James Marsters

It was a wild weekend for Buffy/Angel fans of all ages at Dragon*Con Labor Day weekend in Atlanta, GA. The Buffy track was one of the most popular, thanks in large part to guest James Marsters, who regularly brought in incredibly long lines for his panels and autograph signings. Along with him were guests Andy Hallett, Danny Strong, Iyari Limon and James Leary. The Buffy track also included discussions on the previous seasons of both shows as well as games like "Weakest Slayer" and a viewing of Amber Benson’s film "Chance" (along with a special visit by her aunt and uncle to promote the film). Meanwhile, at the American TV track, it was standing room only at a discussion on Joss Whedon’s canceled Fox series "Firefly," (soon to be a major motion picture) which included yours truly. It all led up to the big Buffy/Angel extravaganza panel, which included all five "Jossverse" guests.

Prior to the questions, the panelists mentioned a zealous James Marsters fan flashing the audience at Marsters’ solo panel the day before and Danny Strong said he would like to give out his number : "818... 555... 5555," to huge laughter and applause. They also did Paul Lynde impressions and Iyari Limon commented on being between the sexy James Marsters and Danny Strong, while Danny joked how excited he was to be this close to James Marsters. Now, the transcript :

Q : You guys are all pretty lucky to work on a show where the writer is the producer and in charge and everything, and traditionally in Hollywood, I know that writers sort of get the shaft as far as respect is concerned. How does that affect you as an actor and are you spoiled for shows where the writing is so good and so respected ?

James Marsters (JM) : Yeah I think we’re totally spoiled. Um, basically if we stand on the tape and our hair’s okay, we get all the credit. (Laughter) And when the writing is as good as it is on Buffy and Angel, it’s a lot of credit. Yeah, but in television, writers get a little more power, because they often become executive producers, and they can do anything. And that’s more than anything why I love television, because the writers are in control, and not the actors. Love you guys, but, you know, you’re not writers.

Danny Strong (DS) : We love you too, James. (Laughter)

JM : A little less now. (Laughter)

Q : First off, are y’all gonna be doing any more signings after this ?

DS : I think an hour.

James Leary : An hour... (spills water)

DS :... At the most. (Laughter) He’s cute, but he’s awkward.

JL : We’re actors.

JM : Are you gonna pay us because we’ll be there.... You’ve got the microphone, put your lips up to it and abuse us.

Q : Each of y’all, what is the best city you’ve been to and why ? I wanna hear stories.

DS : Good question.

JM : My experience in different cities kind of evolves around how good the room is...

JL : The hotels are usually great and the airport is awesome and that’s about all we usually get to see.

JM : I have a baby grand in my room. It’s bigger than my house. Like, I walk... (Power goes out) Now we have to prove we’re actors ! (Applause) It’s always Leary’s fault.

Audience member : Leary rocks ! (Applause)

DS : You know what makes me nervous is no one’s.... (Power on.)

JM : We have the ego back.

DS : Favorite city ? Is it me or is it you ? It’s you I think.

JL : James had the baby grand in his p... (Laughter) And, uh, I, uh...

JM : Honesty will screw you, every time.

JL : You people... get your minds out of the gutter.

JM : I’ve got an upright piano. (Laughter, applause)

JL : I got a whole orchestra, baby. (Applause)

DS : I got a kazoo. (Laughter, applause)

Iyari Limon : Not gonna tell you what I’m thinking...

JM : Don’t anybody feel sorry for James Leary, okay ? When he was on the set, the girls were crowded around him... sorry for the woman that he married. Um, the ears man, the ears were a big draw. You got more action than I’ve ever seen in my life.

JL : The ears got some action. You know what ? We should probably answer some questions.

DS : I love all cities, we love you all.

JL : Yes.

DS : Every city in the country. But I thought the convention in Basra and Baghdad was great. (Laughter) Go ahead.

Q : Hello. My question is to all of you. When Buffy originally started, did you expect it to be the success that it has become ?

JM : No way.

Q : James, I still think you’re hot.

JM : Thank you, I’m gonna carry that all my life.

IL : James tried to warn me. Do you remember that ?

JM : What ?

IL : "What"... Look how sexy you are, "what." When we were getting makeup done and you were like "Oh baby, it ain’t gonna be the same" and I’m like "What are you talking about ? I’ve only done a few episodes." "Mm-hmm." And it has never been the same. It’s been wonderful. You guys are awesome.

Q : The rest of you, did you think it was gonna be as big of a success as it was ?

