [Audience laughs.] "James threw the bagel away again." And they will, you will hear, "James is going to the bathroom. James is going to the bathroom." Try going to the bathroom when everyone is describing, if you’re going 1 or 2. [Audience laughs.] So basically in Hollywood there is no trust at all of actors — at all. So that’s frustrating to me. That took a long time for me to kind of reconcile, to be comfortable with. One thing I will tell you about film is that it requires an incredible courage to just be yourself and to understand that that’s okay, that’s enough. And the one thing film taught me is that everybody is beautiful. Everybody is worth being stared at. It’s just that only certain people, certain of us are so desperate as to allow it. (laughs)

[Audience laughs and claps.]

Q: [New questioner] One of the favorite clips I think for all of us here is you in the first season of "Angel" doing the voice over from the rooftop [loud cheers from audience]. I think we all love that one. In "The Italian Job" with Seth Green, he does a really similar scene with a British accent and he’s basically doing voice over for a character called Handsome Rob whose picking up a girl for part of his scam. I wondered if you knew if he was inspired by that scene, if he was on set when you were doing that scene?

JM: Seth probably didn’t rip it off, but they ripped it off of Joss. They rip Joss off ALL THE TIME. Blade? That’s Angel, man. [audience laughs] The coat! It’s pathetic. Good actor. That guy is a good actor, better than we actually know, but that whole thing was a rip off of "Angel." Uh, what were we talking about here? [Audience laughs.]

Q: You don’t have any contact with Seth?

JM: No, I haven’t talked with Seth. No. Seth is a good guy though. Seth is a really good guy. I wish I could act with him again. Seth is like David. There were two actors, in my years on "Buffy", if you looked in their eye, they wouldn’t flinch. Most of the actors, if you look really in their eyes and say, "how you doing?", they’ll forget their lines. But David and Seth are like, "I’m fine, bud." And that’s always really exciting because then we don’t know what’s going to happen. Then it’s all improvisation and it’s all dangerous. I love working with David, guys. I will tell you, David Boreanaz is cool like David, man. David is a stand-up guy. Sometimes I hear from fans that they don’t, that you don’t quite get that, and I’m not quite sure why. But I’ve worked with him and he does NOT complain. He works hard, he goes home to his family and he goes to bed.

JM: [As next person approaches microphone stand in front of James.] (laughingly) It’s like coming to meet the Queen, isn’t it? (in high-pitched, accented "queen" voice) Hellooo.

Q: Your Highness. [Laughs] There’s a quote from Marti Noxon where she first describes Spike as being like an undead James Dean. Now when I’ve mention this to people, they’re like, "He’s nothing like James Dean." But I think it’s kind of like yesterday when I was asking you about how popular music rediscovers itself over and over, and I think Spike is always remaking himself. Like there’s that lovely scene in "Angel" where in the 50s, he’s being this really hip 50s dude because that was trendy. [James interjects in accented voice, "Ciao".] And then in the 50s he’s like James Dean and then he’s like that rock star, who’s that guy? [Audience offers up Billy Idol.]

JM: It was actually Johnny Rotten. Joss told everyone he wanted Sid Vicious. He didn’t want Sid Vicious because here’s Sid, [slipping into laid back, drugged out English accented voice] "Girls like me because I’ve got a nice face..."

Whereas Johnny Rotten is like, (in very intense, fast voice) "HI! HERE’S EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY", you know. That’s...

Q: [interrupting James before he goes off on an answer] My question was [audience laughs], do you feel you have a perspective on that dude? Were you doing any sort of James Dean’s things or do you think...?

JM: No. That’s a trap. Isn’t it? It’s a trap. If you try to be like James Dean...

Q: Well, you wouldn’t, no. But every time there’s a reinvention of it, it’s a personification that goes back to that I think. But there’s no conscious thing on your part?

JM: No, not at all. When I think of, but thank you because James is one of my favorite actors, but when I think about James Dean there’s that one scene — both of these are from "Rebel", right — and they’re slashing his tires and he comes up to the guy and he’s like, (in unaffected tone) "You read too many comic books." And he goes and changes the tire and it’s obvious that the one mature person in the whole room is James, right? That, ’cause that’s SO cool, just to be cool like that, to be a man. And then there’s that scene in the bed where he’s like, (in agonized, yelling voice) "YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!"

I think that I had a bit of both of that in my performance but I wasn’t trying to do that and if that...

Q: You may not consciously try to do it but I think that it’s there.

