Angel

5.18 Origin—The Sum of Memories
Writer: Drew Goddard Director: Terrence O’Hara

Well, it finally hit the fan: the Connor mind-wipe is undone. And in most ways, it’s about what we thought it would be. But in other ways, it’s not.

There’s a lot of speculation on the function of memory in this episode, mainly from Illyria, who is an entity other than Fred, yet contains Fred’s memories...apparently complete. So Illyria declares to Wesley, as though it were a truism, “You are a summation of recollections. Each change is simply a point of experience.” Wesley declares the contrary: “We’re more than just memories.” In effect, Illyria seems to be stating the thesis that one is merely the sum of their memories; since she contains Fred’s memories (as well as her own), it follows that she is Fred, or a Fred/Illyria hybrid. Wesley is denying this.

Illyria then challenges, “Does this change your view of Fred? Is she still the person you thought she was?” Looking up from the contract Angel initially signed with the Senior Partners, Wesley replies grimly, “No. None of us are.”

Wesley has some of the information at this point, but not all of it. He knows Angel has “changed the world,” and assumes it was a betrayal, a concealment. Once Angel confesses that Connor is his son, Wesley asks if Fred was the price—if Angel traded Fred’s life for Connor’s (as Gunn, in effect, traded Fred’s life for his memory upgrade). When Angel denies this, Wesley doesn’t believe him...because he can’t. As Illyria coldly puts it, “He does not follow you anymore,” whereas before, she’d observed that although Wesley admits he doesn’t always understand Angel, “Yet you follow him willingly. You’re loyal to him,” and Wesley’s only explanation is that Angel has earned his loyalty: “I trust he knows what he’s doing.”

That trust has been lost.

Once Wes knows that the mind-wipe occurred, though not why and not what it consisted of, his trust in Angel is broken: he has to see, and judge, for himself. He breaks the Orlon Cube that contains the previous memory-set, that was lost.

(It’s worth noting that the mind-wipe is undone only for those in physical proximity to the Cube: Wesley, Illyria, and apparently Connor. Spike, who never knew of Connor, will be unaffected, as will those back at Wolfram & Hart, and elsewhere: Lorne and Gunn. The creation of Dawn, with which the memory-wipe has often been equated as the converse, was apparently a global matter: even though Angel wasn’t in Sunnydale when Dawn first manifested, he plainly has implanted memories of her: calling Sunnydale, in S4.13 “Salvage,” he gets Dawn and knows she’s Buffy’s sister. The present situation is apparently much narrower: the memory-wipe continues for those not close to the Cube when it’s destroyed. We should expect to see repercussions of that fact.)

Suspecting the worst, Wesley in fact gets the worst: he realizes that far from Angel betraying him, he is the one who betrayed Angel. As Illyria bluntly states, “You betrayed him. You stole his son.” And it seems Wesley accepts the sole guilt here, as though he’d stolen Connor to harm him rather than to protect him. Once he knows the truth, he doesn’t appear to blame Angel at all, finding his own guilt so much the greater. The false memories were a lie, but a kind lie, protecting him from the horrible truth of his own culpability. Not to hide from the truth but to allow him “to endure it.”

One wonders if the others will be so forgiving, once they know (even though they still won’t remember). I personally had expected the knowledge of the mind-wipe, once it was exposed, to cause a severe rift in the Fang Gang. I expected they would judge Angel harshly for stealing their memories of crucial events, over the past year, without consulting them. Going by Wesley’s example, it now seems less likely that will happen. Wesley’s mistrust and indignation is disarmed by memory: Angel seems to be forgiven by those who now know what he did, and why; he’s even reconciled with his wayward son. That’s not the outcome I would have expected.


