In this old-school edition of the Stalk: Aleksey Vayner, a reader’s account of Wood v. Leto, Winona Ryder’s shocking inability to hail a cab, Matt Dillon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mandy Moore, Erika Christensen and Jeremy Sisto, Ludacris, Fisher Stevens, Liev Shreiber, Rosie Perez, Sam Rockwell, Peter Dinklage, Beck, Vanessa Carleton, Tim Gunn, James Marsters, Hilary Swank, Gerald Butler, Denzel Washington, Tara Reid, David Letterman, Jerry Seinfeld, Heath Ledger, ?uestlove, Billy Zane, James Earl Jones, Mary J. Blige, PJ Harvey, Parker Posey, James Gandolfini, Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick, Tim Blake Nelson, Robert De Niro and Harvey Keitel, Clint Eastwood, Mario Batali, Mick Jagger, Leelee Sobieski, Howard Stern, Roger Moore, and Dean Winters

Saw your boy Aleksey Vayner at the Bryant Square train stop. He’s definitely a shell of a shattered of a destroyed man, was mumbling and had eyes firmly fixed to the floor. Bonus: That motherfucker is 5’6, maybe 5’7 in a totally wicked-awesome pair of skis, maybe a buck-sixty. Either he stopped eating ’roids, or his photoshoper is a fucking genius.

Last night I went to the MTV U Woodie Awards (what the fuck are those right?) and luckily I scored a spot in one of the "common folk" pens right near the celebrity tables. So the entire night I am ten feet from Elijah Wood, who is cuter than expected, shorter than expected and smokes alot (yeah they let the celebrities smoke at their tables....fuckers) Anyway also in attendance was Jared Leto with his stupid band 30 Seconds to Mars. The show went as expected bands played, bands I never heard of won awards etc. As the show was winding down and TV on the Radio was performing Jared Leto was working the tables, saying hey. He then comes over to Elijah’s table. Im like "Oh my god they are totes gonna make out". Jared puts his arm on the hobbits back and starts whispering stuff in his ear and and occasionally pulling back to look him in the face. Jared then walks away and Elijah turns to his date for the evening friends and says something. Well something about this must have pissed Jared off because he comes running back to the table, grabs Elijah by the neck and starts screaming at him. All I could catch was Jared calling him a "fucking asshole". He then shoves Elijah and storms off. Bodygaurds come up and Elijah assures everyone he’s fine. But MAD drama. Any speculations? Maybe its about them both tappin’ the firecrotch.

I just saw Winona Ryder on prince and greene trying to hail a cab. it was weird, she like hailed a normal car and they rolled down their window and she was like ’do you know where the best place to get a cab is?’ kind of sounded desperate. she was standing just to the left of me, it was her voice that clued me in that it was her. the car took off and she turned and gave me this weird face and i was like ’you should be able to get one right here?’ [but i’m thinking, yo winona ryder is all up in my grill. weird/cool]. so then she runs over to a cab coming and this chick with her who looked like her [confused] shopper/assistant follows and as the cab slows down, Winona puts her hands together as if praying and she’s mumbling ’oh please please please’ —it was weird. then she leans in and talks to the cabbie for a few seconds too long, then finally gets in and takes off. so i was thinking the cabs were all like ’ohhh nooo here comes winona! you know girl is gonna try to cab’n’dash! fuggetaboutit. ’ either that or she was trying to get the cabs to take her to mexico.

Paused on Rivington, my girls and I watched Matt Dillon come and go by us with 2 other approaching middle age guys. Leather jacket, grey jeans. 12:00 am

Gwyneth Paltrow at Honmura on Mercer btw houston and prince. Looking very slim post-baby in black and a knot-like hair do. very elegant.

Perhaps too late for posting but we saw Mandy Moore at Schiller’s Liquor Bar on Sunday at noon. She was surprisingly tall and pretty. She walked up with a friend and a few bags — she must have found the only store on LES open before noon on a Sunday.

I just saw Erika Christensen and Jeremy Sisto eating lunch together, outside at Coffee Shop (16th and USq W). Are they a couple???

Sat next to Ludacris having lunch at Houstons (53rd & 3rd) with two members of his Entourage-decked out in camo and plenty of bling, blackberry in hand the entire time.

Was invited to the first Mon night karaoke party @ 205 last night and saw Fisher Stevens, Liev Shreiber, Rosie Perez, and Sam Rockwell jammin’ it onstage. Liev and Rosie sang a cute duet, and Fisher belted out Bowie’s Major Tom. He has a great voice! They all joined other singers on their songs and danced into the night, way after I left the scene...

At noon, on the corner of Hudson and Charles...saw Peter Dinklage skateboarding! Wearing dark jeans and a leather jacket, and on a skateboard. I know its totally not supposed to be cute, but it was.

Saw Beck shopping at ABC home today at 2:30 on the first floor...19th and Broadway...He was with 2 women who I think were his decorators, but not sure.

9pm Freemans Restaurant. Was sitting next to Vanessa Carlton who kept complaining about some producer credit she wasn’t getting. Poor thing was wearing victorian ruffles and a jumper. Rather sad.

Tim Gunn, Food Cart on 40th and Seventh Ave. Today 12:30. Wearing jeans!!! and a leather jacket. Shocked that Tim would buy from that food cart — the really stinky one!

Saw James Marsters ("Spike" from Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) filming with Hilary Swank and Gerald Butler in the East Village. They are filming PS I Love You. Marsters now has brown hair and I have to say looks gorgeous as ever but I really liked him better as a blonde. A group of students from NYU were in fan heaven. The boys were happily signing autographs!

