Dear Dexter,

So the new TV season approaches, and as near as I can tell, the creative landscape is bleaker and more barren than ever. A few low-lights: The WB cancelled Angel , which means that a year after Buffy limped to a close and Firefly got buried, TV is now fully purged of its quirkiest and most profound voice, Joss Whedon. Meanwhile, Fox pulled the plug on Wonderfalls, an intriguing offering from Whedon associate Tim Minear, after something like three episodes on Friday night. Fox also barely renewed Arrested Development, a truly hilarious ensemble comedy (and arguably the first new quality sitcom in years) that won universal rave reviews and solid ratings.

My question to you, good doctor, is what is a thinking TV junkie to do, other than subscribe to HBO ( Deadwood proves yet again that they’re the only game in town)? Angel fans have raised money for a campaign to shame the WB into a renewal. Is this really what it’s come to? Do I have to donate money to put a consciousness-raising ad in Variety when there are whales to save and a White House to overturn?

Is there any hope for a TV future in which thoughtful, character-driven programming built to last has a chance against Law & Order: Poultry Inspectors Division and Who Wants to Marry Their Mother? If so, where or with whom does that hope lie?

P.S. Do my fantasies about the Olsen twins make me a pedophile?

Dear Fellow Firefly Aficionado,

I too was sad to see the end of Firefly , a well-written sci-fi show starring Nathan Fillion, previously of Two Guys (and) A Girl (and a Pizza Place) . You’d be glad to know, however, that it’s being made into a feature film, which you can read about at http://www.serenitymovie.com/blog/index.php.

I beg to differ, however, on the matter of Wonderfalls, which had a nicely whimsical premise but was sunk by its protagonist, a Brown-educated slacker-chick whose hipster preciosity was perfectly captured by the Philippe Starck-meets-Cletus design of her trailer home. She belonged not on our TV screens but with the rest of her kind, living in a daddy-subsidized apartment in Manhattan, working in the lower echelons of the publishing industry.

In general, though, you’re right. We’re living through a dark ages. The barbarians rampage through the halls of the networks, destroying our temples of grace — the sitcom, for instance — and worshiping the false idols of reality TV and infotainment: Barbara Walters, Bunim-Murray, Randy Jackson, Stone Phillips, Lou Dobbs.

All we innocents can do is keep our heads down, secretly tithe to the keepers of the true flame —Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Larry David, Josh Schwartz (creator of The O.C. ), Andy Rooney — and pray for better days ahead. Go in peace, my son.

P.S. No, they just turned eighteen, so it’s legal. I would stay away from the skinny one, though. She seems high-maintenance.

Dear Dexter,

Is Jiffy-Pop popcorn cooked on the stove still available? Where can I get that? If it isn’t available, why?

Dear Pop-Pop,

I spoke to Lori Osborne, key account manager for ConAgra foods, the agri-conglomerate that owns the Jiffy-Pop brand, and she assured me that Jiffy-Pop is still available in most supermarkets. In this area, she said, both Stop & Shop and Shaw’s stock it.

That said, Jiffy-Pop is clearly a brand that lost most of its mojo with the introduction of microwave popcorn. As Nicholson Baker, one of my favorite writers, said in a recent interview, "Jiffy-Pop right now feels imperiled. I always think, Thank God, it’s still hanging there, even though people don’t really buy it for the popcorn anymore — maybe they never did — but now it’s a nostalgia item. It was like a Pullman car when people rode the train. Now people only ride the train on special occasions. So I’m sad about Jiffy-Pop."

It’s also worth noting that ConAgra hasn’t done much even to capitalize on the nostalgia potential. Mostly, says Osborne, the promotion they do is premised on selling Jiffy-Pop as a camping accoutrement, doing tie-ins, for instance, with Coleman coolers.

In that spirit, I’d like to propose a contest. I’ll send a package of Jiffy-Pop to the reader who comes up with the best concept for selling Jiffy-Pop to a new generation of popcorn consumers (I’ll also pass the idea on to the people at ConAgra).

Here’s one idea to get your kernels glowing: Do a kind of spin-off on the camping concept. Show a group of multicultural hipsters on the roof of a building in Brooklyn, the Manhattan skyline faintly visible against the sunset. Some cool music plays in the background as they sip beers and make Jiffy-Pop over a hibachi. The tagline reads: "Jiffy-Pop. A New Experience in Urban Camping."