DS : I think everyone at this table, in Hollywood, and maybe the world thought it was gonna be a colossal failure. Hands down, it was a joke, the biggest joke in town. The pilot that we were auditioning for... I actually auditioned for the pilot and I read the script. And uh, I read the script and the script was really good, and I thought this has more potential than people were giving it because it was a joke, it was one of the biggest jokes of pilot season that year, because it was a failed film. They’re making a TV series of a failed movie ?

JM : Several years later.

DS : Yeah, several years later.

JM : Guys, you know what Joss is working on now ? Joss is doing a movie of "Firefly." To all the executives that screwed it up. (Makes rude gesture) (Applause) Now I’m gonna be unemployed for the next 30 years. In my experience, if something risks something, if something talks about something that’s real, it usually fails. People like to be touched where they’ve already been touched. (Applause)

JL : That’s what I try to tell my wife. (Laughter)

JM : God help me, James... I can’t be serious. But seriously, seriously, Buffy... you guys are all here because you’re brave and you don’t mind us coming into the living room and touching you somewhere you didn’t expect. (Applause) But usually that stuff does not go over well.

DS : Normally I have to pay $100 for that. (Laughter)

JM : Serving ’em up on a silver platter... (Laughter) By the way this is the nice guy contingent... These are the nicest people I’ve ever worked with right here... (Applause) Not that nice counts for anything in Hollywood.

DS : Go ahead honey.

Q : Hi there, um, I enjoy watching all of you guys, but this question is just for James Marsters.

JL : Imagine that ! (Laughter)

Q : Uh, James, how did you feel about the guest role you did on "Millennium ?"

JM : I was really honored because I noticed that the lead, Lance, I noticed him in Alien 2, you know... and he broke my heart... and in that movie, I mean, how can you break a guy’s heart in the middle of all that blood ? You know, but, uh, he’s really one of the best actors we have, but, uh, yeah... (Applause) And I went on that and the whole crew, the show is a lot like Buffy, in that it strays toward cinema. It tries to be as good as a movie, and what that means is that everyone works really hard. This is the joke name of Buffy in Hollywood : Buffy the Weekend Slayer. Because we start at 4 :00 in the morning on Monday and we leave the set about 6 :00 in the morning on Saturday. Uh, and, uh, with "Millennium," it’s just that much. The joke about "Millennium" was that there’s two shots for every shot that they use. They shoot many more setups than they even cut to. And everyone was apologizing to me, "Sorry we’re not nicer, we’re just kinda stressed out right now." And, I don’t know, I’ve never seen people work harder and be nicer about it, and I was honored to be on the set frankly.

Q : Thanks. (Applause)

JM : Okay, enough serious bulls--- from the blond.

Q : I have another serious question. James, you were telling some of us at the last Con that something you always wanted to try was hang-gliding...

IL : I did that... Yes !

Q : ... because it’s something you’re scared of and you... I was gonna ask is there anything scary that you all have wanted to try ?

DS : Uh, yeah.

JM : I feel like I’ve done so many things on Buffy. I’ve really let it all kinda hang out and I don’t need anymore terror. I’m kind of hiding now. Yeah. But you hang-glided ?

IL : I hang-glided.

JM : That’s great !

IL : Well, okay, you wanted the truth and we’re being honest here so it was my birthday and one of my dreams is to fly like a bird and that was the closest you can get to flying like a bird and I threw up the whole time. (Laughter) Horrible, but you know I did it... I’ll do it again. Yeah but it’s cool to do it.

JM : I don’t have the balls.

IL : I beg to differ.

JM : I keep finding a new excuse.

DS : Um, you know, yes, I have always wanted to run a marathon. It’s been a lifelong goal of mine. And this leads to a segue. I am going to be running the New Orleans marathon February... (Applause) Thank you, and I’m going to be running for an AIDS marathon so I’m raising money for AIDS. (Applause) And you guys have so far this convention since I’ve had a little thing out to put dollar bills in, so far you guys have raised $500 for AIDS marathon. How awesome is that ? And I’m actually gonna have my assistant Tammy, she’s holding up the bucket right now, she’s gonna be there at the end of the... So if you have any loose change or a buck or something when you’re leaving, throw it in the bucket. Because, uh...

Andy Hallett : If everyone here threw in a buck...

DS : That would be a tremendous amount of money, so if you’ve got a buck, you’ve got some change, whatever. Give it to Tammy.

JL : It all adds up.

DS : So that’s my scary thing and I’m going for it, so we’ll see if I make it. (Applause) Thank you. The last time I ran 26 miles, I had two cops behind me. (Laughter)

JL : He was on "Police Slowest Chases."