Denzel Washington was looking stately and poised as ever Oct. 25th @ 10pm filming "American Gangster" at 24th and 6th Ave. After the shot he graciously posed with his ladyfriend/ co-star outside of "Small’s," a 50s-era lounge. Mmm.

Wednesday, 10/25, midnight. Saw Tara Reid upstairs at downtown Cipriani’s. She was sporting her new, less trashy look, but still taking part in plenty of dancing and boozing. She looked pretty good, but the lighting was low.

I spotted David Letterman at Duane Reade on 13th and 7th Avenue today, at about 12:45pm. He was wearing a green sweater and khaki shorts, despite the weather. He just sort of wandered around the store for awhile, and it didn’t look like he knew what he was there for.

7:55am, 81st and Columbus: Jerry Seinfeld with baseball cap, holding his daughters hand waiting outside his apt building, maybe waiting for the school bus? Well, maybe a car service.

Corner of avenue a and 8th, him driving west, i walking north. i just had smoldering eye sex with Heath Ledger. He asked me out. Oh, god, i wish. But he did seem friendly in his BMW with its windows rolled down.

?uestlove and a friend walking down Bedford at Grove Street at around 2. Looks exactly the same in person as in pictures with a giant afro and a badass huge comb hanging out of it. He was so cool I was intimidated.

Saw Billy Zane watching the World Series at The Blue Room at E. 60th and 2nd. Seemed intrigued but not really interested. Was wearing a shaved head and a black t shirt.

James Earl Jones... That voice ... Reading from Justice Brennan’s opinions at the brennan center’s awards dinner. Chelsea piers, pier 60 , 9pm, thursday.

Mary J. Blige, at September Wine store on Stanton Street around 7pm this evening (the 26th) selecting some bottles and talking about how she recently took a tasting class...

A Goldfrapp concert at the Roseland Ballroom brought me to NYC last week. On the 19th, I was sitting in one of the very many Times Square Starbucks with my boyfriend, sippin’ on Tall Blackberry Green Tea Frappacinos, when I looked up and saw PJ Harvey standing in line with a friend. They were dressed in black, her friend donning black Converse sneakers, and glasses. PJ’s hair was a long and thick, with chunky layers. She sat at the table to the right of me, for a good half hour, while her friend spewed incessant chatter at her (the only words I caught PJ wedge in were something like "Well, I suppose if you’ve been with someone for so long, you can start to find other people interesting") - that is until her cell rang, and she answered, "Hello, this is Polly." The convo consisted of a misplaced bag, lots of spelled-out terms, her lack of email address.

Parker Posey 200 E 3rd StOct 24th, 2006 @ 2:15pm, With two men and a baby at Mama’s Food in the East Village. Parker appeared to be in good spirits. She’s hot.

Saw James Gandolfini in Soho come out of the Coach store, where three young police officers were ticketing his motorcycle for being parked on the sidewalk. "Hey, don’t you guys have anything better to do?" he asked in manner of Tony Soprano. He didn’t appear too disturbed, though, as he agreed to pose for a cell phone photo with the cute female cop who wrote the ticket!

Saw Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick leaving the 10/24 show of "Butley", obviously checking out Mr. Lane. Were ducking out a side door, very casual-like. Christ, she has a schnoz.

I saw Tim Blake Nelson at the intersection of Broadway and 57th St. at about 9:15am this morning. He looked like the rest of us commuters: cold and tired.

Last night I saw Robert De Niro and Harvey Keitel at Tribeca Grill at 9pm. They all left around 11. I think it was a friends birthday.

October 25 @ 11 am: Just saw Clint Eastwood signing autographs outside the St. Regis Hotel. Seemed very chatty with the three guys asking him to sign several photos. He’s very tall and looks quite old.

Just saw Mario Batali walking into the passport/immigration building on Hudson St. (w Houston cross) wearing the same exact outfit as he has on in The Post today. His fleece vest is blue today.. .orange crocks go great with his fire hair!. He’s there now, portly chap!

just saw Mick Jagger heading into Central Park near 69th street...black sweats on ..maybe taking a jog?

October 25, 2006, 1:15pm, West Broadway @ Duane Street - Leelee Sobieski: Saw the poor man’s Helen Hunt wearing bright orange lipstick and a cute fall outfit accompanied by a scraggly gentleman wearing army fatigue pants. She had a cute little dog wearing a blue sweater. Met up with 4 people and stood on the corner talking. Hate to admit it but she’s gorgeous in person.

I saw Howard Stern jogging in Central Park between Tavern On The Green and Columbus Circle at 1:04pm today. The first thing I noticed was his extremely long, toothpick-thin, chicken legs. He was waring short shorts and a blue doo-rag. He was jogging with some other guy that was yim-yammering Howie’s ear off. If Howard DID get that nose job - he got ripped off. That honker was huge!

Just saw James Bond himself Roger Moore standing outside the Mens Apparel Building. Hands in his pockets, whistling, greeting all passerbys with a pleasant smile. He seems bigger in-person. Much taller then I’d expect- looked good for his age though I suspect he’s had some "work" done- had that pulled look about him.

Dean Winters, aka Ryan O’Reily from OZ, walking down 2nd ave b/w 10th and 11th in the East Village...were I not sitting at my laptop at the counter of Dunkin Donuts, wearing no contacts or makeup and looking like shit, I would have run out into the street and proposed. The man looks gooood. Jeans, beat up leather jacket, better head of hair than it looked like on TV. Marry me, Dean. Possibly my favorite NYC celeb sighting ever.