JM: Yeah, but coming back to Spike, I think that he is the ultimate faker. I mean, in Hollywood, there’s all these people who reinvent themselves, who lie about their past and all that’s really kind of funny, but Spike could get away with it. He’s like, "I’m going to pretend I’m a really tough guy now because I’m a vampire and they can’t kill me, so I’m going get away with faking it." And you do that for a 100 years and you don’t have to fake it any more. But yeah, that’s the thing about Spike — he’s the ultimate faker.

Q: [New questioner cautiously asks] I really like the way you sing and I really liked the band’s CD and not wanting to upset...

JM: That’s okay. Ask what you want, man. It’s okay. If they told you don’t ask about the band, (makes sound like forget it, don’t worry about it).

Q: Do you think you might get back into singing?

JM: I’m in it right now. I was in my hotel room finishing up a song I happen to think is the best song I’ve ever written, on the heels of the last best song I’ve ever written. That was the great thing about being with the band is that I, uh, I think Charlie helped me in my chord progressions and I helped him in his melody. I think his melody got... [Someone yells out, "Play it."] No, I ain’t got a guitar. You got a guitar?

Q: Which, in your opinion, is your best song?

JM: My best song completed right now is "This Town."

Q: Have you ever come across fan fic that people wrote about you?

JM: (vigorously) Nope, nope, nope, nope. [Audience laughs.] It’s not that I’m offended, (laughingly) it’s just that I’m a little too exciting. [Big audience laugh.] Seriously. When this thing happened to me, I went on the ’Net twice and it felt SO GOOD. It was like a narcotic and I got off going, "I’m a lot COOLER than I thought I was." (laughs) And then like five minutes later you’re like, "You’re an idiot, you know. Just don’t go there." So no, I really still don’t, I’m not even hooked up to the ’Net for the specific reason that I would be tempted to go hear all the nice things you guys say, but if I really listen to that I’m going to lose my soul and then you guys would be like, "Well, another guy lost it."

Q: [New questioner] Hi James. [Funny, teasing comments from audience.]

JM: (laughingly) They’re giving you junk. I love it. They’re heckling you. (laughing)

Q: ...what’s you’re opinion on media censorship at this moment, in this climate?

JM: It’s never been more clear that the idea of "liberal media" is a lie. I once saw a reporter admit on "Nightline" that most reporters are liberals—that is true; however, all editors are STAUNCH Republicans so they can write whatever they want to write but it’s not going to get in the paper unless it reflects the editorial policy of the paper. And, uh, (takes deep breath.) I’ve got to be careful here because I’m not in my own country and I never really believed in people going outside their country and dissing it. I think if you want to take up the fight, you go to your own country and you fight that fight.

Q: [New questioner] I’m a hairdresser you see, so it’s a hair question. [Audience laughs.] In the submarine episode, "Why We Fight", your hair was so black and so straight, I always wondered how they did that actually. Did they iron it straight or... [Audience laughter interrupts her.]

JM: I was never more sorry that I ever gave anyone any ideas on the show than when I said, "We’re going back to World War II. I don’t think my character would have white hair because that’s a punk thing and he probably got that done about ’75, so what color are we?" And that was in the middle of the season when changing my hair color is not necessarily that easy so that touched off a firestorm of wig fittings and dye jobs and, oh my god, but it was a wig. And it was, like all wigs that are not made for me, very much smaller than my HUGE head. And so, it was really a whole episode about this little band right here and whether it was wrinkling. And a good performance was when it doesn’t wrinkle, and a bad performance was (laughing) when it wrinkles. So, for me, the sub episode was all about the head.

Q: I was totally distracted the whole way through the episode. Looks great [referring to his present, actual hair color/style] by the way. I love it.

Q: [New questioner] If you could give advice to your younger self, what would you tell him to do differently and how would it change where you are right now? [James doesn’t answer right away as he thinks about the question.] Feel free to make a glib response if you’re uncomfortable answering it.

JM: That’s a really good question. Um, I made a lot of mistakes in my younger life. I did a lot of things that I’m quite glad to be done with, uh, but they brought me here. I don’t think I could have played Spike unless I’d made those mistakes. So, I guess what I’d tell him is, "Hold on; it gets better." [Audience laughs, claps.]

Q: [New questioner] I was just wondering, all sorts of morals aside, what did you find as an actor, what did you enjoy more, playing bad Spike or good Spike?

