ABC announced its fall slate Tuesday morning!

The big news is that, following this Sunday’s season finale no new “Alias” episode will air in 2004.

What are we excited about? “Lost,” the weirdass new castaway series from “Alias” creator J.J. Abrams, and “Fleet Street,” the “Practice” sequel starring James Spader, William Shatner, Rhona Mitra and Lake Bell.

Shitcoms “I’m With Her” and “It’s All Relative” have been purged (and the Jessica Simpson laugh-fest apparently was not ordered), apparently because all networks realized about seven seconds ago that Americans now prefer reality shows to anything with a laughtrack. Even "Life With Bonnie," described as "renewed (or almost)" by USA Today last month, is on the scrapheap.

One caveat: some say “Wife Swap” and “Extreme Makeover” could trade slots by the time of ABC’s formal Tuesday announcement.

The expected big rundown:

Monday

8:00 The Benefactor

9:00 Monday Night Football

Tuesday

8:00 My Wife And Kids

8:30 George Lopez

9:00 According to Jim

9:30 That’s Just Rodney

10:00 NYPD Blue/Blind Justice

Wednesday

8:00 Lost

9:00 The Bachelor

10:00 Wife Swap

Thursday

8:00 Extreme Makeover

9:00 Life As We Know It

10:00 Primetime

Friday

8:00 8 Simple Rules ...

8:30 Savages

9:00 Hope & Faith

9:30 Less Than Perfect

10:00 20/20

Saturday

8:00 Wonderful World of Disney

Sunday

7:00 America’s Funniest Home Videos

8:00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

9:00 Desperate Housewives/Alias

10:00 Fleet Street

The nine new autumn shows:

“The Benefactor” is a realitiy skein from Clay Newbill (“The Mole”) that will see Internet zillionaire Mark Cuban give away $1 million to an individual he deems worthy.

“That’s Just Rodney” is a family sitcom built around standup comic Rodney Carrington, from writer-producer Don Reo (“Blossom,” “The John Larroquette Show,” “Action,” “My Wife and Kids”). It stars Carrington, Amy Pietz (“Caroline in the City,” “The Weber Show”), Jennifer Aspen (“Bob Patterson”), Matthew Michael Josten (“JAG”), Oliver Davis (Alex Taggart on “ER”) and Nick Searcy (“Seven Days”).

“Blind Justice” is about a blind detective who fights crime - like “Daredevil”! But not so much. It’s from “NYPD Blue” writers Matt Olmstead, Nicholas Wooten and Stephen Bochco and stars Ron Eldard (“Men Behaving Badly”), Rena Sofer (“Coupling”), Marisol Nichols (“Vegas Vacation”), Reno Wilson (“The Chronicle”) and Frank Grillo (“Minority Report”).

“Lost” is a sci-fi action adventure about plane-crash survivors who find themselves stranded on a strange island teeming with the weird and dangerous, created by “Alias” mastermind J.J. Abrams. It stars Matthew Fox (“Party of Five,” “Haunted”), Maggie Grace (“Oliver Beene”), Ian Somerhalder (Adam Knight on “Smallville”), Dominic Monaghan (the “Lord of the Rings” series), Harold Perrineau (the “Matrix” series), Daniel Dae Kim (“Angel,” “24,” “Hulk”), Naveen Andrews (“The English Patient,” “Rollerball”), Josh Holloway and Evangeline Lilly.

“Wife Swap” is a reality show about hausfraus who swap households without getting to sleep with each other’s husbands. It’s based on a Brit hit and comes from producer Michael Davies (“Who Wants to Be A Millionaire”) “Life As We Know It”, a Seattle coming-of-age hourlong from “Freaks & Geeks” writers Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah. It stars Sean Faris (“Undressed,” “Sleepover”), Jon Foster (“Danny”), Chris Lowell, Marguerite Moreau (“Wet Hot American Summer,” “Runaway Jury”), Kelly Osbourne (“The Osbournes”), Lisa Darr (“Popular”), Missy Pergrym (“Black Sash”) and D.B. Sweeney (“Harsh Realm”).

“Savages” is a sitcom about a father raising five teen boys, from married writer-producers Mike Scully and Julie Thacker (“The Simpsons,” “The Pitts”). It stars Keith Carradine (“Deadwood”), Eric Von Detten (“The Princess Diaries”), Shaun Sipos (“Maybe It’s Me”), Mitchel Musso (“Secondhand Lions”) and Vincent Ventresca (“The Invisible Man”).

“Desperate Housewives” is a comedy-drama about four housewives on a cul-de-sac, all of whom harbor secrets. It’s from writer-producer Marc Cherry (“The Golden Girls,” “The Crew,” “Some Of My Best Friends”) and Chuck Pratt (“Sunset Beach,” “Titans”). It stars Teri Hatcher (“Spy Kids”), Marcia Cross (“Everwood”), Felicity Huffman (“Sports Night,” “Out of Order”), Eva Longoria (“L.A. Dragnet”), Sheryl Lee (“Kingpin”), Andrea Bowen (“That Was Then”), Jamie Denton (“Threat Matrix”), Ricardo Chavira (“The Alamo”), Mark Moses (“Red Dragon”), Cody Kasch (“Normal, Ohio”), Kyle Searles (“7th Heaven”) and Michael Reilly Burke (“Providence”).

“Fleet Street” is David E. Kelley’s “Practice” sequel revolving around the James Spader, Rhona Mitra, William Shatner, Rebecca De Mornay, Vince Colosimo and Lake Bell characters we met in the season just concluded.

And the three due at midseason:

“Empire” is a limited series, set in Ancient Rome, about an outcast gladiator who protects Julius Caesar’s exiled nephew. It’s written by somebody named Tom Wheeler and stars Santiago Cabrera, Jonathan Cake (“The American Embassy”), James Frain (“The Count of Monte Cristo”), Fiona Shaw (the “Harry Potter” movies), Roger Ashton-Griffiths (“Gangs of New York”) and Orla Brady (“Family Law”).

“Eyes” is an hourlong about a results-oriented “risk management corporation” from writer-producer John McNamera (TV’s “Fugitive,” “Fastlane”). It stars Tim Daly (“The Fugitive”), A.J. Langer (“It’s Like, You Know ...” “Three Sisters”), Laura Leighton (“Melrose Place”), Rick Worthy (a recurring Xindi in “Star Trek Enterprise”), Reg Rogers (“Analyze That”), Garcelle Beauvais (“Barbershop 2”) and Natalie Zea (“The Shield”).

“Grey’s Anatomy”, an hourlong about surgical residents in San Francisco, from writer-producer James Parriott (“The American Embassy,” “Threat Matrix”). With Katherine Heigl (“Roswell”), T.R. Knight (“Charlie Lawrence”), Ellen Pompeo (“Old School”), Chandra Wilson (“Bob Patterson”), Isaiah Washington (“Hollywood Homicide”), James Pickens Jr. (“The Lyon’s Den”) and Patrick Dempsey (“Sweet Home Alabama”).