AH : I don’t do exercise. I hate exercise. I hate it, I hate it. And I was at the store buying sneakers the other day and this guy was like "Are you gonna be running in these ?" and I was like "Only if I’m getting chased." (Laughter) The only way you’ll see me moving at top speed.

JL : I don’t like sharks. (Laughter) No, no, seriously, I could be in a pool and I’m afraid of sharks. (Laughter) If the bathtub has too much water in it, I’m afraid of sharks. If I’m in a lake, there could be some giant genetically-mutated crawdad... (Laughter) some 18 foot alligator going, I was water-skiing...

JM : James has fear of sex.

JL : No... what ?

JM : Fear of deep water is fear of sex. (Laughter)

JL : No, it’s not fear of water, it’s fear of a shark thing in the water. So I...

JM : According to your wife, you have no fear of sharks. (Laughter) Okay, sorry, okay, sorry. Really sorry for that one. We say things at these things that we have to make up to each other the whole year. I’m never gonna... you’re gonna make jokes on that one... oh my God. Save us, hello.

JL : Yeah, please, more questions.

Q : Hi, thank you all for being here. I really enjoy you all, but I have to say green is good. (Applause)

DS : What ?

Q : Green is good.

AH : I hate green ! I hate green ! I don’t have anything green anymore.

Q : Well, whatever color you are, that’s fine.

AH : My green truck is gone. I don’t do Christmas trees...

JL : Good, what were you doing with a green truck ? (Laughter) What are you doing with a green truck ? Green ?

Q : This question is actually for Danny.

DS : Wow, when I first met James Marsters, I... (Laughter) I’m sorry, I apologize, go ahead. 555-55... (Laughter) I can’t believe I got another laugh on that.

JL : Just keep driving it into the ground.

Q : I understand that you’re gonna be working on an independent film called "Four Men Eating Out ?" Could you tell me where that’s being filmed and when that’s gonna be released ?

DS : It’s called "Four Guys Eating Out" actually. I’m not yet a man. (Laughter) And we are shooting in November and we’re shooting in Los Angeles. (Laughter) What’s going on ? I’m missing something. Napkins. Ha ! Crazy napkins ! Crazy, funny napkins ! As far as the release goes, I have no idea. It’s an independent film and most of the independent films I get a lead role in don’t get released. I don’t know if that’s a theme with films that star me. (Laughter) So it’s... who knows ? We haven’t even shot it yet.

Q : So is it going straight to video then ? (Laughter)

DS : It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gone straight to video, let me tell you, sweetheart. Hopefully not, it’s really funny. The script’s funny, we’ll see how the movie turns out.

JM : Shall I hit the trapdoor ? (Laughter)

Q : This question is for James. Can you compare your experience working on Buffy to going to Angel where it’s mostly men actors ?

JM : You can hit on the chicks. I had a good experience on Buffy. There are a lot of good people there. But I have to say, uh, David is really professional.

AH : What ? (Laughter) Angel. Angel, not "Touched by an Angel." He’s talking about Della Reese.

JM : He’s like "He’s new." No, when I first met David, he was doing Buffy. (Applause) Wow, guys I can do double entendres, there’s no need to stretch. My first memory of him was when he was doing a gag with steel cables on his back and it ripped him through 2x4s and he broke 2x4s with his head, and everyone was like "Are you okay ? Are you okay ?" He’s like "Shut up, let’s just get the shot. Let’s just go." And two weeks ago, he came back from a weekend of football and blew his knee out, and he was doing crosses, 150 foot crosses because at Paramout we have all the room in the world. And he was not willing to talk about it, and I had to go to the director and said "David is really in pain, I think we’ll get the shot better if he’s taken over 5 feet," and uh, but he did not even mention it and I have a lot of respect for that. But I’m really comfortable where I am, I’m really happy to be there. And uh, I’m really glad for the cast members that have welcomed me. Because I’m kinda insecure and you can probably get away with all sorts of bulls---... Just kidding. F--- with me at your peril. (Applause)

Q : I have a comment for James and I have a question for Andy and James. My comment is James you’ve said many times, you’ve said that if a man is mean to the world, he’ll be mean to you.

JM : Yeah.

Q : Well, I want to clarify, because I think most of us like Spike because he enjoyed being mean to the world and he was willing to give it up for love. (Applause)

JM : But the truth is, in the world, that if a man is not healthy enough to interact with the world successfully, he will not be able to do that in his personal life either. And the thing that worried me about playing Spike was that it seemed that I was propagating a big lie. You know ? And I’m happy about the way that it resolved over time, because it was all explained. And really the only way to get that big of a d---head in line is to give him a soul. Joss can do it with the stroke of a pen, unfortunately it’s a lot harder for women. You know ? Uh... find a nice guy. Yeah. Nice guys rock.

