Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Is there life after Buffy?
BY KIM LINEKIN

For many, a gaping hole opened during the final episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the fall television season has been all about finding that elusive cocktail of shows to fill it. With the 2003/4 season halfway through and the Grinchy holiday hiatus finally over, it’s a good time to check in and see which shows bubble to the top and which ones have sunk as low as they can go.

First, the perfect Buffy Hangover Helper: mix one episode of the new yet only slightly improved Angel, an episode of Alias and as many episodes of The O.C. as will fit in your container. Shake until fizzy, then gulp and grin. None of these shows can match Buffy’s grandeur, but taken together, they provide enough familiar elements to fill the void. The crime-fighting vampire series, Angel, offers Buffy alum Spike as its fifth season draw, who’s mercifully returned to wisecrack mode after two thankless seasons as Buffy’s bitch. The gang’s takeover of law firm Wolfram and Hart has proven more tedious than titillating, but the surprise reappearance of sexy (and tattooed) lawyer Lindsey looks promising and more reappearances will follow in the form of Cordelia (revived from her coma for a special February sweeps episode) and Willow. Though not, sadly, the retired Slayer herself. Sarah Michelle Gellar is too busy pursuing films even SNL alumni wouldn’t be caught undead in.

Sydney Bristow of the spy series Alias is our pick to fill Buffy’s ass-kicking boots, plus she endures enough romantic angst and family issues to take Buffy’s place as Heroine We’d Most Like to Hug. Upcoming third-season episodes of Alias welcome the return of her good friend Will though not, doubly sadly, Sydney’s Munchausen-by-proxy mom, Irina (Lena Olin). The show’s producers threw wads of cash at Olin but she walked anyway, so now Isabella Rosselini will step in as Sydney’s aunt — also in the spy business, natch. Doesn’t anyone in this family sell widgets?

The O.C., a nighttime soap following the snuggles and scuffles of rich Orange County, California teens, may seem like an odd choice to pick up Buffy’s baton, but look closer and you’ll see the Scooby gang redux. Seth Cohen is a Xerox of Xander, Summer is Cordelia down to the "eww," Kristin is an uptight, female Giles, and Marisa is as troubled and boring as final-season Buffy. There’s no counterpart for Spike, though they’re trying hard with Kristin’s rabble-rousing sister, and Ryan belongs in a boy band more than he belongs on this show, but at times The O.C. has witty banter that rivals anything in Buffyspeak.

Speaking of banter, one new show and several returning shows are mining comedy gold this season. The new show is Arrested Development, starring Jason Bateman as the normal one in a nouveau pauvre family of misfits. Though the show started out as a Royal Tenenbaums rip-off, it’s settling into a deadpan rollick.

The returning shows with the best banter-to-belly-laugh quotient are all about the ladies and their love interests. Gilmore Girls is on the upswing this year with the arrival of Chris Eigeman (Barcelona) as Lorelai’s well-suited paramour (here’s hoping the show’s creators admit defeat soon and chuck the deadweight that is Luke). Sex and the City, however, will go out with a whimper if it pairs off Carrie with Mikhail Baryshnikov. Still, with three different endings in the can, it’s a sure thing Sex’s producers will surprise us when the final season bows out on Bravo Feb. 6.

The dramas we’re most keen on — besides the stalwart CSIs and 24 — are The Sopranos (returning to TMN March 7) and Six Feet Under (continuing in June). Steve Buscemi will be a welcome addition to the Sopranos fold, but Six Feet lost focus with its expanded cast last year and looks to be making the same mistake this season with the inclusion of Mena Suvari as Claire’s best friend and family of the departed Lisa crowding the stage.

Rampant guest casting is still hurting Will & Grace, but at least that show continues to be funny. The same cannot be said for Friends, which only seems funny now when Monica dons her fat suit. Friends joins the ranks of shows that ought to be kicked out like drunken party guests, along with Frasier (which jumped the shark when Niles jumped the Daphne) and ER.

Perversely, the two categories of television that are most often derided — Reality and Canadian — have lots to offer in the coming months. Forget Surviving Average Joe Millionaire’s Simple Newlywed Life, the reality show to watch is The Assistant, wherein 16 smartypants (some with PhDs!) compete for a job with Donald Trump. La Donald gets to fire one in his boardroom each week, which promises more fun than Lorenzo Lamas’ laser pointer circling your ass.

On the Canadian front, CBC dishes up a fresh season of The Newsroom starting Jan. 12 while CTV serves a second helping of The Eleventh Hour on Feb. 15. Both shows satirize the hands that feed them, but The Eleventh Hour is also one of the most quietly engrossing dramas on TV. Also looking good are This Is Wonderland, a dramedy set in Toronto’s lower courts that debuts on CBC Jan. 12, and Paul Gross’ Slings and Arrows, a backstage theatre romp whose first season repeats on The Movie Network in February.

If your bum isn’t sore from watching all these prime-time nuggets, try Ellen Degeneres’ sweet new morning talk show and The Daily Show with sassy Jon Stewart, now airing on CTV at midnight. Then get a life already.