Buffy The Vampire Slayer

OZ : "Oh, hey ! Animal Cracker ?" WILLOW : "No, thank you. How’s your arm ?" OZ : "Suddenly painless." WILLOW : "You can still play the guitar OK ?" OZ : "Well, not well. But, I mean, not worse." WILLOW : "You know, I never really thanked you." OZ : "Oh, no. Please don’t. I don’t do ’thanks’ . I get all red. Have to bail. It’s not pretty."

Oz : "It happens. I’m living groupie free nowadays. I’m clean." (Surprises)

Oz : "Hey, did everybody see that guy turn to dust ?" (Surprises)

Oz : "uh, arm !"

Oz : "Sometimes, when I’m sitting in class—you know, I’m not thinking about class, ’cause that would never happen—I think about kissing you. And, it’s like everything stops. It’s like, it’s like...freeze frame. Willow kissage. (pauses) Oh, I’m not gonna kiss you."

BUFFY : "Try it !" (as she slams the poor boy up against the wall...) OZ : "Try what ?" BUFFY : "I’m sorry..." OZ : "Still not clear what I’m supposed to try..." BUFFY : "Nothing. God..I’m..sorry." (as she walks away) OZ : "There’s a tense person."

LARRY : "Oh, let me guess, that little innocent schoolgirl thing just, uh, an act, right ?" OZ : "Yeah, yeah, she’s acctually an evil mastermind. It’s fun." WILLOW : "I’m sorry about how this ended up, with me shooting you and all..." OZ : "It’s okay. I’m-I’m sorry I almost ate you." WILLOW : "It’s okay." OZ : "That kinda hurt." XANDER : "’Kinda ? ! ?’ What was that for ?" OZ : "I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don’t know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you."

BUFFY : "I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here." OZ : "But you’re not a rat...so call it an upside."

Oz : This is just the kind of sense thats....Not.

Oz : So, do you steal weapons from the Army often ? Willow : Well, we don’t get cable, so we have to make our own fun.

Xander : Yep, vampires are real. A lot of ’em live in Sunnydale. Willow’ll fill you in. Willow : I know it’s hard to accept at first. Oz : Actually, it explains a lot.

Devon : Oz, man ! What do you think ?

OZ : Of what ?

Devon : Cordelia, man !

OZ : She’s a wonderland tour.

Devon : You gotta admit, the girl is hot !

OZ : Yeah, she’s a hot girl.

Devon : Let me guess : not your type ? What does a girl have to do to impress you ?

OZ : Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to ’A Summer Place’. I can’t discuss it here.

Devon : You’re too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have ? You’re lead guitar, Oz. It’s currency !

OZ : I’m not picky. You’re just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.

Devon : She doesn’t have to talk.

OZ : Hey. That girl. Who is she ?

Devon : She’s an exchange student. I think she’s from South America.

OZ : No, not her. The Eskimo !

OZ : (bumping into ghost-sheeted Willow) Oh ! I’m sorry.

WILLOW : Sorry.

OZ : I’m sorry.

WILLOW : Sorry.

OZ : Sorry.

BUFFY : How is he ?

WILLOW : He’s shot ! (to Oz) Are you okay ?

OZ : I, uh, I’m shot ! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y’know. (laughs) Wow ! It’s odd ! And painful.

WILLOW : You came to visit me. You came with books ? Are they books for me ?

OZ : Well, actually, they’re kind of for me.

WILLOW : I don’t get it.

OZ : Well, it’s sort of a funny story. You remember when I didn’t graduate ?

WILLOW : Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that’s what summer school was for.

OZ : Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn’t go ?

WILLOW : But you never said anything. How am I supposed to react to this rather alarming news ?

OZ : Well, actually, I was pretty much banking on you finding it cute.

WILLOW : Well, traditionally, you know, repeating a grade isn’t exactly a turn-on. A-and you’re practically a genius. You’re Mr. Test Scores. I-it’s all a little weird.

OZ : So the cute thing is out ?

WILLOW : I’m trying to get to cute, really. But I’m still sorta stuck on ’strange’.

OZ : Well, I’d be willing to bargain down to ’eccentric’ with an option on ’cool’.

OZ : Something occurring. Uh, now, you both kill vamps, and who could blame you, but, I’m, I’m wondering about your position on werewolves.

WILLOW : Oz is a werewolf.

BUFFY : It’s a long story.

OZ : (shrugs) I got bit.

BUFFY : Apparently not that long.

FAITH : Hey, as long as you don’t go scratchin’ at me or humpin’ my leg, we’re five-by-five, you know ?

OZ : Fair enough.

FAITH : The vamps, though, they better get their asses to DEFCON ONE, ’cause you and I are gonna have fun, you know, Watcherless and fancy-free.

BUFFY : Watcherless ?

FAITH : Didn’t yours go to England, too ?

OZ : How do, Debbie ?

Debbie : Hi, Oz. Hey, you’re not doing jazz band this year ?

OZ : Oh, can’t take the pressure. It’s not the music that’s hard, it’s the marching.

BUFFY : We have a marching jazz band ?

OZ : Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we’d be going off in all directions, banging into floats... Scary.

WILLOW : He’s just being Oz.

OZ : Pretty much full-time.

OZ : You got the goods ?

XANDER : Yeah. Essence of toad, twice-blessed sage, maybe that’s the toad ?

OZ : Well, we better be sure. Destroying this box is supposed to be a pretty delicate operation.

XANDER : Well, then, they shouldn’t leave it in the hands of the lay people.

OZ : Oh, Willow laid it out for us pretty well.

XANDER : Wow ! She even drew helpful diagrams. That’s the pedestal.

OZ : And the ingredients. And us. See, there’s you and there’s me.

XANDER : Well, how can you tell which is which ? I mean, they both look kinda stick-figurey to me.

OZ : Well, this one’s me. See the little guitar.

XANDER : Oh, gotcha.

OZ : Nobody like my Willow.

XANDER : No sir, there is not.

OZ : Okay, toad me.

WILLOW : Oh, this is so frustrating.

OZ : Nothing useful ?

WILLOW : No, it’s great. If we want to make ferns invisible, or communicate with shrimp, I’ve got the goods right here.

OZ : Our lives are different than other peoples’.

WILLOW : Oh, who am I kidding ? I’m not going to find a spell to stop the Ascension. I’m no witch. I can’t even change poor Amy back to a person.

OZ : But you got the swinging Habitrail going. I think Amy is in a good place emotionally.

WILLOW : Oz.

OZ : What ?

WILLOW : Could you just pretend to care about what’s happening ? Please ?

OZ : You think I don’t care ?

WILLOW : I think we could be dead in two days time and you’re being ironic detachment guy.

OZ : Would it help if I panic ?

WILLOW : (babbling) Yes, it would be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything’s really scary now, you know, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen. And there’s all sorts of things that you’re supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we’re probably just gonna die and I would like to feel that maybe you would ...

Oz leans forward and kisses her, slowly.

WILLOW : What are you doing ?

OZ : Panicking.

More kissing.