Q : Obviously men and vampires...

JM : And we’re good at sex too, by the way. (Applause) Yeah, you know what I mean ? Nice guy, right ? Good at sex right ? You go, yeah. (Applause)

JL : I can’t imagine why someone took their top off yesterday. (Laughter)

Q : My quick question, though, is for you and Andy about "Chance." How did you like your experience doing "Chance" because it was a great movie ?

JM : Andy and I were fighting street noise. Remember that shoot ? There was car noise the whole time. And planes. But the thing was we both knew our lines and we were what is called in Hollywood "actors" and it didn’t matter. We could take that thing 30 times and it was fresh. And I’m waiting for the same experience on Angel and I haven’t had it yet but I’m looking forward to it.

AH : Which experience ?

JM : The whole wide range, baby.

Q : Hi, this question was originally for James but I’m gonna spread it to everybody.

DS : Thank you ! Oh my God, how generous.

AH : Last time someone said that we were all getting shot. (Laughter)

Q : Specifically for James, at GenCon you mentioned that you did painting. And I was wondering if you were still doing that and who your favorite artist was... and for everyone else who their favorite artist is.

JM : My favorite artist is Monet. He painted the air, in between the subject and the object. And, uh, I think that that’s the most ingenious discovery in painting to paint the air. But to tell you the truth, I have not had time to pursue painting, I really wanna pursue music right now. Music is a...

AH : Want to ? You are, and doing a wonderful job. (Applause)

JM : Music is a real taskmaster. You don’t... what I love about music is if you make one mistake, it’s right out there. And I have bandmates I can count on and they count on me, and there’s a (inaudible) that happens every time you do a live performance. I feel like I can count on these guys if that’s worth something.

Q : The rest of you...

JM : Enough sincerity.

DS : No, I was gonna be serious, I feel bad.

JM : Go, Iyari.

IL : I love Monet too, I do. I love surrealism, I don’t have a favorite, I just love it all. I find beauty in every, every artist has something different to offer, and I love it all. That was very easy, go Danny.

DS : Uh, Van Gogh. Or as Diane Keaton (inaudible) would say "Van Gah." I love Van Gogh, he uses form to convey meaning which to me is the highest form of any time of art, entertainment, literature. Unbelievable. And he’s very sick. So... (Laughter)

JL : I don’t know nothin’ about no fancy paintings. (Laughter) I like me some of them comic book artists. (Applause) I just, we were in France and I got to go to the Louvre and the paintings there were amazing. But I would say some of the best artists around today are working in the comic book medium. (Applause) I like reading the words on the pictures. Them stories is good.

AH : My fav... where did she go ? My favorite artist is a gentleman who no longer is alive named Knute Kaleek. And I met Knute Kaleek... has anyone ever heard of him ? What do you know about him ? I’m so surprised, I’ve never actually met anybody that’s heard of him, quite a few people have. I had the pleasure of meeting him years ago, and he is blind and he has 13 kids but that’s another story. Rock and roll ! Wanna see that one again ? So art... yes.

JM : One word in front of the other.

AH : Is it true that they’re frisking all the passengers before they go ? (As Paul Lynde) Sure, that’s the only reason I fly. (Laughter) Baby, grab that mike, we’re just gonna keep riffing.

More from James Marster’s and other Angel starts at Atlanta’s Dragon Con 2003

It was a wild weekend for Buffy/Angel fans of all ages at Dragon*Con Labor Day weekend in Atlanta, GA. The Buffy track was one of the most popular, thanks in large part to guest James Marsters, who regularly brought in incredibly long lines for his panels and autograph signings. Along with him were guests Andy Hallett, Danny Strong, Iyari Limon and James Leary. The Buffy track also included discussions on the previous seasons of both shows as well as games like "Weakest Slayer" and a viewing of Amber Benson’s film "Chance" (along with a special visit by her aunt and uncle to promote the film). Meanwhile, at the American TV track, it was standing room only at a discussion on Joss Whedon’s canceled Fox series "Firefly," (soon to be a major motion picture) which included yours truly. It all led up to the big Buffy/Angel extravaganza panel, which included all five "Jossverse" guests.

Prior to the questions, the panelists mentioned a zealous James Marsters fan flashing the audience at Marsters’ solo panel the day before and Danny Strong said he would like to give out his number : "818... 555... 5555," to huge laughter and applause. They also did Paul Lynde impressions and Iyari Limon commented on being between the sexy James Marsters and Danny Strong, while Danny joked how excited he was to be this close to James Marsters. Now, the transcript :

Q : This question is for everyone. With all the pressures of Hollywood and James (inaudible) and everything, you guys have really got your hands full. How do you relax and unwind and totally let go ?

