Buffy The Vampire Slayer

In my earlier years I dreaded the thought of traveling for business. But with age comes wanderlust, and my wrinkles were tickled pink when I was asked by Kevin Sandler, the assistant professor of media arts at the University of Arizona, to speak to his students about television.

So, four months after giving a talk on the upcoming TV schedule to the Phoenix Advertising Club, I headed back to Arizona as a guest lecturer for two of Dr. Sandler’s classes and to give my earlier presentation at a separate event.

Five minutes before I was about to make my debut as a "teacher," a wave of panic suddenly washed over me: Would I be able to sustain the interest of the students for one full hour? Would they start throwing things? What would be my escape route? Could I jump out the window without hurting myself and sprint back to my hotel?

To make matters worse, Dr. Sandler actually warned me that some of these students don’t watch a lot of TV. Huh? Who are these kids? TV was my very lifeblood when I was their age. Would I clump into the class, the original neanderthal, and find myself in front of dozens of bright-eyed aliens?

In my days, rocking a groovy shirt, bell-bottoms and a gigantic dome of hair was the average student look. Most of these kids looked like they were headed to the beach. I didn’t see an inappropriately tight maroon turtleneck once. When I was in college, there were three broadcast networks, three independent stations and PBS in most big markets. The idea of a computer was a mammoth piece of machinery hidden in a "lab." These days, the average TV household has over 100 channels, and you can be online at every given moment via a laptop or Blackberry.

Needless to say, I felt somewhat out of my comfort zone as a "prof." But once I warmed the students up with some well-placed self-deprecation and a joke or two about the current and future crop of TV shows, I realized that TV still is the universal language.

I could have spent hours on end talking to these students because they were not the only ones there to learn. I, too, was getting an education listening to what they had to say about TV. While I pride myself for thinking I know exactly what every age group is watching on TV, guess what? I don’t.

And I was stunned to hear that most of these students do not like nonscripted programming—American Idol included. They don’t watch mainstays like Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Bachelor and Big Brother; they are bored with The Real World and would prefer to watch a good meaty drama. Remember, these are students studying media. I shudder to think what the pre-med and accounting departments would have said.

Interestingly, most of the programs they watch are on cable, not broadcast, because they consider the cable landscape more creative. They are fans of FX’s Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me; HBO’s Entourage and Flight of the Conchords; and Showtime’s Californication and Weeds. The only network show, in fact, that they seemed to universally agree is good is NBC’s The Office.

Prior to my classes (hey, Mom look, I’m a teacher!), they were given an assignment to watch the pilot episodes of ABC’s Cavemen and Pushing Daisies, and Fox’s Back to You. Of the three, I can promise you this: They will not be watching Cavemen. When one of the students asked me why ABC scheduled it, I was struck mute for a minute, which doesn’t happen often. What could I say?

They were more optimistic about Pushing Daisies, but felt the premise was limited (I agree), and were mixed about Back to You. The one show the majority said they loved, and still miss, is Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. But no one in the two classes said they would watch upcoming CBS vampire drama Moonlight because, according to one student, "It’s not on cable. So, I doubt it will be that good." Ouch.

While I tried to explain the obstacles the broadcast networks face trying to fill 22 hours every week, it more or less fell on deaf ears. "HBO or Showtime is better because there are no restrictions on the language and nudity," said another student.

Try explaining to a college student that adult language and human anatomy is secondary to good TV and you’ll get nowhere!

I capped off my second day at the University of Arizona with my annual fall prime-time presentation given in a room that housed about 150 students. As I walked around campus satisfied with what I personally accomplished, I came to the jarring realization that in just two years my older daughter Jackie will start college. I made a beeline to the nearest lottery machine.