JM: Bad Spike, in a second! [Audience cheers.] Bad Spike is what we all want to be, which is absolutely not tied to moral convention at all, completely outside that and when we want something we take it. That’s the ultimate fantasy. Good Spike was in love with Buffy and whipped to a fine troth froth. [Audience laughs.]

Q: He was so cute. He was like a puppy dog.

JM: (Laughing) So sickening. "I’m tired of crying!" [Audience laughs.] The stuff you have to put yourself through to really do "pain" is a lot of pain. Whereas what you have to put yourself through to "kill people" (laughing) is nothing as it turns out.

JM: [New questioner] I’m a huge fan of your music, of your singing voice and my favorite episode is "Once More With Feeling"... I was wondering if you’d want to do something a little different? The last scene in "Once More With Feeling", I’ll be Buffy [Audience roars.] I’m [says something that makes the audience laugh...]

JM: No, but I will say that when you have to kiss someone in brutal profile, no actor likes that.

Q: Okay, so I’ll say it. "Spike" [She sings first line, "I touch the fire and it freezes me." Audience going crazy, cheering, laughing.]

JM: (in sing-song voice) "I don’t remember all the words." [Audience laughing like crazy.]

Q: [Keeps singing next lines] "I looked into it and it’s black. This isn’t real but I just want to feel."

JM: (James joins in singing on the last line) "Where do we go from here." [HUGE cheers from audience.]

JM: You’ve got more balls than I do darlin’. Rock on.

Q: [New questioner] I just want to thank you for your incredible portrayal of Spike. [Audience claps] And to ask you how difficult was it to get into character because Spike was changing all the time. It would have been easy initially because he was the Big Bad, evil, but as he was changing. Were you directed or did you have some idea of where he was going or did you just have to prep for episode by episode?

JM: Yeah, here’s the thing about television, it moves so fast there’s almost no direction at all. Zero. I got one bit of direction from Joss, which was "a little less Laurence Olivier, a little more Tim Roth." [Audience laughs.] And if you watch the acting, it goes from very big to something, hopefully, more subtle. But no, we go so fast, it was just, it’s weird. It means to me that it’s so important to cast a show well because you don’t have time to direct the people and if the lines comes out correctly, we will move on. And so, it’s really, it’s a testament to how well the shows were cast that there was that much subtlety going on.

Q: [New questioner] Spike, obviously an ideal character to play, but for you now, what do you see as an ideal character, in a movie or on stage, what’s your ideal character to play?

JM: (responds quickly, saying rapidly) Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth. [Audience laughs.] I actually have found a guy who is willing to talk to me about funding the movie. I knew that I needed someone who was good at raising funds, but who also respected Shakespeare and didn’t want to put "Macbeth" in a high school or something, which it’s surprising how many people in Hollywood want to do that.

Q: What sort of version do you want to do?

JM: I just want to do it right. I just want to do it as written — kilts, swords, chopping heads off. It works. Why would you want to take it out of that (laughs), you know? So, I am going back and we’re adapting. I am working on that. I am interested in playing someone a little closer to me. I haven’t done that for film yet and I think that would be kind of cool.

Q: Which is?

JM: Goofy, man. [Audience laughs.] It’s hard to describe yourself. That’s hard to say. Not that cool.

Q: [New questioner] Just wanted to know how did you get the part on "Buffy" and how did you find the transition from "Buffy" to "Angel"?

JM: I got the part on "Buffy" because they had their back up against the wall. Yeah, no seriously, they had been looking for a Spike for months and they couldn’t find what they needed so they basically scraped lower in the barrel than the last time. [Audience laughs.] No really. I was new to town. I had almost no film experience. I had a lot of stage experience but nobody knew me at all. And I think I came in with the best accent because, frankly, they weren’t casting a role that was supposed to last long. So, they did want it to be right, but at the end of the day, your back’s up against the wall. You’ve got to start filming, I think when I was cast I shot the day after the next day. I think they were at 48 hours to find somebody so it really was a question of "You know, we’re really not going to find anybody. He’s got a good accent. Let’s put him up there and kill him off." [Audience laughs.] But [I was] lucky that you guys liked me so much. (laughing)

Going over to "Angel" was seamless. So many of the writers were the same. So many of the directors were the same. I’d already worked with David a lot. All of the actors who I hadn’t worked with on the show, I’d already done Shakespeare with over at Joss’ house so I already knew them really well. Yeah. Different coat, looked the same, but that was the only difference.

