Joss Whedon

It was four years in the making, but Marvel’s Avengers — Captain America! Iron Man! Thor! The Hulk! — finally assembled in the same movie under the watchful eye of director Joss Whedon. And while we’re excited to see all these colorfully-costumed heroes sharing the screen together, it got us thinking about what a Dream Team consisting entirely of Whedon-created characters might look like. So without further ado, we present Joss Whedon’s Avengers, Earth’s mightiest (and snarkiest) heroes.

The Soldier

Marvel Avenger: Captain America

Whedon Avenger: Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Similarities: Both Steve Rogers and Buffy Summer were ordinary people until they were transformed — via a special serum and a mystical centuries-old legacy respectively — into super-strong and super-agile soldiers in a never-ending battle against the forces of evil. Besides placing themselves on the front lines of every battle, they also command the respect and loyalty of their troops, who repeatedly put their lives on the line no matter the odds.

Differences: Buffy’s got a much better sense of humor — and a far more active social life — than the stoic, solitary Rogers.

The Tinkerer

Marvel Avenger: Iron Man

Whedon Avenger: Topher Brink (Dollhouse)

Similarities: Both are brilliant inventors who can go whole days just tinkering in their labs, barely pausing to eat or sleep. They’re also sarcastic, selfish and far too aware of their own brilliance.

Differences: Tony Stark is far more comfortable around the ladies than the socially awkward Topher. And while Topher has created some pretty amazing things, he never built himself a wicked-cool suit of armor.

The God

Marvel Avenger: Thor

Whedon Avenger: Illyria (Angel)

Similarities: Both are mystical beings with godlike powers who end up on Earth and struggle to adapt to human ways. Also, they each sport long flowing locks that would grant them immediate entry to a hair band in addition to a group of heroes.

Differences: Well, Thor fights for humanity instead of wanting to destroy it as Illyria initially does, so that’s a pretty big difference right there. Also, she doesn’t have the sibling drama that Thor has to put up with.

The Beast

Marvel Avenger: The Hulk

Whedon Avenger: Angelus (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel)

Similarities: Both represent the uncontrolled ids of their respective alter egos, Bruce Banner and Angel. As long as they’re able to keep their dark sides in check, they’re functional and helpful members of society. But when their inner beasts get free… look out.

Differences: It’s much easier to unleash the Hulk than Angelus. After all, Banner just has to get really, really angry — Angel has to lose his freakin’ soul.

The Spy

Marvel Avenger: Black Widow

Whedon Avenger: River Tam (Firefly)

Similarities: Both were child prodigies who were shaped and molded by government agencies into becoming killer assassins. They’re also both gorgeous enough to be fashion models, but don’t let their looks fool you — they can and will kick your ass.

Differences: Black Widow’s mind is far less damaged than River’s. She also uses her sexuality in a way that River may still be a bit young for.

The Scrapper

Marvel Avenger: Hawkeye

Whedon Avenger: Victor (Dollhouse)

Similarities: While not the most powerful members of the group, both are valuable utility players with a distinct set of combat skills. If you’re in a tight spot, they’re good people to have in your corner.

Differences: Hawkeye’s skills come naturally, whereas many of Victor’s are imprinted on his mind via Dollhouse technology. Hawkeye also knows better than to start a romance with the women he works with.

The Bodyguard

Marvel Avenger: Maria Hill

Whedon Avenger: Zoe Washburne (Firefly)

Similarities: Both speak softly (and laugh little), but wield powerful guns and protect their men — Maria’s boss Nick Fury and Zoe’s husband Wash — from any and all threats.

Differences: Not very much — in fact, we have a feeling that if they ever met, they’d become BFFs immediately. Not that they’d ever make it obvious, of course.

The Assistant

Marvel Avenger: Phil Coulson

Whedon Avenger: Wesley Wyndam-Price (Angel)

Similarities: While mostly lacking in super powers and/or combat skills, both possess a deep intellect as well as a tireless dedication to their organization that makes them much more than just errand boys.

Differences: Wesley had a pretty serious inferiority complex that doesn’t seem to plague Coulson. Also, Coulson doesn’t lose his head over waifish types.

The Commander

Marvel Avenger: Nick Fury

Whedon Avenger: Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly)

Similarities: Both are battle-tested, authority-radiating leaders who have a knack for managing special squads of unruly personalities. And while they don’t wear capes, they look pretty darn heroic in their respective black and brown-colored coats.

Differences: Nick Fury is played by Samuel L. Jackson. ’Nuff said.

The Heavy

Marvel Villain: Loki

Whedon Villain: Connor (Angel) Similarities: Both are whiny, petulant brats with big chips on their shoulders and heads filled with more snot than sense.

Differences: Thanks to being raised in a demon dimension, Connor’s a much better fighter than Loki. On the other hand, Loki has gained access to an alien army. Either way, they’re both in need of a good superhero spanking dished out by our two teams of Avengers.