JL : Porn and beer. (Applause) Lots and lots of porn. (Laughter)

JM : It’s a high pressure job and like any other high pressure job, unwinding is a big key. It’s music because it used to be drugs and (inaudible) Drugs are bad... thinking from experience, drugs are bad. (Applause) I just pick up my guitar, otherwise I just smash my place up.

JL : It’s weird, your experience is way different from mine. For me, not working is the stressful part. Right now, very stressful. And when I actually get the job, it’s like there’s no stress at all, it’s great. I’d do this for free...

JM : You have the ears.

JL : Everyone has a great support system around you. My wife and son are fantastic, so, it’s great to kinda go home. (Applause)

Q : One more quick comment, thank you so much, all of you, for being here. You guys are just awesome people on the inside and out... (Applause)

DS : Thank you guys for having us, you guys are awesome.

JM : You don’t know our lives without you. Our lives without you are very much like this but there’s nobody watching. (Laughter)

DS : This technically is my life, I do this at home. Andy and I are hilarious.

AH : And he still makes me raise my hand.

JL : We switch characters, on Tuesday I’m Danny.

Q : Hi.

DS, JL : Hi.

Q : Andy did not lose his shoes last night, just to let you know. (Applause) Um, I was wondering, James is going to Angel and Danny’s doing his new independent film. I was wondering what James Leary and Iyari Limon are doing for upcoming film projects ?

JM : Now we get the reality of Hollywood.

IL : Yeah, I don’t have anything coming up. You can catch me on the first episode of the Drew Carey Show... (Applause) I play a prostitute. It’s so fun. I’m just waiting for them to come to their senses and write me on Angel. (Laughter) But no I don’t have anything. James ?

JM : The truth of it is that these guys are, uh, ten times more talented than I’ve ever... man, my old friends are gonna hate me. Um, they’re more talented than any other cast I’ve worked with. And, see the thing about film and television is that a very small amount of people can make product for so many people to watch, that there’s not a lot of jobs. But because the, it used to be unless you can see us for real, we ain’t there. It’s just theatre, that’s it. And now, we got electricity and... (Laughter) And so I get more credit for being on the electrical current than people would normally get for stage. And these guys are the f---in’ bomb. And like me, after Angel, they’re looking for work. We’re all looking for work. We’re all very talented, and we’re looking for work. See James Leary’s film, "Stunt C---s."

JL : You can find it at www.stuntc---s-themovie.com."

JM : There’s more anger in that script than I’ve seen in a long time and James is probably gonna... not give me a job in five years.

DS : I thought I was generous to use my life story for that.

JL : The check’s in the mail.

DS : Heard that before.

Q : James, I love you as an actor. I adore you as a musician. And to the rest of the panel, do any of you have any aspirations other than acting that you’re interested in getting into ?

JL : I wish I could be a rock star. That’s why we’re all actors, we can’t be rock stars. (Laughter)

DS : I’m also a writer, that’s a huge part of my life, and it’s gonna be... (Applause) Yay, yay. And to be honest with you, I’m kinda pushing in the direction of being more a writer than an actor so I think that’s more of my future. (Applause)

JM : Looking for a whole new level of abuse.

DS : Yeah and I got a book of haikus coming out. No, "Sarah Michelle Gellar : the Lover in Me." (Laughter) What are you all laughing at ? It’s a really touching story. 5, 7, 5. (Laughter)

JL : That’s as close as we’re gonna come to answering this question. (Laughter)

DS : Anyone else ? Future aspirations.

JL : I write as well and... uh... (Laughter) video games. (Applause)

DS : Can I just tell you about Andy ? Most people don’t know this, that Andy’s a pimp.

JL : And lemme tell ya, his pimp hand is strong. (Laughter)

DS : I’m sorry Andy.

AH : What was the question ? (Laughter)

Q : Aspirations.

AH : I’m kinda trying to get as far away from this group as possible. (Applause) I love... I’m trying to learn to play piano which is kinda my latest thing. The woman who asked is gone, right ? (Laughter) When I start talking , people start leaving the room. (Laughter) Uh, so the piano is my latest thing. But I just bought this piano that has this player on it.

JL : So you just turn it on and... (Laughter) I’m a genius !

AH : When I know people are coming in... (Laughter) And like, "you are a great player" and "No I just picked it up." (Laughter) Where do you see a player piano ? Not a circus, I wanna say a circus. Where ?

