Nathan Fillion

James, Sean and Brian Gunn think they’ve done something sexually daring - but not too sexual and not too daring - by creating what they call "PG Porn." If its first offering is any indication of what viewers can expect from the future, male porn fans will probably call it "cock teasing," and women will just call it another example of violent misogyny self-righteously disguised as humor.

Courtesy of the PGPorn.tv website, the mainstream film world’s brothers Gunn offer content that writer, director, producer James insists will provide visitors with "a place where the porn and mainstream film industries meet and get to have some understanding with each other."

While this sounds great on its surface, the reality is far less savory than even the most fluid-flecked Max Hardcore or Extreme Associates release - which is saying something, given that the former has been convicted of obscenity and the latter is facing similar charges, allegedly stemming from the company’s affection for writing emotionally rattling plots that include aggressive sex and fake acts of violence.

The Gunn brothers apparently consider violence against women to be not just acceptable but sexy, so long as nobody actually gets laid or engages in any wet spot to erogenous zone contact.

At issue is "Nailing Your Wife," an on-its-face standard porn plot rehash featuring a slap bass intro, stilted acting, and the quintessential horny wife cheating on her quick-as-a-bunny husband with the classic everyman construction worker.

According to the website, the goal of the Gunn’s video segments is to provide their sex-weary but strangely porn-loving visitors with all the best parts of erotic videos without having it "ruined" by "PEOPLE HAVING SEX."

Heaven forefend.

Indeed, in the site’s introductory clip, beautiful Penthouse Pet Aria Giovanni never gets a chance to show her famous breasts or even catch a peek at what’s tucked inside of "Firefly" actor Nathan Fillion’s trousers. Instead of ruining a perfectly good sex scene with actual sex, the Gunn trio chose to make the pop shot something they think their viewing audience will find more easily digestible: a fatal nail gun spike through the heroine’s head.

Shades of Michael Myers, Jason and other mainstream film punishers of sexual indulgence.

"It’s pornography everyone can enjoy," the website insists, calling into question exactly what kind of pornography its founders have been watching and what they find enjoyable about it.

While the idea of explicit sex-free porn is nothing new — within the industry it’s called "soft core" — the idea that a site featuring the accidental death of a sexually frustrated woman is an erotic improvement over sites featuring the intentional indulgence of carnal desires by sexually adventurous women seems more than a wee bit of a stretch.

Or maybe it’s only a stretch for folks who enjoy watching adults act out their consensual sexual fantasies... including the sex part.

Whether the Gunns have absorbed more sex-negativity from the surrounding culture than they’re willing to admit is a subject for debate and intensive therapy sessions, but their decision to premier the site with a clip celebrating deadly violence — in the name of avoiding nudity — is far more provocative than the clip itself.

The adult entertainment industry has long pointed out that the mainstream film world has a love affair with non-consensually expelled body fluids that’s not merely sanctioned but celebrated - while the porn industry’s celebration of the body fluids traditionally associated with pleasure receive condemnation and censure. The existence of the tongue-in-cheek but still sexually sanctimonious PGPorn.tv and its accidental snuff angle only adds fuel to that fire.

According to the press, James isn’t surprised by the controversy swirling around his site, but his attention seems more captured by the usual anti-porn suspects than by those he and his brothers claim they want to entice and better "understand."

Of course Bob Peters, president of Morality in Media is incensed by PGPorn.tv. Peters and his fellow flesh-hating doom-sayers are like addicts unable to pass up an opportunity to claim that possessing skin leads to sin, sin, and more sin. Of course he and his Greek chorus of anti-pleasure activists are convinced that watching PGPorn.tv will lead viewers down the cum-and-tears-stained path to hardcore fare and the mythically rampant "abuse" of the "real people" who appear in it.

The idea of sexy but non-explicit scenarios is packed with potential, but it’s not a new idea; not even to porn consumers. Burlesque, vaudeville, Benny Hill, Swedish erotica, and the Carol Connors "Erotic Adventures of Candy," and "Candy Goes to Hollywood" features — to name only a few — used and continue to use flirtatious innuendo to prime their erotic pumps.

While violence and aggression have and can play a part in what gives softcore entertainment its appeal, relying upon it for a punch line seems especially adolescent and, cowardly, uncreative, and morality tale heavy.

"We like to pretend that we’re miles and miles away from pornography," James confessed to the media," but we’re not."

Gunn and brothers may be geo-located near the porn heartland - and may even have watched enough porn to nurture this latest manifestation of Hollywood’s desire to create pornographic material without actually becoming pornographers - but "Nailing Your Wife" is nothing to be proud of. Instead, it is just another example of Tinsel Town’s wanton hypocrisy and love for claiming the moral high ground by punishing honest sexual expression with violence, however comic.

Future walks on the not-so-wild-side will feature esteemed female performers including Belladonna and Sasha Gray; neither of whom will become naked. Whether or not their characters will survive their non-sexual encounters is yet to be seen.