I believe there are two big myths when talking about relationships: the first one is that women love bad guys and the second is that a (good) woman can change a (bad) man. I guess, as in other myths, these are based on faraway truths.

When we talk about bad guys, there seems to be two groups: the ’real’ bad ones and the ones that only pretend to be bad.

"A ’real’ bad guy is one who takes pleasure hurting women, in one way or another," said my friend Rachael. "Like the ones who cheat all the time, or disappear for days, or use women for sex only; there are millions of examples of bad guys, but they all have in common the many women they’ve hurt."

If we see things in black and white, I’d have to agree. Of course, there are several levels of badness. From the extreme bad guys who abuse women to those who like to appear unavailable at times.

For me, the ’real’ bad boys are almost as bad as the ones who pretend to be. I mean, for one, those who pretend, perpetuate the ignorant belief that women like to be treated badly (hence, they act rough, distant and ’cool’). Also, pretending, as a way of getting something out of a relationship, is mere manipulation, and I personally hate games.

Then again, there is an entire group of ’bad guys’ who don’t really mean to be ’bad’... they are just too repressed or scared to let go, so, unaware, they become emotionally unavailable and go around getting physically involved with everyone, but run for their lives every time they feel they might be getting emotionally close to somebody. Seem painfully familiar?

And then, there are those other guys who ’know’ they are bad and try to make it better... for themselves, that is. I used to believe a bad boy was not as bad when straightforward about his intentions. You know, like the guys who make it very clear they are having sex for fun only, or the ones who say they still love their ex-girlfriend but regardless, sleep around. My reasoning was that if the woman had this information, and decided to go ahead and take the risk with the guy, any heartbreak caused by the situation was entirely her responsibility.

Nowadays, however, I also believe this "straightforwardness" is a comfortable and cheap way for a guy to wash his hands and put the woman in a position in which she can hardly demand respect because "she knew what she was getting into."

The question is, do we really like them? According to 100 percent of my guy friends, we do (no wonder they want to be the bad guys.) "I think women are drawn to that image because it is racy and daring," said Guy. "Women love a guy who does not love them back," added Andres. "A bad guy keeps them on their toes," concluded Alfred.

Are you kidding me? Seriously. If we really loved bad guys that much we would not spend so much time trying to ’fix’ relationships and change them into being nice to us!

My friend Dee could not explain it better: "I prefer ’bad guys’; I just get bored with nice, accommodating, candy-coated men. Of course, I want this ’bad guy’ to still be affectionate, treat me nicely and be romantic. How delusional am I?"

Could it be possible that while men want a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed," we long for the bad guy in the street and the good one at heart?

Movies and television have perpetuated the myth that, first of all, bad guys are not that bad, and secondly, that they will change in the name of love. Maybe that is why some women like bad boys. They want to be the woman who changed them or whom they changed for, and also, the one who saved them from themselves. Theoretically, I, too, buy into that. There is nothing better for the competitive heart of a woman than conquering a challenge.

One of my favorite TV characters is that of Spike, in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Fiction aside, he is the typical bad boy who ends up fighting against all odds to become a good boy, and all for love. I love watching the inner conflicts that arise from his ’true nature’ being overpowered by his passion and love for Buffy. Like him, there are many characters in books, movies and TV that exemplify this. Even Charlotte Bronte, in the classic Jane Eyre, paired the good Jane with the eternal bad-tempered bachelor.

In real life, however, I’ve known women who spend nearly forever waiting passively or acting toward converting their bad boys. I’ve never seen it happen. Why would they change if women are with them regardless?

I personally adore good guys and have no patience, whatsoever, for the bad ones. Sure, the image of a James Dean is appealing... so sexy and confident... so independent and unique... But then again, good guys can have the same qualities! Nice does not necessarily equal boring, and bad does not equal interesting.

Of course, nobody wants a doormat for a partner. I too, lose respect for a guy who does not stand on his own or who hasn’t firm believes and principles. I would never understand why, in real life, a Sex and the City Carrie would leave a wonderful guy like Aidan for the immature, inconsistent and irresponsible Mr. Big.

We do deserve the good guy, you know, but it’s up to us to find him, keep him and value him (and realize that is what we want).