JL : A saloon about 100 years ago.

JM : Andy, by the way, buys himself everything. He has a Viper. The man drives a Viper. (Cheers and applause) What, he’s like... "who’s the star now baby ?" (Laughter)

AH : I like to keep myself, you know, I get kinda cranky sometimes in makeup so I just, you know, sometimes, uh... (Laughter) But this piano, wait a minute, this piano, it’s not like a saloon panel, it’s not one of those... (makes piano noises) (Laughter) So it’s a baby grand so it looks like this really elegant nice piano and it really plays itself and the keys actually do move, you know, and it plays beautiful songs so I always just play, uh... wait a minute. (Laughter) What was I saying ?

DS : Piano, piano.

AH : Oh that I’m trying to learn. I’m trying to learn how to play but I always pretend that it’s me playing on the player and I can play "Amazing Grace." That’s the only song I can play. (Applause) Do you play ?

JM : Piano ? No man, I got this piano in my room and I was banging out some chords but I don’t know what it means. I found some good sounds but I don’t know how to get them back. (Laughter) It’s true. AH : It’s in your bedroom ?

JM : I got a bedroom, I got a living room, I got a dining room, I walked in there, I was like...

JL : You got a bevy of servants.

JM : I walked in there and I wanted to clean it up. I’m not the guy who makes this mess there, I gotta be the guy to clean it up. (Laughter) Uh, but yeah, I don’t know. I wrote a whole song and I have no idea to get it on the guitar.

AH : But didn’t you just say the piano was in your bedroom ? Am I making that up ?

JM : But it’s in my suite. I have like a bunch of rooms, man, it’s huge...

JL : And I couldn’t get two double beds. (Laughter, applause) We only have one bed sorry, just put two twins...

JM : I invited you all up after the show but I fell asleep. (Laughter) I don’t know if you came or not.

DS : I was at the door, I spent the night at the door. Like James is gonna come out and we’re gonna party ! Rock and roll ! Ten minutes later... (snoring) Someone wakes me up, I’m like James is my best friend, leave me alone. He’s gonna come out, we’re gonna party, rock and roll. (Laughter)

JM : That’s my life man. Rock and ro- (pretends to fall asleep) Maybe we should answer another question.

DS : Next question, next question.

Q : Okay my question is for James. I noticed when I came that you really have your lines drawn like there’s no Spike here. I respect that. I was just wondering have you always been that way ?

JM : Uh, no, Spike’s real. Spike is the part of me that if you f--- with me, you get. Sorry to anybody under 18 because that’s not a real word. But yeah, um... if you talk to actors that I’ve hired in Seattle or Chicago, they’ll be like "I know Spike. I know him too well." But franklyin a situation like this, there’s really very little reason for me to show that and you know, I feel like Spike is the intersection between my anger and Joss’s humor. When I’m mad, I’m not funny. I’m just an ass----.

DS : Mm-hmm. (Laughter)

JM : You combine that with the script which is not mine and you get Spike. I’m showing a nice side of me here because you guys paid me a lot of money, baby grand in the room and everything. Babe, check it out. Remember on the plane ? Ass----. Remember ? She’s like "Mm-hmm." Uh, yeah.

JL : You’re the one who brought it up.

JM : I’m a nice guy, really ! Believe me. Really, I have a large instinct for self protection and that’s all. Yeah.

Q : One more question. (Laughter) If I asked you to stop (unintelligible) would you ? (Applause)

JL : Don’t take the plastic, it’s all maxed out.

DS : It’s no good, it’s no good. I already used that once. (Laughter) Yeah I just wanna add to James’ answer that if you f--- with me, you get Jonathan. (Laughter, applause) So don’t cross me. Don’t cross me ever. Or you’ll get a nebbish Jew. Oh wait that actually is me. Never mind. (Laughter)

JL : I’d just like to say Clem’s a lover not a fighter. (Applause)

Q : Are you only signed on to one season of Angel ?

JM : Two seasons. (Applause) My thought is though that I want for that show is to go longer than Buffy, I want that show to go for ten years. (Applause, laughter) Why are you laughing ? It’s a good show. Oh, Andy’s like "What ? I got a movie coming out, what ?"

DS : I just felt like a fan for a second, when he said two seasons I’m like "Oh good, Spike’s gonna be on Angel for two seasons !" (Applause) I did, I got excited.

JL : I had a decidedly more selfish reason, like "Ooh I got two more years for me to be on it." (Applause)

JM : How many people think that Clem should be a regular character ? (Big applause) Write that down, send it to Joss Whedon.

