Nathan Fillion

There are two kinds of People in the world, folks. Those who pee in the shower, and those who don’t. People who signal when they change lanes, and people who would rather surprise you with their half ton of metal hurtling down the roadway because they are too busy not having a headset for all their yapping even though they can obviously afford one because they’ve got the newest (insert brand name luxury car/SUV here) which I guess gives us all hope in a way because it says to the world "Don’t worry, bud! You don’t have to be smart to be rich! Just look at me, I’m a stupid asshole!" That having been said- Which kind of person are you? I have to imagine that Spartans pee in the shower. 300 of those bastards held off millions of Persians in those incredible chroma-hues, it couldn’t have been easy. The movie rocked my world a little bit. All the gruesomeness of a Braveheart, the poetry of battle that betters the Matrix, and painted to feel historic as beautifully as Saving Private Ryan was, yet woven together in a beautiful world created entirely for the purpose. I believe the Greeks used the term, "Bitchin’." Way to go, Gerry.

Unrelated, I had lunch at the Office a few weeks ago. The Annex, the kitchen, the office itself- it’s all real! There is so much space between Pam’s desk and Dwight’s that I never knew about. I rummaged through Michael’s safe. I watched as cast members updated their myspace pages and checked their emails while on lunch, but at their character’s desks! Can you believe it? Now, many of you may have weirded out- sputtering stupid things excitedly while being ushered around on a first class tour. I’ll have you know... I’m not above that. Thank you, Jenna, for putting up with the high pitched squels of excitement, the stupid questions, and demanding that you answer as Pam. Thank you James Gunn, for using your powerful influence to sit me down with the cast. Thank you Joss, for giving me something to talk about with everybody. Go figure, they love the crap outta you, too.

I did have to get rid of some Negative Nancies and advertisers from the page. Life’s too short, guys. If you can’t stifle the mean- prepare to be Spring Cleaned. I think I deleted four people for good reason, then went power mad and deleted sixty-four more at random. For a moment, I was a god. Then I realized, this is Sparta.

As for the updates on what’s going on in Nathantainment: Wonder Con was a real lift. All you Browncoats did me a solid and showed some real support. You made me look like a big man in front of my Drive pals. Thanks. You wanna have some fun? Next time, let’s play it up a bit. When you come up to ask a question, start with, "Hey Nathan, it’s (Your name here) from (your town here). You set my arm when I broke it?" (Or some such other thing I helped you with- job, marriage, lost dog, flat tire, you know!) I’ll come back with, "Oh, yeah! How’s the arm? You back at tennis?" And you say, "Oh, it’s great. My doc couldn’t believe how well you set it. Anyways, my question was..." Then, we drop it. Quick and to the point is where the comedy is. Now, the joke won’t work if you get extra creative or weird/gross, so keep it real, and we can all have a laugh. I did a special edition commentary with some dear friends for a movie we did, and I’m looking forward to seeing it come out again. Drive premieres April 15th, I’m told. Really getting excited here, guys. Tim Minear’s middle name should be Doesn’t Disappoint. Tim D.D. Minear. That’s got a ring, you gotta admit. Waitress has trailers on Apple’s Quicktime site. I’m so proud. Snif.

Your homework? Tell me what two kinds of people are in this world. For example: There are two kinds of people in this world. People who smoke in front of others, and people who give a shit about the welfare of those around them because they understand the stink doesn’t stop when the cigarette goes out notwithstanding the obvious health dangers to alll involved.

You assignment must be in "There are two kinds of people in this world" form, though the number may change for comedic purposes. This is Sparta, and I’m Bill Pardy.