The Cabin in the Woods

After a pretty dismal 2010 in terms of horror films, I decided to look into my crystal ball and peer into the future. By the future I mean 2011. While gazing deep into my crystal ball laptop monitor, I feel fairly confidant that 2011 will be approximately 78% better in terms of horror than the previous year.

Why do I feel more confident in this year’s horror slate? Because in trying to find just 11 titles to bring attention to, I had to whittle it down from sixteen. Why not give you all sixteen? Because it’s 20-eleven, not 20-sixteen, duh.

Anyway, here are the 11 horror films to keep on your radar this year.

11. Piranha 3DD (September 16)

I stand by my opinion of the original remake (huh?), which was that it was a pretty worthless film, good for background noise and jerk-off material for high school boys. John Gulager (Feast) steps into direct a sequel that will hopefully bring some charm in addition to the tits and gore.

10. Insidious (TBD)

Leigh Whannell and James Wan, the guys behind Saw, bring their spin to the haunted house genre, hoping to turn it on its head. These guys aren’t given enough credit outside of the Saw world, where Dead Silence and Death Sentence were decent. I’m definitely willing to give this one a chance, especially with Patrick Wilson and Rose Bryne headlining.

9. Cabin in the Woods (TBD)

I’m not a Whedon fan, but with Chris “Thor” Hemsworth starring in this seemingly lost project, I’d definitely like to see what Whedon came up with to put a spin on this genre. Expect all deaths to be random, meaningless, and cheap. Zing.

8. 11-11-11 (November 11)

After seeing Darren Bousman’s disastrous Mother’s Day remake, anything he touches has an air of doubt about it. However, the plot to this one seems interesting. On 11/11/11, the 11th Gate of Heaven opens up and an unearthly presence will walk the earth for 49 minutes. I like the idea of a set time frame which will hopefully translate into 49 minutes of awesome shit happening on screen.

7. Knights of Badassdom (TBD)

With Steve Zahn, Ryan Kwanten, and Summer Glau starring in a film about Live Action Roleplayers fighting a real demon, what’s not to love?

6. The Thing (October 14)

John Carpenter’s amazing remake gets a remakquel (remake/sequel) starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead. While I’m of course hesitant, I’m also a big fan of both the Kurt Russell vehicle and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, so I’ll be there.

5. Scream 4 (April 15)

The Scream franchise is looking to play catch-up with Saw and pump out three more films this April. With an entirely new cast of young actors in addition to the original survivors, I’d place my money on said survivors not making it through this film. I mean, how many times can you survive a slasher? Worth a watch just to see Courtney Cox taking a blade to the face.

4. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (TBD)

Another remake that had a very creepy and very strong trailer show at the 2009 San Diego Comic Con, this film stars Guy Pearce and features some nasty looking little CGI monsters. Hopes are rising.

3. Fright Night (October 7)

Moooore remakes. This one stars Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Toni Collette, so there is some star power behind this one. The original is great fun, so hopes are high for this one too – the only negative in my mind is dull director Craig Gillespie at the helm.

2. Black Death (March 11)

Black Death swept a lot of good awards at the Los Angeles Screamfest Film Festival and stars Sean Bean, so already I’m on board. Surrounding a group of warriors sent to stop someone thought to be behind the bubonic plague, the early word on the film is that it’s super gritty. Hell to the yeah.

1. The Collection (TBD)

A follow-up to Marcus Dunstan’s surprisingly tight and tense trap/slasher The Collector, this would offer some insight into The Collector himself. While a less than perfect ending keeps it on a lower level, The Collector could have ranked up there with John Carpenter’s Halloween. It was still a great film so see it now and catch the sequel late this year.

Those are eleven of the films I’m looking forward to. There are a couple of other good ones on the way, like the interesting looking Apollo 18 and Kevin Smith’s potentially disastrous Red State.

Which ones are you looking forward to?