Connor: version 1.0 and version 2.0

The one the mind-wipe centers on is of course Connor. He’s arguably been killed and resurrected, with a complete set of memories of growing up with Mom Colleen and Pop Laurence; there are also siblings. He remembers a happy childhood (scripted by decrepit demon warlock Cyvus Vale) and is a well-adjusted young man whose reaction to learning about “demons, vampires, doctors with claws, and [being] some sort of superhero,” is to shrug and say, “OK.” Not easily shaken by apparent murder attempts or the profoundly weird, is our new, improved Connor. His experience of his new life has made him resilient.

It has also given him ethics. He states that he’s not a bully. He respects fairness and thinks Angel should, too. Although he agrees to kill a total stranger in response to a threat to his (foster) parents with no great show of angst, he nevertheless speaks to Sahjhan, released from the urn, in a civil way and, having completed that task, coolly decides that the whole “fighting thing” really isn’t for him. Only indirectly does he acknowledge being Angel’s son. He shows no sign of the recovered memories having a great impact on him.

However, had Wesley not released the memories, it’s made clear that Connor was no match for Sahjhan and would have died at Sahjhan’s hands. Well-adjusted Connor has all the physical strength and resilience of his heritage as the child of two vampires, but none of the ferocity or combat-knowledge to make use of those “enhanced attributes.” With a good part of who he is withheld, Connor can survive being hit but a van handily enough but cannot either attack effectively or defend himself or those he loves. Whereas Connor v1.0 was an accomplished street fighter, Connor v2.0 has had one (1) fight that basically consisted of watching Angel punch out demons. He’s clumsy with weaponry and pretty hopeless at hand-to-hand. Without knowledge of himself, without memory, he’s helpless to fulfill his destined role as “The Destroyer”: to slaughter Sahjhan.

So Connor is by no means the sum of his memories but needs access to those memories to prevail. Is he, in that respect, comparable to Illyria, who is an amalgam of Fred’s memories and her own? Will Illyria only be whole once she accepts and integrates Fred’s memories, both raw and revised, into herself? Does she need access to Fred to solve the puzzle of her present life in this alien world?


What was changed?

For all the talk of memory, physical reality was also changed. Wesley echoes this in his bald accusation to Angel: “You changed the world.” Evidence of the hardships Connor suffered in Quor-toth are gone. Wesley’s throat is now unscarred. Lilah’s head was cut off, and she’s still dead, though presumably still fulfilling her contract. As best I was able to see, Angel cut Connor’s throat and ended the hopeless, helpless lump of anger, guilt, and misery his son had become. Connor v2.0 shows no sign of that and, unlike Lilah, is demonstrably alive. So not merely memory was altered by Cyvus Vail’s spellcasting: the world was, too.


Trust

Another concept this episode plays around with in several guises is “trust.” Connor’s foster parents, troubled by his extraordinary survival, pretend they’ve brought him to Wolfram & Hart to arrange a trust—a legal means of protecting him, should they both die. That’s one kind of trust, and a fraudulent one at that. Connor is not fooled, and jokingly declares that his parents are liars and he’ll never be able to trust them again. They’re not precisely liars but lies...and lies that, like Wesley, he finally prefers to the truth.

Wesley trusts Angel because he believes Angel has “earned” that trust: blind faith, but at a price of dues paid. That’s another kind of trust. And when he learns that his memory has been violated, not only his trust but his allegiance is broken. However, once he knows the part he played in the events of Season 4, his reaction is far from the bitterness and sense of abandonment he felt at the time. Now, with that past overlaid with his current memories of his working, and trusting, relationship with Angel, it would appear that his former hero-worship of Angel has reasserted itself. He appears to focus only on his own guilt for betraying Angel and doesn’t feel Angel’s (and the Fang Gang’s) resulting rejection of him as a betrayal of him, in turn. This is not the Wes who accounted for his harsh, unfriendly demeanor with, “My throat was cut and my friends deserted me.” Memory, not merely re-experienced and known but freshly integrated, yields a different outcome than it did before. As it does for Connor.

