Buffy The Vampire Slayer

(The First Episode of the New Season, Before the Opening Credits.)

Buffy is upstairs sharpening her large collection of stakes when her mother comes upstairs and says, "Would it be bad, just this once, not to go out staking vampires again tonight?" After all-she had just defeated an apocalyptic force! Time for a break? Buffy never has time for a break. Angel gone, her stakes sharp, she kisses her mom and hops out the window

into the backyard. Buffy is familiar with this small window at the beginning of every season (school year), when her stakes are enough to fight her battles, and whatever the big coming evil will be-it hasn’t started to build yet. What big bad will it be this season? She pulls her coat against the night and there’s Willow! Her best friend! She certainly has time

for Willow! They walk, explicate the summer, say, "Time to go back to school." Suddenly, a vampire seizes this window of relaxed defenses, and grabs off-guard Willow. Oh this night- ly threat! Willow screams and resists. Buffy turns, her stake at the ready. "Meet my friend, Mr. Pointy!" she says. Bad bloodsucker, he lets Willow go. He wants to fight. He goes

at Buffy with everything, and Buffy (blue coat, boots) comes back at him hard. The fight is oddly even. For a long time (40 seconds, say), he gets in good blows. He hurts her bad, she looks finished. She isn’t getting back up again. A doe leaps into the cemetery. All are distracted. Willow makes a stake from a broken bench piece and the vampire tries to run into the night.

But Xander arrives, blocks the exit with his own stake. This night is going terribly now (for the vampire)! The vampire goes around to a crypt and tries to run inside, but it takes time to pry open the gates. Too much time; Xander almost stakes the vamp, but he stops to quip, and the effort goes bad. The vampire throws him hard into the boarded-up window

of the crypt. Willow runs over, pulls a board from the window for a new stake. Buffy’s back up. Oh, what a luxury this night is! Forever to fight just one, lone vampire. Xander’s bad- inage soundtracks the fight. Willow lunges and misses, coming close, but too far left. Buffy kicks the vampire in face, stake brandished. He goes down, and she’s on top of him this time.

Buffy stakes the vampire. He’s dust. Whew! Wait. Bad. Crypts don’t have windows. The night is heavy and dark. That took a long time! What’s coming begins to come. Let’s unboard that window.