Firefly

We keep reading about scalpers buying tickets to "Serenity" sneak-preview screenings and selling them at obscene markups on eBay. Very uncool.

And so it’s time to hand a couple of seats back to the fans. We’re GIVING AWAY at least two passes to the June 23 screening in Portland. Oregon. (We may give away three or four tickets if the wife and stepdaughter decide not to attend.)

To weed out undesirables (e.g., more scalpers), there’s a contest.

THE CONTEST: Entrants must "pull a Hemingway" and write a six-word "micro story" that somehow involves the "Firefly" TV series.

SOME EXAMPLES OF WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT:

Ernest Hemingway once wagered he could tell a story in a half-dozen words. The result?

"For sale: baby shoes, never used."

Last year, BlackBook magazine posed Papa’s six-word story challenge to several prominent writers. Among the submissions :

John Updike: "Forgive me!" "What for?" "Never mind." Tobias Wolff: "She gave. He took. He forgot." Michael Cunningham: "My nemesis is dead. Now what?" Norman Mailer: "Satan - Jehovah - 15 rounds. A draw."

More recently, Chris Hanel and I (while laboring on a comic that riffs on this very conceit) found ourselves using the six-word form to try and sum up "Revenge of the Sith":

"The Chosen One loses three limbs." "Two bad films redeemed? ’NOOOOO!’ (Barely.)" "Just get to the saber fighting!" "Okay! Her heart’s broken! Die already!" "Gee, thanks for the psycho, Qui-Gon." "Ahmed Best gets his last paycheck." "Shall we have fewer meetings, George?" "Lucas’ next big revolution: real actors." "Maybe everything greenscreen isn’t so hot." "Well, surprise: Those polygons? Vaguely moving." "It really showcases the Wilhelm Scream." "Droids Can Be Funny: The Movie" "He killed younglings! What’s a youngling?" "Hey, when is Jimmy Smits on?" "All Downhill After the Iguana Thing." "Four arms didn’t do Grevious shit." "Ben Burtt’s John Williams Underscore Massacre." "Christopher Lee dies early? Not again!" "Time to wait for Episode Seven." "Wookiees and Grevious extraneous? That’s unfortunate." "Boy, Palpatine could stand to gargle." "Naturally, virgin births and midiclorians intersected."

You get the idea. I hope.

Anyway, I want you to do the same thing, only applied to "Firefly." (The level of snark or affection is yours to decide.) The ones that most amuse our crack panel of judges win.

GRAND PRIZE: Two free tickets to the June 23 "Serenity" screening.

RUNNER-UP PRIZE: A "Serenity" poster and keychain:

HOW TO ENTER: Post your six-word short story in this entry’s comments section, or e-mail it here. Or do both. (Limit three micro-stories per person.)

ENTRY DEADLINE: Friday, June 17. Winners to be announced Monday, June 20.

Click on the link :

http://homepage.mac.com/merussell/iblog/B835531044/C738019243/E1189822956/index.html