Cyvus Vail (pun on “veil,” a concealment?) trusts Sahjhan to be consistent: to try to kill him, if released. Because “Old enemies have a way of turning up.” The master memory-spinner who has crafted Connor’s happy life is quite plainly dying, with all his bottles and tubes and life support, and wants to make an end before he goes. He wants to deny Sahjhan the satisfaction of killing him, and wants to have Sahjhan killed, in fulfillment of prophecy, instead. He also trusts Angel to be consistent: he trusts that the father who “changed the world” to save his son will risk that son rather than destroy Connor’s happy life, which has produced the unflappable, good-natured Connor v2.0 we see here. Above all, Angel doesn’t want Connor to know Connor’s origins and the unremitting string of horrors that entails. Above all things, Angel wants that glowing box left intact. Yet it’s broken, and seemingly only good comes of its breaking. Maybe Angel should have had fewer fears, more trust.

And who does Illyria trust? Wesley is her guide, her touchstone. She trusts him to interpret the world for her and he has accepted the role. It’s interesting that, during the testing, except for initially calling Spike “the half-breed” (which is simply a statement of fact, according to her values), at no point does Illyria express toward Spike the vivid contempt she at first showed Wesley and, really, everyone with whom she came in contact. Spike is not alien to her as humans are. He’s another demon. When he hits her, she hits him back, with tremendous force but without anger or resentment. By the end of the session, she calls him exclusively by his name and wishes to acquire him as a pet. To a degree, she has come to know and like Spike during their rough fisticuffs; maybe the Fred in her is engaged and amused by Spike’s approximation of the scientific method. Whether, at the end of the session, Spike is “resting” voluntarily or involuntarily, it’s clear that Illyria has regard for him she still denies to Angel—the leader, and therefore her rival in a way that Spike is not.

And though glib Hamilton, the new liaison with the Senior Partners, tries to drive a wedge between Gunn and the others, observing that he hasn’t seen much “rescue Gunn” activity at Wolfram & Hart, Gunn’s is a different trust: in himself. Unlike Spike in captivity, being tortured by the First, in S7 BtVS, he’s not surviving on faith in eventual rescue. He rather has faith that he’s finally doing the right and appropriate thing: atoning. The atonement will continue as long as it continues, and Gunn will drink it to its last, bitter drop. Hamilton’s attempted offer holds no appeal whatever: Gunn doesn’t even bother listening to it. His business now is to suffer, and he gets back to it as swiftly as he can. His faith is in the rightness of his own action, his own willing submission to torment. It depends on no one and nothing else. It’s necessary.

Which is the apparent verdict, to this point, on Angel’s “un-Dawning” of Connor: it was necessary and now is forgiven.


Nan Dibble

4/25/04

Acknowledgement: As always, I am indebted for the gladly shared insights, wit, and general snarkiness of my fellow S’cubies: the members of the Soulful Spike Society.




MISCELLANEOUS



Wesley’s and Angel’s immediate agreement to have Spike test Illyria isn’t quite as callous as it seems. It’s not that Spike is disposable: rather, they’re acknowledging that he’s tough and determined. Though knocked down and hit repeatedly, Spike clearly isn’t hurt. Hurled into the hall, he momentarily loses his temper and calls Illyria a bad name, but he bounces right up again and dives back into the fray. And as Angel has said before, once Spike has set his mind on a thing, he just keeps coming. So Spike is in fact the ideal person to attempt the testing, of the available choices. That’s what Wes and Angel are acknowledging. (Suuuure they are!)