Q: [New questioner] A simple question, did you prefer the cast of "Buffy" or the cast of "Angel". [Lots of "oohs" and laughs from audience.]

JM: That is not a simple question. Um, I can’t answer your question. But this is what I will say about both casts is that making a TV show — it’s not really like war, I’ve never been in real war other than really small one — when you go through an experience that tests you that much, that drives you to the edges of your own understanding about yourself so consistently, you really do see the best and worst of people. And with both casts I had a warts and all appreciation for them. I love them all and I know that they’ve got problems (laughs), but I also respected them. And we walked through the fire. We really did. That’s real. And so I can’t say that I don’t like anybody. Yeah, there are certain people I’d rather hang out with but that’s, you know, like a family. They drive you CRAZY, but you love them.

Q: [New questioner] ...I heard that drama school wasn’t such a great place for you and having finished a drama degree I can really relate to that. But what influenced you in bringing you to the place you are as an actor now and what’s the motivation?

JM: I got into acting because my home life was kind of messed up, right. So, yeah, ACTOR, right? (Laughs) But I liked being part of a group that was functioning semi-harmoniously and then at the end of the day would create something beautiful to be shared with other people. I just liked being in on the gag of people who were all kind of on the same page, so it wasn’t really about personal gratification or getting attention or anything. I just liked to be in the group. Actually I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t go into technical theater because that would have given me the same kind of, uh, jollies.

And I actually went to a very good program right out of high school, Pacific Conservatory for the Performing Arts in Santa Maria, CA. ...I really believe that acting is an old world art form, and it really ought to be trained in the old world ways, like apprenticeship because once you really deconstruct acting and take it apart and try to practice it in pieces, it falls apart. But, if you just watch a good actor and emulate that behavior, you’ll learn. And, the audience will tell you if you are being boring, that’s a really good test.

So, yeah, I had two wonderful years of playing the thirty-second rhinoceros from the third in Ionesco’s "Rhinoceros" and the forty-third sailor in "Billy Budd", you know. The whole point of which was just having another body cheaply on stage, but you could watch great actors go from first rehearsal to last performance and that was invaluable. And then I really had two horrible years at Juilliard (laughs) and they told me every day that I wasn’t a good actor. Because I stood up, we were doing “Troilus and Cressida”, and they call it the discovery play, and we were being directed by Marian Seldes who is a fabulous Broadway actress, and at that time a very bad director. I love her. I really do. ...And, so basically we were getting no direction. We went through three and a half weeks and she wouldn’t say anything except (slipping into proper, older woman voice), "Keep discovering new words", which is great, as you know, in the first week. Because first week, basically first week rehearsals are all about exploration and nothing is wrong. By the time you get to the third and fourth week, you have to make choices, you have to tell a story, and you have to start thinking that people are going to be spending part of their life with you. And finally in the third and, so I was saying, "Why do they call it a discovery play?" Obviously they could give us a good director if they want to, but maybe the whole point is not to direct us and see if, as a group, we come together and tell the story. So I’m like, well, if that’s it, here I go. So I stand up and I go (in tone full of attitude), "This is the biggest piece of crap I have ever been a part of. People are going to come here and spend three hours of their life and it will be wasted time. I have never been so ashamed."

(laughing) It turned out Marian was supposed to be directing us the whole time and she took it as a personal criticism of her. And then she shared that with Liz Smith who was a really horrible person at Juilliard and she never, she punished me for that because Marian was a really beautiful person who got kind of crushed by my comment. (In tone like surprise that his comment would have had any affect) I mean who was I? I was 17 years old? But, uh, Liz wanted to protect Marian against this horrible, new, egotistical young man. (laughs) All it was, I just, I thought that’s what they wanted. But ever since, DAILY, it was Liz going, (in very proper condescending tone) "You’re not an actor. Sit down."

[Chuckles from audience. Someone says, "ah".]

(laughing) No, I’m okay. They kicked me out and Michael Langham was like, (proper older man voice) "We think you should quit looking at sample? cinema? because there is no way you will ever be an actor."

And I was like, "Well, Mike, that’s really interesting because I was acting for a very long time before I came to you and it always turned out really well. So, I think I’m going to go back to that world before I make my decision."

He’s like, (in proper, surprised tone) "That’s very mature." [Audience laughs.]

[Questioner says something about now being able to show them.]

Yeah, (laughing) but they don’t respect television. (laughing) But I don’t care because I don’t respect them. [Cheers from audience.]