JL : Thank you guys very much, that means a lot to me. Wow. You guys are gonna make me cry, thanks a lot, I really appreciate that. Thank you. (Applause)

JM : James Leary is probably a better actor than I am. No, I’m serious. I went to see a show that he produced in Pasadena and he scared the living s--- out of me. He played an east (unintelligble) right ?

JL : He’s actually from the backcountry.

JM : Okay, his accent was more specific than mine and he was way scarier than I’ve ever dreamt about. I was in the third row, I wanted to leave. I’m like "Ahhhh..." He’s not just Clem.

AH : He’s not just Clem, the foreskin demon. (Laughter)

JL : Quit stealing my jokes, Hallett. (Laughter)

JM : Hey man if you need that much foreskin, you got it going on. (Applause)

DS : Okay. Whoa nelly.

AH : I didn’t think of that, next question.

Q : First Andy, where’d you get that shirt ?

AH : Ah ! I got this from my sweetheart girl yesterday. I told her I liked her shirt and she took it off and gave it to me. (Applause) This isn’t mine, I mean it’s mine now, but... (Laughter) I gave her my shirt, where is she ?

IL : She’s here somewhere, it was a blue one I saw it, there she is... (Applause)

AH : I love my new shirt, thank you, thank you ! She’s such a sweetheart and I just told her I liked it and asked where to get it and so we traded shirts. (Laughter) You wear mine yet ? No.

Q : Andy, we wanna know if that’s how you got your Viper. (Laughter) Someone was driving it, you liked it, you swapped, whatever.

Q : This was to James Leary and Danny Strong. I’ve had a great time at this convention so far except the fact that y’all two have followed me around wherever I went. (Laughter)

DS : That’s because you’re the greatest piece of ass I’ve ever... (Applause) And I’m just trying to make it happen. Just a taste, just something ! Something to wet my beak ! There you go and don’t walk away ! Nobody touch that ass, it’s mine ! (Laughter) Why ? Why not me ? I can be taller ! I’ll be taller for you ! (Laughter)

JM : My face hurts. (Laughter) I thought I was tired.

JL : There went our last hope for (unintelligible) (Laughter) Gone now.

DS : Next question.

Q : For the past five years, I have suffered from agoraphobia. And for the last nine months, I’ve worked very hard to go 25 miles from my house to see you guys.

JM : Wow ! (Applause)

Q : I have not had one panic attack since I’ve been here.

JM : You rock ! (Applause)

Q : And, I’m sorry, in researching what I’ve been going through, I’ve found that there’s a lot of people out there who have this, and the stress that you’re under, have you ever had a sit- like, I can’t work. I’m just now getting to the point where maybe, after this I feel like maybe I can go back to work. And have you ever dealt with anything like that... ?

JM : Exactly that. I used to have a hard time getting out the door, to tell you the truth. I read a book called "Fahrenheit 451." (Applause) And for four months I couldn’t leave the door. The one thing I have to say to you ? Courage is not the absence of fear. It is not letting it f--- your life up. Yeah. (Applause)

Q : The rest of you ? Ever have that ?

AH : I’ve been using the agoraphobia line for a long time for when I don’t show up to work. (Laughter) So uh...

Q : Joss doesn’t buy it does he ?

AH : Joss buys that one, yeah. Neither does Fox. (Laughter) But in all seriousness, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve made that step. It’s truly amazing because I have a very dear friend who experiences the same exact thing who lives in Massachusetts. And she and I have been friends for years and she and it’s something that’s taken me a long time to understand completely. Because it’s something that in that respect, we have such different personalities, different outlooks on it. And I would just, I’m so bossy, I guess, I’ll cut. Carol... I wasn’t gonna say her name. Her e-mail address... (Laughter)

JL : 555... (Laughter)

AH : I would just be like Carol, come on let’s go, and just try to force her to just go with me and go places. And I’d show her that it would be safe and that we would have a good time and that it would be an okay thing to do. But I realize that that’s completely the wrong approach and so forth. And after studying it, it is something that is really, really, really complex and wild. And for you to have made this accomplishment is so, so wonderful. (Applause)

Q : You guys really inspired me...

AH : If I could just say one thing... I’m so glad that... Whatever the situation was that inspired you to make that step, continue to look at that every day and to try to take pieces of that. If... (off-mic) Because that one experience might not, you know, like, this set-up or whatever inspired you to come out... Huh ? She’s like wrap it up. (Laughter) I get this all the time. (Laughter) I’m saying that, like, whatever the experience was that inspired you to do this today or this weekend, that may not happen again, exactly the same set-up, but just take a piece... (off-mic)

Q : It’s literally block by block.