In testing Illyria in the training room, Spike is doing what normally Fred would have done. He goes about it in his own fashion, but he refuses all mechanical aids and is plainly very proud of writing everything down systematically on his clipboard, which he willingly offers for Angel’s inspection. At first, Illyria doesn’t understand why Spike continues to get up after she’s knocked him down. (Because that’s what Spike does, silly!) However, apparently punching out Spike has its appealing qualities—as Buffy found, before her. The next we see of them, Illyria uses Spike’s name and announces that she wants to keep him as her pet. Later, wandering around near Human Resources, she is somehow persuaded to follow Harmony back to Wesley’s office, where she reports, “Spike is resting,” again referring to him by name (rather that her original epithet, “The half-breed”). So Spike is the only one, other than Wesley, Illyria seems to have warmed to in the least. His persistence evidently makes her decide he’s a “keeper.” And Spike is doing his best to fill the gap left by Fred’s absence. Touching all around, isn’t it?



Notice that while Gunn’s memory is restored, while Hamilton is talking with him, the Wrath, the furnace, doesn’t open. By the rationale given in “Underneath,” it should. Continuity glitch, I think.


Memorable lines:

Angel: You don’t have to do this [observe Illyria] all yourself.
Wesley: Who else is there? We’re running out of people, Angel.

Wesley: Illyria can be...difficult. Testing her might be hard without getting someone seriously hurt.
Angel: We’ll make Spike do it.
Wesley: Good.

Colleen Reilly (to Wesley): Our son’s downstairs. He thinks we’re here to set up a trust.
Laurence Reilly: We didn’t know what else to tell him.
Colleen Reilly: Please, will you help us?

Illyria (knocking Spike down): You break so easily. Why do you bother getting back up?
Spike: Right. We need to set some ground rules. First off, no more punching me in the face. Secondly, when I punch you in the face, you tell me how you feel, so I can write that down, on my clipboard. (bends, retrieves clipboard) Third, no touching my clipboard! Fourth —
Illyria: I enjoy hurting you.
Spike: Well, we’re gonna have to fix that, ‘cuz— (They exchange blows; Spike ends up sailing across the room.)
Wes (addressing Spike): How goes it?
Illyria: I’ve been hitting the half-breed. He makes noise.
Spike: We’re off to a bit of a rough start but don’t worry. I’ll break her.
Wesley: She’s not a horse, Spike. You know, this room is equipped with automated training devices: you don’t have to test her by just allowing her to pummel you.
Spike: We’re working on the basics. But don’t worry: I’m writing it all down.
Wesley: Okay, fine.
Illyria (to Wesley): You reek of frustration. Curls off of you like smoke.
Spike: Actually, love? We call that Scotch. 12-year Lagavulin, if I’m not mistaken. Good choice.
Wesley: It’s nothing. I just had a slight disagreement with Angel.
Spike: Oh, old broody pants got you wound up, eh? Keep in mind he can’t get laid without maybe going crazy. Makes it funny.
Illyria: In my time, a leader would punish your insolence with death.
Wesley: We’re not being insolent, Illyria.
Spike: I am!
Wesley: It’s just uh...I don’t always understand Angel.
Illyria: Yet you follow him willingly. You’re loyal to him.
Wesley: He’s earned it. I trust he knows what he’s doing.

Hamilton (to Angel): Let’s be clear about this. Things run differently now. I’m not a little girl, and you and I won’t be making love on that couch anytime soon. Now, with that in mind, how can I help you?

Angel (skeptically): So this is just an unfortunate coincidence.
Hamilton: Oh no, I didn’t say that. I said the Senior Partners weren’t behind it. This isn’t an accident. Someone out there is trying to send you a message, and they’re using your son to do it.

Colleen Reilly: Where are we supposed to go now?
Laurence Reilly: I’m sure there’s someone else who can, um...handle our trust.
Connor: Um, just so you know? You guys don’t have to keep pretending. I know we were there because of the van thing.
Laurence Reilly: Oh.
Colleen Reilly: I’m sorry, honey, it’s just— It was a—
Connor (smiling, joking) : It’s cool. I mean, my parents are liars and I can never trust them again, but it’s cool.

