While Paris Hilton waited patiently in line (at the friggin’ Bev Hilton) with new pal Vanessa Minnillo, Mischa Barton got blasted by guards at the bash where America Ferrera and Kyra Sedgwick went to celebrate their Globe-ular successes. And what the eff was Sacha Baron Cohen’s problem, huh?

Oh, before I get to the latest scoopage that other publications are pretending they had first (Brangelina movin’ to N’Awlins and Us Weekly, to be exact), let’s mosey back to those bashes Cristina Gibson, my sensational new Awful intern, Liza with a Y!, Liza Yorks, and I were buzzin’ about before. Like I said, the In Style/Warner Bros. fete was hoppin’ with mostly hot celebs, from the Olsen duo to all the Desperate divas alongside Hollywood tough-ass hunks such as Clint Eastwood and Hilary Swank. Mischa Barton told me her date for the night was her agent, but I saw Ms. B., in a black strapless number, sneak boyfriend Cisco Adler past the long line, which held, I kid you not, such patient stiletto-coolers as Paris H. and her band o’ gabby gals-behaving, all of ‘em!

Unlike M.B., who bypassed everybody else and tried to sneak in past the not-having-it goon-guards.

"Back of the line!" bellowed one of the security guards so strongly, I think Mischa forgot how to pout there for a sec. She ran away, just as Cisco’s greasy locks were near trembling, I kid you not.

Less scary, more sisterly, inside the rarified party, Michelle Trachtenberg said she brought her sis along for the bash. This was right before Ms. T. did something else on the iconoclastic side: She actually selected a calorie-loaded Godiva chocolate from the assortment being offered by ridiculously good-looking waiters (who were almost as enticing as one entire wall of chocolate, the contents of which desperately needed to be downed by most every malnourished babe in the soiree, alas, no takers...).

"Absolutely not!" she said through bites. "I love food and I eat it all the time." Us, too, babe!