JM : Just so you know, how many people here have a hard time getting out of the house sometimes ? You’re not alone.

Q : Lastly, I think all five of you are hot.

DS : Thank you.

JM : You rock !

AH : We’re gonna have fun with you this weekend, my dear...

JL : Because you’re hot. Where’s your front door ?

IL : James, I like your shirt.

JM : It’s kinda dirty.

IL : Would you like to trade ?

JM : Got a bra on ?

IL : Yes !

JM : Oh cover it...

JL : I’m not wearing a bra. (Laughter)

JM : I love ya but you ain’t as pretty, I’m sorry.

Q : I just want to say that all of you are completely awesome. I’ve watched Buffy and Angel since the very beginning.

AH : Wait hold on one second, I’m sorry, sweetheart, can you see that zoom lens, honey ? I had to interrupt you because I was thinking, what is madame photographing, James’ eyelashes ? She’s in the front row...

JL : James’ pores are fascinating. He has the best pores in Hollywood. (Laughter)

AH : She’s got that thing zoomed in. I don’t know... (Laughter) That thing you see for paparazzi for like two miles away. More like at the Red Sox game in the back-back... (Laughter)

JM : I’m sorry, you were trying to be serious.

JL : Let the poor girl ask her question.

DS : Go ahead, honey.

JL : I’m glad you finally found the tool.

Q : I just wanted to say to both James and Andy, you guys are incredible. I love watching you perform on and off the stage. I just wanted to know, James, when are you gonna sing for Andy on Angel ? (Applause)

JM : When am I gonna sing for Angel ? As soon as Andy makes me.

Q : Or vice versa.

AH : Where’s that piano again ?

JM : You know, I think at some point Spike is gonna be made to sing. And then Lorne is gonna be like "Ahhh !" You know, but in general, I think it’s probably not gonna really happen. You’re probably not gonna see Spike with an electric guitar and a bassist behind him. Unless we go 14 seasons and we really don’t have any ideas. When I first started doing music again, I was like let’s put this on the show man. (Laughter, applause) Never try to upstage Andy Hallett.

AH : Did you say 14 seasons ? My old green ass cannot handle... I tell Dane I feel like a used car right now because I feel like better get Maaco ? You know they spray you down ? I can’t do 14 season, James. (Laughter)

JM : Yeah, I’ll do what they tell me but I hope they don’t ask me to sing, I hope this is from a personal life.

Audience member : Re-do Carrot Top( ?) !

DS : Rebuild Carrot Top ? Hey I love those 1-800 commercials too, lady, but come on !

JL : We can make him funnier, we can make him faster. We will rebuild him ! With used parts from Howard Mandel ! Six million dollar Carrot Top !

JM : Hey look, this lady has a great t-shirt on, let’s let her ask a question ?

Q : Any of you want it ?

JM : I’ll place (unintelligible).

Q : I just wanted to ask about the auditioning process for a TV show in Hollywood.

DS : Kneepads. (Laughter)

JL : Lots and lots of jaw exercises. (Laughter)

DS : Oh, that wasn’t a joke. What’s so funny ? I don’t get it.

JM : Don’t care what they think. Go in there and give yourself and if they like your flavor they’ll hire you and if they don’t they won’t.

DS : In all honesty...

JM : You go in there and be yourself and if they don’t like it, f--- ’em. You know ?

DS : That’s all you can do is bring yourself to the game, and either you’re right or you’re wrong.

JM : It’s a completely humiliating process. It really is.

DS : I like it, the kneepads ?

JL : It turns me on.

DS : Yeah it turns you on. JM : I finally... I got Spike when I stopped caring anymore what people thought. I was in the middle of a relationship... I felt like I was so sexy. Like I was with a girl that was turning me on and we had it going on, and I didn’t care if I got that role. And like they asked, are you ready ? They hired me. So .... apathy. (Applause)

DS : He’s right. I went out with a girl once, it was awesome. (Laughter, applause) And you know what we did ? It. (Applause) It was awesome. I wrote a haiku about it, it will be in the book. (Laughter, applause)

JM : I can’t keep up.

Buffy track staffer : I’m sorry guys. I’m sorry. (Groans) No we’re not having a repeat of yesterday.

DS : Give a dollar to Tammy for AIDS marathon. And there’s donor forms too, you can mail it in to AIDS marathon organization.

BTS : Let’s have these guys stand up, so you can give them another huge round of applause.

JL : Thank you guys ! We’ll see you downstairs ! Thank you guys !

JM : Thank you ! You gave us lives !