Connor: What were those things that attacked us?
Angel: Some kind of demon. We’re looking into it.
Connor: Is that what I am? Some kind of demon?
Angel: No.
Connor: Then what am I?
Angel: As best we can tell, you’re a healthy, well-adjusted kid. With, ah...enhanced abilities.
Connor: And you’re a vampire. (Angel nods.) So: demons, vampires, doctors with claws, and I’m some sort of superhero. (thinks a moment, then shrugs) OK.

Connor (of Illyria): What is she?
Angel: She’s, ah, uh.... To be honest, I really don’t know. She’s some kind of ancient demon.
Connor: She have any powers?
Spike: I’m glad you asked. So far, I’ve established that she can hit like a Mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time, and possibly talk to plants. (Hands clipboard to Angel.)
Illyria: I’d like to keep Spike as my pet.

Hamilton: Mr. Gunn, I’m Marcus Hamilton, your new liaison to the Senior Partners. I have a proposition for you.
Gunn: Yeah?
Hamilton: Yes. It occurs to us that you might want to get out of here. We can help with that. You know, I’ve been by your offices. Seen your friends. Strange: there’s not much activity on the (makes air quotes) rescue Gunn front. Now, we’re not asking you for much. All we need you to do—
Gunn: Can I have my necklace back? (Hamilton dangles the amulet, and Gunn grabs and fastens it.) (To torturer) Come on, Sparky, let’s go: this heart ain’t gonna cut itself out.
Hamilton: Thank you for your time.
Gunn (begging resumes as torture resumes): No, no, please, please— Noooo! (screams)

Angel: You’re not alone in this. I’ll be right there with you.
Connor (amused; skeptical): You gonna hold Sahjhan down while I stab him?
Angel: Prophecy doesn’t say you can’t have a little help.
Connor: Hardly seems fair.
Angel: Fair is not something we worry about.
Connor: Maybe you should.

Illyria: You’re so concerned with names, dates, times.
Wesley: Reality’s been changed.
Illyria: Define ‘change.’ The world is as it is.
Wesley: Not necessarily.
Illyria: You are a summation of recollections. Each change is simply a point of experience.
Wesley: We’re more than just memories.
Illyria: And yet Fred changed the moment her memory did.
Wesley: Fred’s memories were changed?
Illyria: In places.
Wesley: Can you see what they were before?
Illyria: No: they’re gone. (as Wesley starts hastily flipping through files) Does this change your view of Fred? Is she still the person you thought she was?
Wesley (looking up from a file): No. None of us are.

Connor (to Vail): Look, here’s how it works: I kill this Sahjhan thing and we walk. You come near my family again and I’ll slit your throat. And if that doesn’t kill you, I’ll chop your whole head off. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just...just keep stabbing you, till...till you bleed to death. Understand?
Vail: I do!
Connor: Good.

Sahjhan: Thank you, mortal, for releasing me from my curséd prison. In gratitude, I grant you three wishes.
Connor: Really?
Sahjhan: Naah, I’m just messin’ with you.
Connor: Huh.

Wesley (to Angel, as W. holds the Orlon Cube): You changed the world.
........
Illyria (smacking Angel across the room): He doesn’t follow you any longer.
........
Angel (to Wes): Please, you have to trust me.
Wesley: I can’t. Not anymore.

Connor (to Angel): Can we get out of here? I’d like to go back, see my parents. This whole fighting thing, I’m not— I’m not really sure it’s for me.

Illyria: You betrayed Angel. You stole his son. He tried to kill you.
Wesley: Yes....
Illyria: Are these the memories you needed back? Does this now make you Wesley?
Wesley: At least I know what happened.
Illyria: Do you? There are two sets of memories. Those that happened and those that are fabricated. It’s hard to tell which is which.
Wesley: Try to push reality out of your mind. Focus on the other memories. They were created for a reason.
Illyria: To hide from the truth?
Wesley: To endure it.

Connor: I need to take care of my parents. This isn’t their world: they really don’t feel safe here. You’ve got to do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father.

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