Michelle Trachtenberg

Ice Princess - mind-numbingly predictable

“YOU’RE giving up on your dream!” says exasperated Mum, who cannot understand why her rapidly growing-up teen daughter has opted for a figure-skating career instead of a potential spot in Harvard.

“No Mum, I’m giving up your dream,” retorts Casey (Michelle Trachtenberg from television’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

A film with lines so trite that one can actually spout them - this reviewer did, at least - before the characters on screen do, has some serious problems.

And just because it’s a Disney film targeted at young girls doesn’t mitigate the repeated offences committed by Ice Princess, an incredibly bland, uninspiring, and sterile story about a teenage physics whiz who realises what her true calling is, pursues it, and eventually finds the courage to tell Mum (Joan Cusack) her decision.

Casey has several obstacles, besides her single mum, to contend with. They include a gaggle of catty trainee skaters and a goodlooking but bland young man (Trevor Blumas), who drives the Zamboni, one of those ice-rink resurfacers, at the local rink.

He always gives Casey a hard time for no good reason - who really understands the stresses of a guy who drives a Zamboni? - but there’s little question he’ll end up kissing her by the film’s end.

As an alternative, watch Freaky Friday, another Disney film but one that won’t give you a brain freeze like this frigid Princess.